My dad hates my boyfriend even though e is good to me. My boyfriend is training to be a doctor, looks after my daughter from a previous relationship and is great in every single way. My dad hasnt worked for 20 years, is abusive and constantly nasty to me. He doesnt like anyone and slags everyone off including my mum and my brother and sister. My bf refuses to go to the house and wants nothing to do with him and even though i agree, it upsets me. This causes alot of strain but my boyfriend is a great man. Any suggestions?
2006-12-07 02:47:45 · 11 answers · asked by stacey f 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It seems that the fault here is with the Dad, so try and get used to the fact that he's causing fristion with everyone around him (not just your b/f); get used to visiting your parents alone and if Dad asks why, tell him to his face. Don't shrink back when he blows up - stand your ground and tell him that if his abuse continues, he'll see less and less of you. Mean it and follow through.
He's gotten used to being an intimidating boor and if no one stands up to him, he'll never stop. If he doesn't learn that he's pushing people away, he'll grow into a lonely old man, wondering where everyone went.
2006-12-07 02:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you should be concerned. Obviously your dad's 'spidy sense is tingling' and he sees something in this guy that isn't right for you, that you don't see. Maybe you should consider having a talk with your dad to find out what it is he doesn't like. Just the fact that he told you he doesn't like the guy shows how much your dad loves and cares about you and only wants the best for you. I'm 21 and let me tell you that 99.9% of the time parents are right! They know because they've been there. Talk to your dad, you'll see! Good Luck ;)
2016-05-23 03:34:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its gotta be tough for your bf but I would try to get him to hang around your dad more, tell him to be the bigger better man in the situation. Your dads a grump and that wont change, but maybe he'll start to see a different side of him especially since you love him. And if that doesnt work then just consentrate on your life and what makes you happy. Sounds like you got a great guy and you should hang on to him, regardless of what your dad thinks. My dad hated my bf for a long time before we dated and I just pretty much shoved him in my dads presence and made them talk, now 6 years later we're married and my dad loves him like he was his own son. Give it time and I'm sure all the best will come out of your good hearted actions. Good Luck.
2006-12-07 02:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by ELW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If as you say your dad is all these things, ignore him. He wont approve of anyone you go with. Dont push the boyfriend into going there it will only cause friction between the two of you.
Some parents are like this anyway, especially fathers, they think they need to always be protective of their little girl even after they are grwon. Hell I was that way. No one was going to marry my daughter. Had to get over that too or loose my daughter.
Good luck, but if you are old enough, it is your choice not your fathers.
2006-12-07 02:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can you hey ? Your dad unfortuntely sounds like an angry person with a massive chip on his shoulder, if he is like that to everyone as much as it is hard try not to let it get to you, you and your daughters happiness is important and I dont blame your bf for not wanting to go over there. Maybe keep contact to a minimum with him.
2006-12-07 06:02:25 · answer #5 · answered by Calais 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to your description, it's clear whom you should side with. If you dad is abusive and nasty, he needs professional help.
My dad didn't approve of my bf before, but he had learnt to respect my choice. Nowadays, he even show signs of caring for my spouse. It's your life, you have to decided what's best for you and your child.
2006-12-07 03:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by pathanChe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make up your mind.. either you care or you don't care. I know it upsets you, but if your dad is as bad as you say, can your bf ever do anything that would make your dad like him??
I love my boyfriend of two years. this is the man i hope to spend the rest of my life with and my parents are aware of my deep feelings for him, but if they didn't like him,,,, that is there problem.... As long as my parents were respectful to him and he was respectful to them, then i would be fine.
2006-12-07 02:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by princesscutesmile 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl! move on your b/f is planning on a great career and love you your dad seem like he jealous and seem like a bum haven't work for 20 yrs. and he is mean to you go off with the b/f and live a happy live
2006-12-07 03:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing either of them....But if your descriptions are correct, you have one who cares deeply for you, and one who's envious of your happiness. It should be easy for you decide which is best for you and your daughter. Please dont allow your father to have this influence over your best choices. Please enjoy the life that you're living. And let your father know why you choose NOT to visit him. Perhaps your words will prompt him to come to his senses. Otherwise it's HIS loss, NOT YOURS!
2006-12-07 02:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your father is that much of a jerk you should visit him youself if you visit him at all. And if you really love your bf than thats all that matters.
2006-12-07 03:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by AJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋