hope you have not heard it ...
A successful Montana rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two men applied for the job, One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great, You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock, and no hired hand.
2006-12-07 01:43:46 · 24 answers · asked by Tabor 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her… "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said…. Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." … He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra."… again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said,
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
2006-12-07 01:45:10 · update #1
Great! Beautiful timing and presentation. Thanks for the laugh
2006-12-07 01:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 19⤊ 0⤋
Good one, here's one back. - A Cardinal of the Church dies and goes to Heaven. An angel is giving him the the grand tour and a soul goes by draped in gold trimmed pure white robe with cheribim throwing rose pedals in his path as he ascends the gold inlayed white marble steps to his massive white marble mansion. The Cardinal asks the angel who that is and the angel says, "Oh, he's a lawyer.". The Cardinal thinks, "Wow, if that is what a lawyer gets, I can imagine what I, a Cardinal of the Church, will get". They continue on the tour and enter a huge building with a 200 foot high arched enterance way and the hall equally as impressive stretches forever. After walking for miles down the hall they take a left into another hall with 100 ft. high ceilings and walk again, coming to another turn into a hall with 50 ft. ceilings. this goes on an on with each turn the hall becomes smaller and narrower until finally they are going down a hall so narrow they have to walk single file and duck into doorways to let others pass. They come to a rough hewn wooden door, the angel opens it and inside there is a small straw cot, a basin and pitcher and a small window that looks out over nothing special. The angel says, "This is where you will reside for eternity in Heaven.". The Cardinal is totally taken aback by this and blusters out, "I'm a Cardinal of the Church and THIS is all I get, why did the lawyer get so much?" The angel says, " Cardinals are a dime a dozen, he's the only lawyer we've got here.".
2006-12-07 02:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
super comedian tale for fri. morning and an remarkable thank you to initiate the weekend. extra suitable bypass homestead and patch up enormous Jim and the Twins. do no longer decide so which you would be able to be back next week telling us a comedian tale approximately your decrease than stellar weekend overall performance.
2016-10-14 05:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!! Brilliant 10/10
2006-12-07 01:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by SteveMcK 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 much 2 read
2006-12-07 02:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by lil' Jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol its vey nice
1- if u r alone i'll b ur shadow,if u want 2 cry i'll b ur shoulder,if u need 2 b happy i'll b ur smile,if u want money wait 4 salary....
2- UR 100% clever, U R 100% beautyfull, U R 100% smart and 100% stupid 2 believe all what's written above....
3- im Nobody, and Nobody is perfect...therefore im PERFECT
4- my heart is with U.. my soul is with U.. even i lost my mony.. and i think it's with U!
lol ................ thanks
2006-12-07 02:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by merg20056 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL..Excellent
Dr Bad
;-)
2006-12-07 05:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haa Haa.
Too good, ouch my mouth is hurting.
Keep up te good work.
2006-12-07 01:52:43 · answer #8 · answered by R2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...good one! supposed to be a morning joke. it's night here in Shanghai...made my night! haha
2006-12-07 03:13:02 · answer #9 · answered by sWeeT aSh® TReE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good one - u jus think she's asking for sommat else
hahahahahaha
2006-12-07 02:29:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like this joke when she was telling him to take her stuff off,i thought he was taking it off of her
2006-12-07 01:52:13 · answer #11 · answered by U DA FUCKKIN BEST 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋