Should i leave him?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years, i love him very much but im scared he only stays for our 2 children. He is always going out and im always stuck at home (im 22 and he is 29) he has cheated before and i dont trust him 100%. I dont want my kids to suffer if i leave him , they deserve to be happy, also if i leave him i know i will be on my own for the rest of my life, i cant decide?

Answer 1

You are 22?!?! If you leave him you'll be on your own for the rest of your life???? I doubt that! My husband died when I was only 32, and I"m certainly not alone now, 10 years later. How can you be only 22 and you've been together for 6 1/2 years..that means you started dating when you were 7 1/2??? You are not married to this guy? If you are unhappy, there's no time like the present to either work on saving the relationship through counseling and help, or for you to move on....if you split up, that doesn't mean the kids won't have their dad...just not living there with them, and if he's always gone anyway, they probably won't miss him so much as they'll notice you're happier..........at least you will be when you meet the real Mr Right! Good luck, honey, you are way way too young to be talking like that.....you have your entire life ahead of you.....time to start living it!!

Answer 2

My father was abusive, distant and neglectful, and when my mother left him (i was 7 or 8) i was still devestated.
Mom put us in the elementary schools support classes (therapy), which helped us accept divorce a little easier, and get over the idea of having been abused.
I was a little sore about being from a broken home for a while until i later realized how much happier my mom was without him. How happier the family is.
your kids will be sad if you leave your husband, but they will (with your help) eventually get better. Youre only 22, even with 2 kids, its seriously unlikely that you will be single forever.
If you dont trust him, if hes not giving you the attention you need, you need to confront him, if that just makes you even unhappier, than you know the decision you have to make.

Divorce is hard, breaking up is hard, i cant imagine what it would be like with children tossed into it. But the hard decisions are the ones that make us stronger. Its the hottest fire that forges the strongest sword, and dealing with things like this is exactly that, making the hard choice because you feel its right, and it will make you happier.

I'm sure no matter what you choice, it will be the best choice for both you AND your children.
Either way, good luck to you.

Answer 3

This is really hard. Youve probably already done this but the best way would be to first talk about it. Don't make this decision without first discussing your issues with him. Express exactly how you feel and give him the chance to make things right. Clearly its worth trying for considering how long you guys have been together for and the fact that you have children together. Although if you have already discussed your issues with him many times and he hasn't changed, then i really hate to say it but maybe its best for yourself to move on...if he knows already how you feel and still acts the way he does then its unlikely much will change. If things dont work out, remember you are still very young. You are probably thinking you will be alone for the rest of your life because you have two kids but this isn't true. You never know what could be around the corner and at your age there is much ahead in your life. The fact is, if he really loves you, he will do his best to keep you. Good luck

Answer 4

If you are not happy the kids won't be happy either.They need to grow in a healthy environment and watching their parents making good decisions.If you are not happy with your man then leave him and get an education and make a better life for your self. Many women do these things with out living in bad situations.If you want to make a go of your marriage then speak up and demand counseling.If he says no then you go and find out what help you can receive in building your life.You can do it and you must learn that your happiness is just as important and never allow your self to be in a situation where you have no control over you.Make decisions that are really best for you and the kids.

Answer 5

Sorry but it is a proven fact that staying in a relationship for the childrens sake does not work .You dont trust him and he sounds like he does'nt care you may be hurting your children more by staying in the long term .And you are still very young so some nice man will accept you now while your younger than when you get older that is the plain and simple truth take it or leave it your choice sweetheart .Personally I think you deserve better.

Answer 6

You should only stay with him if you truly love and trust him...
after he already cheated on you, and you obviously have forgiven him, if he continues this way, do you really think you're kids will be happier by staying with him, and watching mommy and daddy fight....I really don't think you should stay just for the kids, where there is love, peace and harmony a child will blossom. Try to build your confidence and you will see that you can have a happier life with your children and without a boyfriend who is still sowing his oats after fathering 2 children. I Wish you lots of luck and hope you make the right decision, for you and your children.
God Bless you and your children.

Answer 7

Very hard decision. It depends what you want are you willing to put up with it? He loves you but he might not be in love with you and that goes the same for you. How much stronger or weaker are you gona be if you stay? He knows you too well that he can do these things.Sorry to say this but he could be taking advantage of you. Just do what you think makes you happy coz he sure is happy with what hes doing. Who doesnt enjoy a night out on their own? You need time out as much as he does you didnt make the kids on your own.

Answer 8

That's a pretty grim outlook on your own existance. What makes you think you'll be alone for the rest of your life? Is it because you have kids? That'd hardly keep you from meeting a decent guy.

Though it's important to think about your children in the situation it's also important that you think about yourself.. and also the fact that your own contentment with life will directly affect their quality of life as well. They will notice that daddy is always gone and that mommy is always alone, and looks sad, and that in turn will make them upset as well.

But if you are unhappy, and insecure and miserable, then you need to first start with a deep heart to heart talk with your boyfriend and figure out things from there.

Answer 9

He's already cheated on you once so he may do it again. You were very young when you got together, sounds like you were barely legal at the time. Why on earth do you think you would be on your own for the rest of your life? You're young enough to meet someone else and it's quite possible for a woman with kids to find love again! If that's the real reason you're staying together then don't.

Answer 10

Right now you need to put yourself first, if you feel your relationship is not working out then leave, your kids will be fine, my parents have been divorced for 20 years and I survived. If you decide you are going to kick him to the curb, this what I think you should do if you haven't already, go a file for full custody of your kids giving him visitation rights and also file for child support. You will never be on your own you have two beautiful kids....