I have been diaognised with having bipolar for 3 yrs now..I am on cirplexa and it seems to be working but if I have a bad day and am not myself...he says I think up sh*t cause I have to much time on my hands..I take care of our home and his needs as well..He works away from home but i do manage well..I just get the odd trigger and end up crying and he figures it's me..I am having some troubles trying to get my daughter to leave an abusive home...and now I am raising her 3 yr son with his other grama on a weekly bases...Please if you have info on how to get him to understand that I 'm not thinkng up sh* t...it 's that i'm having a bad bipolar day..
2006-12-06 23:23:14 · 15 answers · asked by char bear 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Maybe he needs to speak to your doctor personally to understand what you have to go through on a daily basis. Actually there is a lot of info on the internet. Show him these and tell him it is important to understand what you have to go through and that you don't have any control over your moods but medication helps. I hope he will be a good husband and at least try to understand that having this kind of attutude only makes it worse for your disease!.
http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/Bipolar.htm
http://www.bipolar.com/facts_and_myths.html
http://bipolar.about.com/od/howfamilycanhelp/How_Family_Members_Can_Help.htm
http://bipolar.about.com/cs/experience/a/sfe_family_fwd.htm
I have an aunt who is bipolar so I know a little more from her experiences...also, it is not good to be stuck in the house everyday, whether you have bipolar or not...everyone needs time for an activity they enjoy....do you have anything like that to get you away from a stressful day? Good luck!!
2006-12-06 23:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by ~MEEEOW~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Char - I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you're going through a lot and I hope things smooth out soon.
I've been diagnosed as bipolar and my family has similar views on mental illness, where they don't understand the severity in how it impacts my life and are therefore non-supportive.
What I've learned in dealing with my illness is that you'll need strength to deal with it and some of that strength you have shown already. The other sources of strength can be support from different people. If it can't be from your house (husband), I would suggest trying support groups.
Through my experience, I was able to establish a strong support network outside my family. Eventually, I gathered enough support to where I didn't need to lean on them. Over time, as I've gotten stronger and my illness was better managed, I was able to educate them properly on what I was going through and eventually brought them to understand.
I think you're managing yourself well and doing the right thing. You may find some resolve in going to a support group and talking to other people in your position and ask them specifically how they dealt with their spouses/family and ways to get them involved in your support group as well.
Here are some good places to start;
http://www.dbsalliance.org
http://www.smartrecovery.org
Good luck and I wish you the best.
2006-12-07 01:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by Altruist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to hear it from a third party, preferrably an authority on the subject. Having him speak with the doctor who diagnosed and treats your disorder, would be best.
He can also read up on the subject to help him understand that this is very real. Scroll down a bit and you will see a list of brochures and publications about bipolar disorder:
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_publications
Take care. You're doing great.
2006-12-07 00:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you that you don't have support from him, when he should be more understanding. I made my fiance go with me to a couple therapy sessions, and also to a visit with my psychiatrist, so they could try to explain it to him better than I could. He seemed to come away with a better understanding of my mood swings and the ups and downs of the disorder. Maybe if you sit down and really talk to him about how he is making you feel, and explain to him what happens when you are on the downside on bi-polar (and I think that may be what it is...it happens to me when I am feeling overstressed, especially this time of year), he might be a little more understanding. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-07 00:25:33 · answer #4 · answered by stacijo531 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young lady I know exactly what you mean. My wife REFUSES to understand and PURPOSELY creates all the trigger situations.
My wife says the same thing as your husband and tells me often that I can control this disorder but yet got angry with me when I suggested then her father could control his prostate cancer. I feel for you because that is a daily part of my life too. She has pushed me to the edge, I'm resisting, but I don't for how much longer I can do it. Hopefully it will get better for you.
2006-12-07 03:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by nbr660 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you suggestion he have a chat with his family doctor about your diagnosis? There are a lot of good books on this topic he can read. If he refuses then it would be important that you get support for yourself in your community either in a group or with a therapist. Sounds like your daughter could use the same kind of help. Good luck!
Nicholas
2006-12-07 08:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by nicholas b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound very understanding and it sounds like your under a major stress.
Do the research for him, print out the information he needs to understand what your going through.
There are many web sights that have the medical side of bipolar, maybe that would help him.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-06 23:31:02 · answer #7 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything I was going to say has already been said by the other respondants.
Take their advice and run with it :)
I suffer from severe post-natal depression, bordering on psychosis, and it's very hard to get my husband to understand what I'm going through, too, so I do understand your difficulties and frustration.
Nobody can truly understand anything like this unless they've been through it themselves, but compassion and empathy go a long way!
2006-12-07 00:16:53 · answer #8 · answered by Donna M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to understand that u have a disease. he needs to research it as well. It takes alot of controll to understand and know what to do when u have a breakdown. its already hard enough on you, so he has to understand and help u. I would understand him sometimes too. Hes only human nd hes going to snap out sometimes. i know because my brother has that problem too. But if he snaps out all the time, then he has a problem and need to controll himself, and be a little more sensitive to ur needs.
2006-12-06 23:36:14 · answer #9 · answered by gurllucky7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even bipolars have bad days. Sounds like your husband wouldn't be anymore understanding even if you weren't bipolar. You need some "me" time and less taking care of him time.
2006-12-06 23:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋