she has just had a baby and she is trying to do too much, looking after the baby, housework, shopping, going out on the town etc. and i want her to stop doing this because she isnt very well, often she thinks im trying to act like her dad and 'rule' over her, but all im trying to do is get her to understand that im only looking after her well being.
2006-12-06 23:12:06 · 16 answers · asked by Mappy~Jazz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can't. she's still a child, a teenager. she was not ready to have this baby. all you can do is help where she'll let you and wait for her to have some kind of breakdown so you can step up and take over and show her that she was doing too much.
2006-12-06 23:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She is acting like 18 and you are acting like 24. Didn't this occur to you before this? She has an enormous amount of responsibility and shes not ready to be a 30 year old woman even though that's whats being asked of her. The only thing you can do now is help her without being asked, take the night feeding, change and bathe the baby, pick up things at the store,
You can't make people older, time will take care of that.
What shes doing is what many women do all the time and get absolutely no credit for, I bet she never thought it would be so hard.
2006-12-06 23:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a great guy you sound like you are really genuinely concerned but you need to remember her age she is only 18 and has not got the same level of maturity as a 24 year old. Perhaps you should stop telling her what to do and start doing stuff for her and with her. Help out with the housework and baby, get a babysitter and take her out for time alone for you two. She sounds like she is coping brilliantly but as you say maybe she is trying to be wonder woman. Just help her with the physical work and remind her often of how proud you are of her. she will calm down eventually.
2006-12-06 23:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by . 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hearing it in sterio usually works, get her mates on board or someone u know she will listen to.
Also be patient she is young and has to learn these things for herself, her hormones are probably all over the place and it takes years to find a life balance with kids.
I still struggle now.
2006-12-06 23:36:11 · answer #4 · answered by sammyantha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried using those words or are you giving orders. There is a big difference between "Honey I wsh you would slow down and not try to do so much I am worried about you." and Just quit that already.
2006-12-06 23:17:25 · answer #5 · answered by Belinda 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know teens hun...they never listen...maybe she thinks she can cope but eventually this will come back on her and she will find herself in bed sick...so help her out with the baby more, if she wants to go shopping, go with her, your heart is in the right place and i understand your concern, but she thinks she can cope...just tell her to slow down a little bit because her baby needs her mum and she wont be any good if she gets sick...
2006-12-06 23:18:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.... age is irrelevant here... how do you think other women cope of all ages? You look after your kids, you do the housework, shopping and occassionally you go out.....
Sounds like you have the problem mate, not her. Perhaps its you that needs to grow up and get realistic and not her.
2006-12-06 23:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by Stripper 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"Action" is usually more effective than a "speech". So what i will suggest is, intead of keep telling her to not to do so much. Do her work for her! well, as soon as you do that, she will be doing less, and you can say to her" you dont have to do so much, i can do some for for you" or stuff like that.
tell her in a gentle way. sorry, its not tell her, is ask her. as a request. request her to do less, because she is not on her own.
good luck,
heartless
2006-12-07 00:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by heartless_916 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try sitting down and instead of telling her, ask her what you can do to help. Work on your communication with her. Be careful how you word things; words are frequently misunderstood, and it sounds like that's the real problem.
2006-12-06 23:15:45 · answer #9 · answered by grandm 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to help her is admirable and I congratulate you..... You should tell her that you will do all the shopping from now on as you are feeling left out and want to help..... Or take over the cooking..... Just do what you can but let her know that you are feeling left out and want to help...
2006-12-06 23:17:20 · answer #10 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋