he didn't even tell me at first. First he said he was waiting on his friend to call him back and he stopped and drank a beer. The only reason I found out was because he said he stopped on pendleton pike and I know there are like 2 or 3 strip bars on that road so I was teasing and asked him if it was a strip club that he stopped at and he joked around with me a little but never really answered me. Then later on I asked him again and thats when he told me. So we've been together for a year and a half and he's never gone to one, why would he go now. I don't understand if he loves me and he's attracted to me why he would want to see other girls shakin' their naked stuff infront of him. It kind of hurt me that he even wanted to go why couldn't he just go to a regular bar. It might be different If I could go with him but I'm only 19 and he's 25. Am I making too big of a deal out of this or does this mean his feelings might be changing?
2006-12-07 02:38:14 · 19 answers · asked by cakes0715 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men by nature are visual creatures. They enjoy the sight of "attractive" women. Regardless of his feelings towards you this is just something men do. These women that shake their butts for a dollar are nothing more then eye candy. I don't think he ment anything disrespectful by it but as a woman I can understand how you feel in regards to him going to one then lying to you about it. My husband knows how I feel about stripclubs, and even porn and he will not disrespect me in that way. If the two of you discussed your feelings about these places prior to him going and he went anyway you need to address the situation as to why he disrespected you in that manner. If the two of you never talked about him going to places like this then odds are the only reason he didn't tell you was because he knew you'd react this way and it was just harmless "guy fun". He is only 25yrs old this type of behavior is to be expected. Maybe you do love him but the age difference will bring out more issues in the future then just strip clubs. I wish you the best.
2006-12-07 02:50:23 · answer #1 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well he did tell you the truth which he really didn't have to so do take that into consideration. He was honest with you.
But you can't expect a guy who went to a strip club to tell his girlfriend that he did outright. Its not about keeping secrets its about not hurting you.
Maybe the only reason he went was because his friend dragged him along. He might have only gone to cheer up, or entertain his friend and didn't really care about being there. I know people who would do things like this just for a friend even though they didn't really want to be there (that's what being friends is about sometimes).
If you don't like him going to strip clubs and places like that let him know how you feel (Don't tell him he can't go). If he loves you he will respect that you shared your thoughts with him and will most likely never go again.
2006-12-07 02:47:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not making a big deal out of it, but I don't think it means his feelings are changing. I would certainly talk to him about it. Find out why he went, ask specific questions, like why does he enjoy that sort of thing, etc. Let him know how you feel about the whole situation. His reasons for going could be harmless, guy friends forced him to go, he only went for a friend, just drank, didn't enjoy it, etc.
I have a number of guy friends who find strip clubs stupid and pointless, and only go if they have to for a bachelor or birthday party.
I don't like the fact that he did not tell your right away though.
Good luck
2006-12-07 02:49:28 · answer #3 · answered by kristina55 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally...I think those places are SICK. I would freak!
However, if you've never talked about it...maybe it was "innocent", and he had no idea it would bug you. Some men are dumb like that.
It should just be a natural respect. Men that go to those places don't respect women. How could they?
Cheating starts with the mind and eyes...I mean, really...if he met a girl at a regular bar and they went into the back and she gave him a lap dance..totally naked...and you caught them...you would consider that cheating right? How is this any different...just because they are paying for it? lol! I think not.
Freak girl, freak hard.
2006-12-07 02:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by javaluv2002 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'd say...if he came home to you.... what's the problem? Guys are visual creatures. We like to look at clothed women, partially clothed women, and naked women. It's just the way we are.
An idea.. why don't you strip for him... (assuming you're comfortable with that). I bet he'd enjoy that alot more... because it'd lead to something... where as in the strip clubs... it doesn't.
I would however... kick his @$$ for not being honest with you. Explain to him... it's ok for him to do what he wants (he's going to anyways..whether you like it or not)... but that he needs to be honest with you about the things that he does. The fact that he tried to hide it a little... is the problem here... not the fact that he went.
2006-12-07 02:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
i do no longer bypass any extra. even with the undeniable fact that, i'd like to locate a membership the position i ought to do an amateur evening for my spouse and a number of her acquaintances. i'd like it to be completely nude and my cheering area ought to take pictures. I only can no longer discover an area for a guy to amateur strip. NiF
2016-11-24 20:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only save grace here is that you are 19. Men need variety - it is a biological imperative right after breathing and eating. To think that you are, and will be, the be all and end all of his interest is incredibly pretentious and arrogant. He is not you and never will be. He is the male of the species. Read some of those pop psychology books out there like - men are from mars and women are from the dark side of the moon - and think about them. We are different and for you to think that you will make him into something like you will only lead to frustration and problems.
2006-12-07 02:56:12 · answer #7 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
And what is your point exactly?
That he shouldn't have gone? That he should've told you?
Maybe curiosity got the better of him? Stranger things have happened to a guy or in fact a woman.
Has he cheated on you? No.
Maybe it was his friend's suggestion to go and peer pressure got to him?
Lighten up a little, naked women and men are everywhere if that's what happens to float your boat...........the fact that it doesn't with you is fine but let him make his own decisions.
I think you're making a huge mountain out of a molehill. He's with you because he wants to be, not because he has to be.
2006-12-07 02:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honestly, you're making too big of deal out of this. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you. when most guys go to strip clubs it's a chance to chat and drink with buddies. Sometimes there's lots of guys who don't really even watch. There's no reason for you to be worried.
2006-12-07 02:41:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He's a guy, guys do dumb things sometimes. Going to a strip club is a waste of money but it's hardly worth flipping out about unless it's a serial thing.
2006-12-07 02:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by Tigerlillie 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋