Is having kids worth it?

Question

After my brother told me I can't be around his daughters, I was thinking what if I have a daughter. I can teach her how to be a lady and how to dress pretty and not ugly like those tomboys. Is it worth it though, I don't wanna ruin my figure or get stretch marks, i'd die if that happened.

Answer 1

first of all, if the only reason you are wanting a kid is to dress it pretty, no it's not. it's not fair to the child. and what if you have a boy instead of a girl? still gonna dress it pretty? and i have a 10yr old daughter who dresses like a tomboy and i think she's the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth, at least i know she's being true to herself and not following what everyone else thinks is "pretty". I have stretch marks, and i no longer have the totally flat belly i had before, but my husband thinks my body is more beautiful this way. he says i no longer look like a little girl, but a woman. besides, there is such a thing as exercise. you don't need a kid if you are so worried about ruining your cute little girl body. i think all of my children were worth every stretch mark on my stomach.

Answer 2

Okay, there are obviously things going on in your life and mind that need to be worked on.

1) Why doesn't your brother want you around his daughters? That is not something announced lightly and suggests that somehow you are impacting the girls and/or the family to the point where you have become persona non grata.

2) Why do you make no mention of their mother? Is it because you are trying to force YOUR beliefs on how the girls should be brave.

3) You obviously have an extreme superficial attitude regarding how girls and women might dress; not to mention not wanting 'ruin' your figure or 'get stress marks'.

4) Girls who are allowed to be 'tomboys' have been proven to have great success in their lives (including motherhood). Being restricted to old-fashion ideals of 'being a lady' do not compare to being a woman, young woman, etc. For example, women, particularly tomboys (past or present), will likely play in sports. Now that High Schools and colleges are making more female teams. This gives young women a chance for a sport scholarship.

Not to mention that women's soccer has a much higher ratio of wins in things like the Women's World Cup soccer, even winning the event, whereas the men's team are lucky to get through the first round matches. Women's basketball has become big in colleges too, with them winning more matches and award than their male counterparts.

5) Being allowed to break the traditional 'being a lady' has enabled girls to do better in science and math that they have in the past. The do better in most subject, but math and science are the big ones. Why? Because they are bold enough to force the teacher to pay equal if not more attention to them. Studies that have been made show that teachers generally tend/tended to give more attention to the males students to the point where some reports made after these studies suggested sending girls to an all girls school, or the less expensive idea of having boys and girls being taught academic subjects separately in public schools.

You have a lot to learn. I'd suggest figuring out why physical appearance is your primary subject to observing the rest of the world and your own future.

Answer 3

Why can't you be around your brother's daughters? If you think a girl is just a play doll to dress up and teach to be snotty, you are all wrong for parenting right now. Find an organization in your area that helps single parents and families with low income and see what you can do to help out. Like get a family with girls and buy them some nice clothes, something practical and nice. It sounds like you have some maturing to do before you make a decision on having kids or not. I feel my kids are a blessing and it is worth it all! Wait for a while before you make that decision. You are currently wanting a child for all the wrong reasons.

Answer 4

completely worth it. in case you initiate questioning about college in the previous you even conceive, then you actually're basically borrowing concerns. in case you initiate questioning about the perfect price, notwithstanding, you're basically borrowing concerns. What you want in case you want little ones, is a guy who needs a similar element, the way you want it to boot. it really is the first and maximum needed step in having a family individuals. Marry that guy, THEN initiate your household. It takes 2 human beings, giving 100% each for a family individuals AND marriage to be optimal. in case you value one yet another and your courting, no longer something will be ruined. it is going to substitute and mature, your aims and priorities will amplify or substitute or shrink in some parts, yet that's life. in certain situations, you should hit a tricky patch and want counseling. No vast whoop both. imagine of it at the same time as your automobile breaks down and also you want a mechanic. no longer something incorrect with calling an expert to get again heading in the right direction back. And romance can purely keep up a lot. faster or later, there must be a fact examine. no longer that romance isn't marvelous on social gathering, yet heavily, being a soulmate with someone and really understanding there center and havign them comprehend yours, is so a lot extra valuable. once you've that, you've really were given all of it.

Answer 5

HAHAHA! You are funny! Stretch marks are part and parcel of having a baby,but you belong to an age where everything can be remedied. There are plenty of magic creams to get rid of em.Now,as far as your figure is concerned? Have you seen those models who have several babies and maintained explosive figures. GYM,baby! You have to do a lot of exercises and with or without a baby you will still need it for your self-esteem.

Now for the business at hand. A baby is the best gift that a woman can ever have. I cannot express to you how it feels to have a baby of your own. It's priceless.The act of getting pregnant alone ,with aches and pains, is something that you will appreciate well when you age.

A baby will cure all your depressions,heartaches and pains. What's the best way to hear ,coming from a stressful job, than a baby's laughter. We can go on and on about the upsides of having a baby but let me ask you? Do you have a husband?LOL

Answer 6

I think you have alot of growing up to do and stop being so self centered. With this attitude you could not nurture a child the way they need to be nurtured.. Playing dress up is not real life.. there is so much more that you have to sacrifice for children and give up.. But you have to be willing to do it... This includes your figure and maybe even stretch marks.. If you are so vain, then at this point I wouldn't have kids... You need to change your attitudes about alot of things and quit being so self absorbed...

Answer 7

Lots of woman have children and do not get stretch marks and get a better figures after they have had children.

However remember if you do decide to have children and you have a girl, she is not a doll, she is a human being. Also if you have a baby and its a boy and you going to love it less, because he is a boy and not a girl, if that is the case then you definitely shouldn't have a baby.

Answer 8

You would be missing the greatest joy of life. Who cares if you got stretch marks. They are scars that I wear proud. I can't imagine my life without my children. I am very proud of them all. So yes is such an honor to hold. I love children. Feeling as you do right now no you should wait. You are not ready for children yet. Someday you will want children. And please don't ever call a child ugly. That is dishonorable and hurtful to all who hear am sure. Have you ever heard an adult as a child call you names like that? That is something they will never get over. Nor will your brother get over it.

Answer 9

Please dont decide to have a child just to show somone up.

pregnancy is so long (10 months) and you will have a good chance of getting strech marks.
Also, i dont think your wanting to tell your child that you went through a hard, long, gross, labour just to give birth to a child that isnt going to be able to choose its own identity, will you?
Also, i baby costs so much money and isnt easy to take care of, i have a baby on the way 23 weeks and i had a prefect body (thin and beautiful) and i have strech marks on my boobs cause they've gotten so big (not such a good thing afer all). . .just think first, eh!

Answer 10

Why would your brother keep you from his daughters? Based on your question, I would tell you to not have kids. You don't sound ready for the reality of motherhood...diapers, feeding, discipline, etc. There's more to life than being pretty.