ive been with my guy for about 6 1/2 years. Were recently engaged. and he is the only person ive ever been with and i am the same to him. but every single time we have sex, i am hysterical afterwards. i cry for about 10 mins. i know im not upset about having sex. but im not overjoyed, if you know what i mean. i just dont undrstand it. please help. is this normal?
2006-12-07 02:46:49 · 12 answers · asked by heretohelp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i know hes the one. i love him wtih all my heart. hes my best friend. sex isnt physically painful, so its not that. i have never ever ever been molested as a child, so its not that. i dont feel sex is a sin before being married. i just got so emotional after sex, and i cant explain why. its not that im upset or really happy, its just weird.
2006-12-07 03:02:04 · update #1
Sex is a powerful emotional trigger and release. Some people do react the way you do. If this continues you may want to see a professional.
2006-12-07 02:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by fancyname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few things here.....
1. Someone said anxiety.. which... it could be. Is something stressing you out, that sex happens to be the trigger for?
Do you come from a deeply religious family? ie. having pre marital sex is fine, but brings along guilt also?
2. Pregnant...? Could be also.... you might want to check... although, it sounds to me, like this has been going on longer than a pregnancy would last...
3. Is sex a trigger that's reminding you of some kind of childhood sexual abuse?
4. Are you ashamed to have sex? Again, this goes along with the religious beliefs.....
I can't honestly claim that this is, or isn't normal. The fact that it bothers you, tells me that it's not right for you... and that's where the problem lies. Who cares what other people think about it being normal or not... what matters is how you feel. Sex, should be a joyous occassion, especially since you're with the love of your life. The fact that you're not "overjoyed" tells me that there is something wrong here.
What to do... Honestly, someone above me said "see a sex therapist". They're on the right track. There is something going on here, and obviously you're not happy about it. A therapist, can talk with you, ask you questions and get answers that we on yahoo answers can't... a therapist can guide you through your feelings, and help you to feel better about what you're doing... At a minimum.... seeing a therapist will confirm how you're feeling, and help you to feel "normal" about your sex life. That is, afterall your goal here.
Good luck
mj
2006-12-07 11:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your afraid of losing him so you cry becuase your sad that he might already or one day be making love to someone else.
Maybe your crying becuase you feel sex is a sin and you feel like your going to hell
Maybe your crying becuase he physical hurt you so bad while having sex that I personaly believe you should talk to him about
Maybe you were molested in some way, maybe not raped but even touched wrong when you were younger, and everytime you have sex it makes you think about it
...You haven't been specific about what your feeling so I really can't say anything about whether it's normal, if i don't know your reasoning.
It is normal to cry sometimes....but not all the time over something stupid...so you have to honestly think and portray it to yourself and decide if infact it is stupid, and if it is than no it isn't normal to cry over that.
If your reasoning was something like the scenarios above, then you have every right to cry, but after a couple times you really do need to seek professional mental help.
2006-12-07 10:54:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like anxiety. Are you sure you wanted to do this? Maybe you wanted to wait but felt pressured and then you have regret afterwards.
2006-12-07 10:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt that way once, but only once. I don't think it's "normal" but I don't think is bad either!! So glad to hear you love someone that much!!! I wish you all the best! (o=
2006-12-07 10:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by javaluv2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for some people. Maybe it's just that you love him so much and maybe he makes you feel so special?
2006-12-07 10:49:23 · answer #6 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in a similar situation.
although its been 2 years, and i dont cry but i feel like it
how do you feel for your boyfriend?
wat do you think of before you cry?
2006-12-07 10:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you might need to take a break from each other and see other people to see if he is the one
2006-12-07 10:50:22 · answer #8 · answered by L.E.17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you and him should go and see a sex therapist...it might help
2006-12-07 10:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by nawti969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that's normal..i think you have to find out why you react like that
2006-12-07 10:49:50 · answer #10 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋