My wife's dog is scared of and bites me.?

Question

My wifes dog (cocker spaniel) is afraid of me. We have 3 dogs and I admit I am stern with all of them, but the other two are excellent with it. her dog won't listen to me, pees when I get close, and nips at me and has even attacked my hand before. He just hit a year old when this started to happen. I can't stop being stern, because I am afraid my other dogs will try to take over (they are both breeds that require an alpha or they see themselves as such). Also, the cocker gets aggressive when all the dogs play together and has drawn blood from one of the others (he is fine, just a little nip) and it concerns me. My wife and I are trying to have a baby as well, and I am very concerned about her dog and a new baby. She 'babies' her dog and I am afraid of jealousy issues.

I grew up around dogs, and have dealt with a biting dog. We had to get rid of him, just wouldn't stop no matter what we tried. (we gave him to my aunt, and even to his last days he tried to bite me)
Any answers?

I've gotten a few answers that say he's being dominant. I don't think that is the case. He acts deathly afraid of me. I don't beat him, but I am stern with my dogs when they act out. I've tried to be gentler with him, but he won't listen to me, won't respond to my commands and when I approach him he hunkers down or runs and sometime pees himself.

Answer 1

I can't say it any better than Robin D did......

Answer 2

Clearly you are frightening the dog and your "sterness" is only making the problem worse. Some dogs are sensitive to loud noises and manhandling. The fact that he bites you indicates to me that he is afraid you will hurt him. Have you hit the dog before?

You need to realize that some dogs need one kind of handling, others need another kind. You are an adult and you CAN stop being such an overbearing jerk (in the dog's opinion). It is OK to behave one way towards one dog and another towards other dogs. Do you act like a jerk to every human you see? No. If you are decent at all, you treat people who are scared gently and kindly. Why should the dog be different?

You do not need to be brutal to have discipline. I discipline my dogs by insisting that they mind what I want. Get off the couch. Come here. Sit. Yes I WILL Brush your hair. I do this without ever being loud pushy or hitting the dogs. I have five. They are all reasonably well behaved.

If I can do it, you can too.

Start by changing your interactions with the scared dog. Take your other dogs out of the room. Begin by bribery, tossing the dog treats from afar as you sit on the couch. Don't be aggressive, don't make eye contact. Just toss the treats (Tiny treats, but extra good ones, like hot dog or chicken or liver treats. You don't need to blimp the dog up by giving great big bites.) As the dog begins to associate you with yummy stuff, gradually toll him in closer. Eventually he should be able to take a gently offered treat from your hand. Later still you should be able to touch the side of his face or the collar. This may take a long time, days or weeks. But keep at it until you "redeem yourself" in the dog's eyes.

Once he is calmer around you and you can handle him, begin doing basic obedience, using ONLY positive reinforcement. Sit, treat. Down, treat. etc. NEVER raise your voice. Never loom over the dog, NEVER NEVER NEVER use physical punishment or restraints.

Using positive reinforcement is not babying a dog. It is the accepted way to train these days. Cesar Milan and others who advocate old school techniques like dominance based rituals and physical manhandling or no longer considered ethical trainers.

Finally, Get a book called, How to Right a Dog Gone Wrong: A Road Map for Rehabilitating Aggressive Dogs by Pamela S. Dennison. It is a great book on how to deal with this sort of problem.

Just remember the dog's behavior is entirely dependent upon YOUR ability to control YOURSELF. You're the adult here. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Cocker spaniels are known to be an aggressive breed. This will not stop any time soon. I have tried the alpha with my sisters Spaniel but nothing seems to work. Their dog is also aggressive toward them. His eyes will glow red when he swings into aggressive mode. Other times he is great. I too have had dogs for years and find this one a challenge. Now when i see him i just ignore him and carry about ny business, this has worked so far for me. When my dogs were around him they put him in his place and were fine. Good luck.

Answer 4

I agree with Robin and I'd just like to add - it's time for you to observe your dog closely. Dogs will tell you when they are feeling uncomfortable - turning away from you, licking their lips and yawning. It is also much too confrontational to stare a dot in the face and eyes, especially in the guise of "being alpha" or "being stern". Please, give up on "being stern" - it is obviously not working and has created a fearful dog who will continue to lash out at you if things don't change.
Time for a behavior consultant to meet with both you and your wife - consistency is key here and you must both agree to start a different way of working with your dog, especially before having a baby!
Links below for some info. Good luck.

Answer 5

It sounds like a few things are going on with this dog...

One...you may be to harsh on this dog for it's personality. I have very "soft dogs" and all I have to do is say no and it sends them running.... You may need to change the way you treat this dog, because some dogs do not need you to be very stern with them.

Also, make sure he is not starting to see himself as the alpha dog. This does NOT mean alpha roll him, choke him, etc. This simply means that you do things first, and he has to do something to get something. He wants to eat? Make him sit...He wants attention? Make him lay down...etc.

If she is "babying" the dog when he does these behaviors, she is enforcing them. She needs to change the way she deals with him as well, if you truely want to see some behavior modification. Consistancy, patience, and positive reinforcement are key.

http://www.libertydogtraining.com

Answer 6

AS Ceaser Milan (The Dog Whisperer) says its not the dog that needs training its his people. If you have not watched his program before do it now. He deals a lot with so called aggressive dogs. Your wife is to blame for his behavior. She is letting him be the leader of the pack and so are you if you back down when he gets nasty with you. Leaders don't back down. A dominate dog will not follow a weak leader, show him your not afraid and you won't back down. The first thing you have to do to show your in control is walk him. Make him stay next to you or behind , keep the collar at the top of the neck and if he tries to go in front of you give him a little jerk to the side to knock him of balance. He should fall in line pretty quick. But it is a had thing to explain correctly in a post . I would RUN out and get the dvd of the dog whisperer 's first season. You will be AMAZED. I still am when I watch it.

Answer 7

She's got to stop baby-ing that dog. While they can be like children, dogs have a different set of rules. I'm almost positive the dog is reacting out of a good parent/bad parent schism caused by this baby-ing. Does she baby the other dogs?

You seem knowledgeable about dogs, perhaps you can explain to your wife that the baby-ing is causing him to become jealous and protective of her. He is perceiving her as his property and you as someone that is threatening it. This protectiveness and jealousy will most definitely pass on to his relationship to a new born child. That is, anyone that gets too close to your wife or takes up her attention will be in danger.

Hope this information is helpful.

Answer 8

Behavior issues indeed, and if obedience training doesn't work, you may end up having to get rid of this dog too.

Perhaps you can locate a specialist for this kind of thing. But I don't see much happening in the way of change unless your wife takes a hand in correcting this dog.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Do not bite the dog back.
A ghost?? WTF?
DO NOT GET RID OF THE DOG JUST BECAUSE OF THIS!

It's rather simple.This one probably is or wants to be the alphamale and sees you as a threat to his woman. You need to talk to your wife about this and let her know that it (honestly) is her fault he bites and is only going to worsen if she continues this. Dogs mustn't be babied.

Ignore him, both of you. Make him work for your attention and give it only when you feel that he deserves it (whining and jumping up for attention aren't good and should also be ignored) which would be when he is calm and pretty much "gives up." This gives you power. Let him know that he isn't important if he isn't going to work for or atleast with you.

Also, be sure that he is on his best behavior (completely calm) before he gets his food.

Answer 10

I'm sorry.i don't like those dogs one bit my daughter in the face when she was little.you probley don't here about these dogs biting people .because there small dogs .but i have heard of them bitting people.my daughter is 17 now and still has the marks on her face.the lady who was my friend never told us it bit her kids befor.my daughter went to hug this dog and thats when it bit her.you have every reason to worry.good luck to you.

Answer 11

Cocker trait.