My boyfriend seems to me to be acting very selfishly, he wants me to massage him, cook for him, and just plain be at his every beck and call, which I don't have a problem with, but when I want to do something like go to the masseuse or go to the hair salon I have to go on his schedule, needless to say I haven't been and I've made two appointments, I try to understand his busy schedule but is it me or is he just being plain selfish? Let me add we live together and I don't have a car so I depend on him to take me to the few places I need to go, work, to the store, doctor, etc. I rarely ask to go anywhere... Do I leave or do I stay with him? If I leave I will never try to be in a relationship with him again because I do not repeat or go backwards. I've known him my whole life we grew up together in the same neighborhood, but we've only been in a relationship for 4 months now.
Pls Help!
2006-12-07 01:29:55 · 20 answers · asked by Mamacita 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 25 and we live in a different state than any of my family, I have no one here and he does not like when I catch cabs or buses often but it is an option, well cabs are.
2006-12-07 03:00:04 · update #1
HE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT YOU DEPEND ON HIM! TRY TO DO SOME THINGS INDEPENDENTLY!!! ARE THERE ANY BUSES YOU COULD TAKE, OR COULD SOMEONE ELSE GIVE YOU A RIDE! SCARE HIM! DO IT WITHOUT TELLING HIM! SHOW HIM YOU HAVE A WILL AND A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!!!
2006-12-07 01:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by INC0GNIT0 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense meant, but it sounds like you may have jumped into moving in together a little too quickly. Even if you have known each other for your whole lives, you have only been together for 4 months. You don't really start to know someone until you've been together long enough for the walls to come down...and that doesn't happen in 4 months.
Have you talked to him about this? If not, go ahead and do that. Tell him that you think it is selfish of him that you have to completely plan your life around him, down to what you cook and when. If he isn't responsive, or is responsive but doesn't change, then leave him.
2006-12-07 01:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are giving this man all the benefits of a wife without the stability and assurance of a permanent relationship. In addition, he is treating you like one of his possessions rather than someone he values and cares for her welfare. Please think about why you are allowing this man to use you.
You haven't mentioned your age or if you have somewhere else, like family, to live. Leaving him does not mean you should not someday be in a relationship with him, but it seems like you *both* need to mature a little.
As for your travelling issue; you could, however, call a taxi or take public transportation if that is an option. Think creatively. Schedule your hair appointment after work and have him collect you there instead of at your job.
A deeper issue is this; why are you considering ending your relationship with him over this problem? In the general scheme of things, this is relatively minor. There are other, more urgent problems brewing between you two, for example, trust. Work on the underlaying problems and you may find that this more superficial difficulty resolves itself.
2006-12-07 01:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is being extremely selfish. You cater to his needs and it's only right that you expect him to be generous with his time in return, especially since you don't ask that much of him. While I can't tell you to leave him, you should realise that you're being taken advantage of. A relationship should never be one-sided, and yours definitely is. Your boyfriend should realise that all relationships are about give and take equally from both partners. Maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel about this. If there's no change, well then, do the right thing by you.
2006-12-07 01:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by foxiee_chic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is being selfish. Relationships is give and take on BOTH sides. And most men should realize that giving a woman what she needs will get them so much more than what they could even imagine. As for leaving or staying---any chance of a talk with him changing anything? If not, then leave. No one deserves to always be last in a relationship. Good luck.
2006-12-07 01:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do need to develop some independence whether you leave or stay. Your first issue seems to be transportation or else you'll still be depending on someone else to move out. This guy seems to have gotten use to the idea of life revolving around him. It could be that he'll be less selfish as time goes on, but I wouldn't put my own life on hold waiting for that to happen. He'll respect you more if you are able to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you described the lifestyle of a teenage child needing to seek permission to do anything for yourself. You seem to have alot of growing to do in order to be more self-sufficient. Don't complain about matters that you have the ability to change. Good Luck
2006-12-07 01:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Run away from the relationship he is just beginning with the controlling issues he will slowly keep you home and then the abuse will start , ( I know you don't see that happening right now ) but it will trust me get out when you have the chance and it is not that hard to do.
2006-12-07 01:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by bethan2028 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-05 00:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems he's trying to control you with him being your only access to travel. Of course, I haven't heard his side of it, but that's just what it seems like. If he has a job and life of his own, and you depend on his ability to drive, making allowances for that makes sense. But if he just wants you as a servant, I would be very careful about it. I had a roommate like this once and living with her was hell.
2006-12-07 01:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's a little selfish but don't rush into breaking up ... just talk to him tell him how you feel and thats how relationship work by communicating... and if he don't change he will never change it's up to you if you want to put up with it
2006-12-07 01:33:22 · answer #10 · answered by Casey A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋