Need some serious advice.......!?

Question

I got home from work last night. My daughters room was a mess, she was told to clean a zillion times, so i finally had enough. I was emptying her garbage out when I noticed that there were box cutting razor with dry blood on them aswell as bloody towels. I am on medication for a health problem, but the medication somehow grew legs and walked away from the cabinet?......i am a single parent and have absolutly no idea what to do...any ideas?

Answer 1

Sounds like the pair of you need to have a serious talk. Be honest and open with her and try not to shout. Good luck.

Answer 2

I am confused with the way this is posted... did you also find your medication in the trash along with the bloody towels?....no matter, either way you 2 need to talk. I would bring it up in a calm way and tell her what you found and that you are concerned. Give her a chance to explain and see what you believe. However, a quick check of her body should eliminate any fears you have of her lying because she cant hide cutting if that is what she's doing. If so get her into to talk to someone immediately and let her know that you are there for her, you cannot punish someone for having a mental issue. I sincerely hope all goes well for you and her.

Answer 3

Oh god you poor thing. This is serious. I know it's almost impossible but you need to sit down calmly with your daughter and speak to her about what you've found. Don't be accusing, don't get angry and try not to show how upset you are. It may be necessary to seek professional counselling. If she is still at school maybe they can help. Young people do go through these phases, often they grow out of them on their own, some are less fortunately. Last friday a family in Yorkshire (england) buried their 15 year old son when his cry for help went a bit too far. It was a needless and stupid tragedy. Luckily, you have spotted the signs in time to answer that cry.

Good luck

Answer 4

Clarie, Never run from someone to someone ..... It takes time to heal .... but you had a great guy influence you, your feelings and you saw the way it should be done .... Do you now know how you want a guy to treat you .... how you wish to be respected? Then the heart ache was worth it ..... you learned ..... no that you have a pattern .....a idea so to speak ... you can look around you when you meet people to see how folks measure up ... over time your views and wants & needs may change .... but you have personal knowledge of this man to contrast & compare to others along your life path .... A person who's better suited for you (closer in age) will come along ..... i pitty the fool ... he has large shoes to fill ..... But I bet he will think your worth it. If your in school ... try the counsilor for a referal on who to talk with, there may be peer counsiling groups too, the Church can help ..... last shot get the parents to check the medical benefits .... but your best shot here ... is time and meeting new people. Good Luck

Answer 5

I second the suggestions of talking with her about it, counselors, and etc. However I'd like to put it that it's not always her friends. I had a friend who would cut and we were all very against it. Tried to get her support and help and to stop but she was completely resistant. The most important people in the equation is you and her. My friend cut because she never got to see her dad and her mom wouldn't even give her the time of day other than to yell at her even though they lived together. She hated herself and thought she deserved to be hurt because she was defective and couldn't make her mother happy. There are unfortunately two schools of cutting, one that cuts because they think they deserve the pain etc. and those who do it because it's "cool". Both groups need counseling..just different kinds. I hope you get her the help she needs and stay strong as a parent!

Answer 6

How old is your daughter? I wonder because this is a toddler/preschool area... If she is a teen, you need to do some reasearch on SIB "self-injurious behavior" or "self-cutting" (google it). Very often self-cutting is a coping mechanism used by teens to reduce stress, and once you are less afraid of this behavior you should have a discussion with her about it. Encourage her not to hide this from you, and don't over-react. If your daughter is a pre-schooler take her to her pediatrician asap!

Also - start keeping your medication with you, especially if you think she may take it or overdose on it.

I am a mental health worker and this is a very common behavior in teenagers.

Answer 7

First, keep your medicines hidden from children preferably in a place they can't reach. Next, check your daughter for any signs of cuts that are recent and deliberate. If nothing else, take your daughter to the clinic for a routine checkup. It could be nothing serious but just an accident.

Answer 8

You had better check you daughters body for cut marks.
Tell her what you found. Tell her that you both have each other & need to be there for each other. Ask her what she thinks will make things go better between you. Tell her how hard it is for you.

As for her room it's her room, but ask what you can do to help her get & keep it neater.

You have to assure your daughter that you love her & need her help with things. It's important to be as calm as you can about all of this.

I would say lots of hugs are needed.

The relationship between you & you daughter is in bad shape & you both need help in getting it back on track.

Answer 9

she has a lot of pressure on her by not having another parent. She is being influenced by people at school that life sucks. I did this also, because I was being molested and I actually listened to people back then. It's her friends. You need to talk with her and tell her that she shouldn't follow she needs to lead, and don't listen to other people. Tell her you need her help to get through this.

Answer 10

How old is your daughter? It sounds like she might be cutting herself. She could probably use a counselor. Also you should take your medication with you or lock it up.