How can i stop this?

Question

I work with this asian man who works at my school (both teachers). He's new and the first time i met him was on a field trip. He tried kissing me but i told him I can't because im married... but that only made him want me even more! He invited a few teachers to his house for dinner but when everyone else left it was just me and him. We were sitting down and started kissing me and unbuttoning my shirt. When I said i was married he took my ring off my finger. I've been sleeping with him for the past month and i want it to end now. At work, he'll fondle me when nobody is looking or when we're in a group he'll whisper in my ear "I want to f*ck you" and then act TOTALLY normal. I've told him i want it to stop and i love my husband and he said "He's a really lucky guy... I wish i was your husband so I could f*ck you all day" I dont knw what to do anymore. I dont want to report him I just want it to end. We almost got caught at work a few times and he plays it off as nothing.

he's 26 and im 28

Answer 1

Tell him one final time that you want to end it and it was a mistake for you to have an affair. Don't make him feel that HE was a mistake or he may turn on you. Make him feel good about himself...but not too good that he can't let you go. Make SURE that you are NEVER alone with him. If he tried kissing you on your first meeting, that should've send red flags for you. As a married woman, I don't understand why you were at his house alone after dinner AFTER he already tried kissing you. Try to not put yourself in that situation ever again with any man. There may be more to the story but this is my opinion based on your question.

Answer 2

I have to agree with Buldawg. If you love your husband you would not be doing such things with a co-worker or anyone for that matter.

You should simply tell the co-worker that you are no longer interrested in a sex relationship. A loving relationship where there is kindness and caring is 100 times more valuable than one that only involves sex. It is true that sex happens because of love and that it is a direct result of love, but sex without love is empty.

This man at work is not being kind to you by using you for sex and making attempts to make you look bad infront of others by fondling you in a group. (That is what that is you know--a way to make you look bad. You only think that no one else has noticed the fondling. Someone who loves you would not do that.) It is cruelty for someone to come up to you and say "I want to f*ck you", instead what you should be hearing is "I love you and you mean something to me". If you are not hearing any of those things, then the other person is simply using you.

Many times men want to make themselves feel powerful by making you do something you don't want to do. The more times you say no and then allow this person to get away with the embarassment of the fondling and submitting to unwanted sex, the more times you give him power and make him feel good. This person sounds like he is doing just that to you. Stand up and do what ever it takes to make this stop, even if it means never returning to that work place again. You deserve better.

Try not to feel badly about this incident. Sometimes people look for love in the wrong places and it does not make you a bad person to have been foolish. You have lived and learned and will be more aware in the future.

Answer 3

You know you cause this to your self! You should of never slept with this guy in the first place. Your married girl! You have to come clean with your husband before some else finds out and tells him. Maybe you guys could try to make things work if he doesn't divorse you. As for this other guy, he doesn't respect you because if he did he would of leave you alone as soon that you told him you was married. Now to break it up with him you have to be carefull how you are going to do it Becuase you don't know what his reaction might be when you tell him you don't want anything to do with him. Ignore him and see if that works.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

First off, shame on your for cheating on your husband. Second, shame on this other guy for being turned on by the fact that you're married.

You obviously wanted it just as much as this guy, or you would have never let yourself be alone in the home with a guy that you KNEW wanted to have sex with you. You never would have let him kiss you, and you would have never let him unbutton your blouse and take it any further.

If you REALLY want it to end, the next time he tried fondling you, grab his nuts tight in your hand, and look him directly in the eyes. With a stern voice, tell him (while looking dead into his eyes) that you want this to stop. Then tell him that you're not going to accept his fondling of your body anymore. Then let his nuts go and walk off.

Chances are that you really DON'T want it to end. You are probably just scared of being caught, because if you REALLY wanted this to end, first off it would have never started, and second, you would have ended it the SECOND you wanted it to with no problem.

I feel sorry for your husband

Answer 5

OK well first of all you need to tell your husband yeah i know that may be hard but he needs to know if he dont already. but i think you could have stopped him if you really loved your husband if you knew he had tried to make a move on you on the field trip then you should have knew better then to go to his house and if you didn't want the other teachers to know then you should have made up some reason to why you couldn't go and if you went anyways you should have left when everyone else did you knew it would lead to this so it you who placed this on yourself

Answer 6

You went from telling him "you can't because your married" to sleeping with him, in the same paragraph. What did you sleep with him for?? What were you thinking at the time? Now you have a stalker on your hands. Time to BE FIRM, (you sound like the type that gives in to things before you think them through), and tell him to GO. You don't have much ground to stand on, YOU are the married one, and you'll BOTH be fired if you report him, probably. Just say it and mean it the first time and he might leave you alone.

Answer 7

U ASKED FOR IT. Y DID U OPEN UR LEGS IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT SEEMS LIKE HE HAS HAD CONTROL OVER U FROM THE MOMENT U ALLOWED HIM 2 REMOVE UR WEDDING RING. U NEED 2 STAY FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS POSSIBLE IF U WANT IT 2 END. IF U KEEP GIVING IT UP 2 HIM, THAT SAYS 2 HIM SHE STILL WANTS 2 F**K. U PUT THIS ALL ON YOUR SELF. MAYBE U SHOULD FIND A NEW JOB. GOOD LUCK. I FEEL VERY BAD FOR YOUR HUSBAND.

Answer 8

wow!!!!

Any man that would do this obviously has no respect for anyones marriage. the fact that he hit on you in the first place when he knew you were married tells you what kind of person he is. he is nopt a good man at all. i cant stand guys like that.

as for you, you dont deserve your husband. you need to tell him and let him make the decision whether or not to keep you.

Answer 9

Try ignoring him, maybe he'll go away. Kind of like a mother's advice about handling a bully. Or try the opposite approach: Come on strong, talk about leaving your husband and marrying your co-worker, the wonderful life you'll have together, kids, picket fence, all of it. Scare him the f*** away!
Then go see a lawyer about your impending divorce.

Answer 10

He apparently saw you as to weak to keep your wedding vows and attacked. To allow someone to remove your ring or your clothing signifies that you really do want this person. You allowed yourself to be put in a position of just the two of you alone and that is a recipe for disaster.