What in your mind constitues neglect of a child?

Question

The reason I ask this is that My son whos 9 has been having some emotional and behaviour difficulties. he also has quite low self esteem desp[ite loads of support and encouragement at home. I asked for help with his difficult at times behaviour and we have been seeing a family support worker. As she was leaving last weel my sons bedroom door was open n she could see that as well as he had not tidied his room he had knockred the sheet off his bed and his duvet covet was in the laundry. according to her this is neglect! my son ishealthy loved and cared for! is she talking out her ****?

oh I'm telling the full story. And I wasnt accused exactly but she was implying that she thought it might be considered negflectful .

Answer 1

you should take care of their basic needs like food, clothing, sleep and cleanliness, love and encouragement. as long as a child has most of these your fine...hell no would i tidy up a 9 year olds bedroom they're old enough to do most of it themselves. there's taking care and molly coddling does this "social worker" have children?

i swear my midwife when i was delivering had forgotten what it was like to give birth or she'd adopted hers cause she was a cow! some people in authority just go overboard on assumption

Answer 2

Not caring for them, not meeting their needs – feeding, clothing and providing shelter cuddling them and being there for them. I suppose making a child unhappy because childhood is the age of innocence and happiness. That’s the very least you owe a child for all the joy they bring to your life by just being themselves.

If you are asking to have a legal perspective, I am not sure but I think some of this might be relevant.

I suppose what the worker meant was that your child's bedroom looked untidy and probably felt it was inappropriate in terms of good hyiene because she was not aware of the details. Why not make sure that the next time the worker is coming round, the bedroom is kept tidy - sheets on the bed etc.

I don't think you should bother yourself too much about the comment.

Answer 3

I hardly see that as neglect. At least your child has a bed, and his own room. As long as things are clean, and not dirty, it's not a health hazard. But if there are things lying around all over the room where it's hard for him to get around, that would be a danger to your child physically. Also, maybe the condition of his room contributes to his well-being. You know how you feel better when the house is tidied, as opposed to it being a mess? Maybe she was concerned about that. Sometimes when things are a mess it can affect your mood.

Answer 4

Well, not putting clean sheets on his bed straight away hardly counts as neglect. Surely this support worker must have had more reason to accuse you of neglect than that? I sense you are not giving the full story here.

*edit* - ok, if that is all there is to it, it sounds like this woman is having trouble knowing where to draw a line in her job. Still, for your son's emotional wellbeing's sake, especially as he has emotional behavioural problems, it might be worth investing a bit of time and effort into getting his room in order. You never know, it might help him to have some sense of order in there, and give him a space he can be proud of.

Answer 5

Depends how you define "child". Upto a certain age children are totally dependent on others for all their needs. Consequently neglect covers a wide range. As they mature they develop some independence and their needs are less.
It sounds a bit like there is a specific issue you want to ask about.

From your additional comment:
Did she think you were being negligent or him for not keeping his own room tidy? If she meant you then she's probably one of the PC brigade.

Answer 6

To neglect a child would be to deprive the child of anything he or she needs to live a healthy, happy life. That would mean to not give the child any:
love
attention
food
fun time
learning time
more love
hugs
kisses
praises
proper discipline

and so forth and so on.

Neglect also comes in other forms that we commonly hear about -- physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse--- all forms of neglect.

Answer 7

I don't think washing a duvet cover constitutes neglect.
It sounds like this person was way out of line, but you have to bear in mind they do a difficult job and have a big responsibility to spot genuine cases of neglect.

Answer 8

Your son made the mess.
If you feed clothe, and do not leave alone and unattended, you are not being neglectful.

Personally I know how those case worker goody goody Bi*ches work.
I would do all I could to get away from her and her ilk!

Charles "That cheeky Lad"
P.S. In uni my second was in sociology, I have personal knowledge of how evil those "helpers" can be.
I am currently on my second Master's, this one psychology. I think those aid types are an invasion of privacy and are trained to be evil incarnate.

Answer 9

I don't think that constitutes neglect but I wasn't there. Child protective services doesn't help the children that really need protecting and sometimes they end up dead because of that. Your son is not in an danger from the mess in his room.

Answer 10

lets see my mother is neglectful ill just describe her....

Not cooking dinner for younger kids
Finding her boyfriends more important then her kids
Not packing lunches for her kids or buying groceries regularly
never playing with her kids
always to busy doing other things then to spend them with her kids
going to the bar and bringing the bar home for a party when its a school night and her kids are there
Not buying school supplies for her kids.

now for my brother:
He had a bedwetting problem, she never bothered to change his sheets or address the issue
Lets him fail all his classes doesnt bother to do homework
He was so drunk and she insisted work was more important and was going to let him run wild in the streets and he was so drunk he had peed himself and could have passed out anywhere.(hes 14)
Not caring about birthdays
just orders and demands things from him.
Lets uncle live there who smokes pot all day long every day in the house.
Would rather kick him out then deal with his issues.
instead of grouding him lets him hang out with his pot smoking friends even though hes been suspended with them twice from school so she can go do her social thing.

Shes a horrible parent....but at least I have a manual of what not to be.