My son's father and I live in seperate states and have been seperated due to his incarceration. Before he got out he told me that he wanted to have sex with women before he could commit and since I don't live nearby he could'nt have relations with me until he got enough money to send for us to visit and to work on a relationship with our son then myself. He called everyday to speak with us when he got a cell phone and we had made plans to visit for the holidays. But he started talking to another women and had sex with once and she trapped him with "I'm pregnant" 2 months later. He got arrested for a violation he couldn't have done since he was locked up at the time and she bonded him out, he lost his apt. and now he's shacked up with her in a motel in Virginia Beach when she has a home. She's using her money to control him and he said he's using her for it. he always says he loves me and he don't love her but he's with her till he can get on his feet. What the hell am I supposed to do?
2006-12-07 00:29:48 · 12 answers · asked by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, my thoughts on this situation, seems to me, your son's father is getting the best of both worlds. Meaning, he should have had better self control, and made plans to get to you, instead he reached out to another, What kind of love and committment is this? You seen to be an intelligent woman, who is blinded by love, but dear, you need to think without putting your emotions first, Sadly he has made his mistakes with the legal systems, he is with this woman, do you really believe he is not having sex with her, for her money, do you really believe he is merely using her, when he lost his apartment, why didnt he contact you, and you could of helped him to get to you? There is no amount of money, that could make someone, who truly loves someone else, accept this, firstly, above statement still standing,if he loved you so much, why have sex with someone else. Do you think this is his first time? It sounds like a player plea to me, If I was you, I would move on with my life, and meet someone new, and let him stay and deal with his decision. Often times, women are so naive, when it comes to lies, and deceit, you need to put that fantasy aside, and see the reality, he is playing you both, maybe her for her money, but there are some feeling there..No one goes to the length, he has gone without any feeling for this woman. I dont think you know everything, think on it for a second, if he can get money from her so easily, why not get enough where he can come to you? why take the money, and still remain with her, calling you with more excuses....OPEN YOUR EYES!!! this is game. Surely, he will say what he has too, to hold on to you too, keeping you from seeking someone who will treat and love you, the way you want and need to feel love.. He is playing you both..
2006-12-07 00:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by ladymaryum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Classy. Anyway, no don't give the child his last name because it'll complicate things later on. If you do get back together and get married THEN you can change the childs last name to his. BUT personally I cannot believe anyone would want this guy, much less have two adult women fighting over him and jealous of each other. I mean really, he's a felon, he's been jobless for 4 years and he obviously has no loyalty or respect for you or your unborn son. Its not about the other lady. If he wanted to be with you he would be with you. He's making up excuses. Yes, I'm sure she's tough to deal with but this is about you, your son and your sons dad, not her. I would just move on. Do the single mom thing, find him a new dad, adopt out. Regardless of what you choose anything is better than having the dead weight of this jerk around hanging around you. Besides, a father should be a role model, not a loser like this fool.
2016-05-23 03:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, He is no good. He can control all this. It seems she is his right now. While there is no doubt in my mind that he may love you and his son. He is with this other women and that's a kind of love you don't want nor do you need. Do yourself and your son a favor and find yourself a man that will love you both in a health productive way. You and your son deserve more then this man will ever give you. Good Luck to you and your soon and Happy Holidays.
2006-12-07 00:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by Issym 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey see it for what it is he keeping you on the string. I would right a letter to the women tell her Your pregnant by him.
Tell her that when ever he work or if he marries her They will be financially responsible for your baby. till age 18 .
I would also contact the Virgina beach police dept just in case the don't know where he is.
Now is the time to take care of that baby.
Here is a web site to consider.below
2006-12-07 00:48:55 · answer #4 · answered by dianehaggart 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not a trap if you put yourself into it voluntarily. Face it: he's having sex, regularly, with another woman. Besides that, he's been in and out of jail, and he has no money. How desperate are you that this is the best you can do for a relationship?
2006-12-07 00:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is move on. This is clearly a poor influence for your son and if you continue a relationship with him you will be teaching your son that it is ok to treat women like whores and bank accounts. He won't understand that what his father is doing isn't ok.
2006-12-07 00:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by Lori D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write him off as a potential significant other. Permanently.
Hold his feet to the fire on support obligations, though.
You deserve better than this putz. There are plenty of guys out there whose only view of jail has been while watching TV. Find one with a good heart who will love you and your son.
2006-12-07 00:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you put yourself in a position to even worry about that nut job. Find a new man unless your esteem is that low. Even if he's the father of your kid, he's clearly a bad influence. Come on.
2006-12-07 00:54:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him hes no good...if he wanted to be with u and waiting until he gets enough money to come to u then he would take that womans money and come to u since he says hes using her for her money.
2006-12-07 00:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly think he loves you and not the other women you can always move him to where you live , but to me it sounds like he is playing games and does not know what to do with the rest of his life. You might need to relies he might be in and out of jail his whole life.
2006-12-07 00:35:11 · answer #10 · answered by bethan2028 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋