I asked her to be my maid of honor and she said would attend only if my fiancee got an annulment. I told her it was unfair and we argued, it got heated and although we apologized to one another have not spoken or contacted each other in months. It is now getting near the time I will be sending invitations. My fiancee did go through with an annulment but I didn't tell my friend, I didn't want her to think that it had anything to do with her because it didn't. My question is after all of this should I still invite her to attend?
2006-12-07 02:30:42 · 27 answers · asked by Tact is highly overrated 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yes, she is your friend and you will probably regret it if you don't invite her.
2006-12-07 02:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would send an invitation. This is the best (and easiest) opportunity for you guys to mend the tear in your friendship. This will allow you to go on without any regrets. If she comes..then you guys will be on the way to renewed friendship. She has already missed helping her good friend plan the day of her life...don't make her miss the most important day. Then again if she doesn't attend, then you can move on with a free and clear conscience that you extended the olive branch and don't have to live with the "what-if's" later in life.
After all, she means enough that you wanted her to be your maid of honor. Obviously you still care enough about her to want to share in your wedding day...otherwise you wouldn't have proposed the question. Go ahead and send the invite--you will both be happy. Besides she may just be embarrassed over the whole deal and doesn't know how to bridge the gap.
2006-12-07 02:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you asked her to be your maid of honor means she was very close to you. I'm sure if you both sat down and gave each other a chance to share your feelings without criticism, you would work it out. Even though it was unfair to you, I will bet her main motivation was to protect you, even if she chose the wrong way to go about it. Better to invite her (and break the ice by contacting her before the wedding) and have her turn you down than have regrets that YOU did not make the effort. If it doesn't work out, she will be the responsible party. At least you made the effort. Good Luck
2006-12-07 02:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Daniel in MI 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cherish this person and their friendship- yes you should invite them. If you don't- it will prob cut all ties.
And your are correct- it's was none of her biz if your FI had an annulment or NOT! She did overstep her boundries and it was rude of her to drop out of your wedding for that reason.
But you sound like a mature woman and it's nice to hear that your going to be the bigger person.
I personally went through being kicked out of a friendship because I couldn't afford a dress.... and when I told them I could not afford to be in the wedding party- they didn't invite me to the wedding. So it's nice to hear that in the fact when the maid of honor was actually in the wrong, you still a good enough person to want to invite her!!
2006-12-07 03:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously this lady's faith is very important to her; in her eyes you would be sinning if you married a divorced man. It is too bad you didn't think about her background when you argued.
Yes send a wedding invitation, but include a personal note. You can be gracious and pretend that your friend did influence the annulment decision - what harm does it do? "Susie, after thinking it over we realized that an annulment is indeed important in our faith and JoeBob is now free to marry through the eyes of the church. Please join us on this happy day as we want to have you back in our lives for now and the future. We miss you!"
2006-12-07 03:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes..she is your friend and I assume has been for a very long time. Dont let one day possibly put your friendship in jeopardy. She was only looking out for you in the first place, even if she may have tried a bit too hard. At least invite her so she has the opportunity to say yes or no. You will feel better about it and it might even patch things up to the point you are talking regularly again.
2006-12-07 03:37:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, be the bigger person and work on getting over it if you still intend on having her in your life. Plus, if you ask me the situation got out of hand, my best friend would have to do a lot more than that to get thrown out of my wedding party. Anyway, I think deep down even though you are still mad you want her there...plus I would add a little written note in her invitation sayin, 'look I know things have fallen apart between us but I can't help but think of al the good times and memories. I hope you can find it in you to be there, it would mean a lot to me". If she just recieved the invite she might wonder if you really meant it, and if she shows up if it will be awkward. Good luck, and congratulations on your engagement/wedding!
2006-12-07 02:49:32 · answer #7 · answered by Future Mrs. Beasley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know myself well enough that if that had been my friend, I would be really bothered by what she said. I might extend the invitation but only for her to be a guest - not the maid of honor.
Do what you think is best, just be sure to have a really great time no matter what!!
2006-12-07 03:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would invite her, just to pay respects to your friendship. I not understanding the whole annulment thing, if he was married then something would of had to been done anyway. So I'm not understanding the fight in the first place.
2006-12-07 02:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by AMC615 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What annulment? Seems like she cares for u. Send her an invite and call her before hand...
2006-12-07 02:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by Babygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would send the invitation...that way..you've extended the "olive branch" so to speak on mending the friendship..now the ball is in her court if she accepts or not...
I'm a little confused on the annulment part..if he was married before..he would have to do something before you guys could get married...but I don't see how that's any of her affairs..she gave you an unfair ultimatium...
but..send the invite...
2006-12-07 02:35:47 · answer #11 · answered by joschaos 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋