An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."
2006-12-06 22:48:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather well dressed good-looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Natalie" the man replied.
"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Natalie" was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a "visit."
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one hundred dollar bills and gave them to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie.
Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row; too expensive - and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000.
Again he man pulled out the money, gave it to Natalie and they went upstairs
After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astonished that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Natalie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Natalie questioned the man. "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "South Carolina."
"Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."
"I know," the man said.
"Your father died and I am your family's attorney. I was instructed to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is: Some things in life are certain:
1. Taxes
2. Death
3. Being screwed by a lawyer…
2006-12-06 22:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lawyers and Trust.......they are the two rails of a railway line....never meet.......
An engineer died and was mistakenly sent to hell. Fairly quickly, he had redesigned the place. Hell cooled down considerably thanks to the air conditioning he built and installed. The escalators and elevators worked just fine. Manual labor was quickly becoming a thing of the past.
God looked down one day and noticed all the changes. He called down to the devil to ask how these improvements came about.
The devil replied, "That engineer you sent me."
"What engineer? You're not supposed to have an engineer. Send him back up here!"
The devil's answer was simple... "No."
"If you don't send that engineer back right now, I'm going to be very angry. In fact, I'll sue you!"
The devil replies, "And . . . where are you going to get a lawyer?"
2006-12-07 06:54:26 · answer #2 · answered by Electric 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Well, at least he was honest, after being forced by the court. LOL.
Have a great evening!
2006-12-07 16:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BTW - What do you call 20 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A start!
2006-12-07 06:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by etnam90 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can trust a lawyer about as much as an Estate Agent !
2006-12-07 07:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
funny & thought provoking 10 / 10
2006-12-07 10:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by billtheangler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute keep em coming
2006-12-07 07:00:32 · answer #7 · answered by borrowedtime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that epitomises lawyers perfectly
2006-12-07 06:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
mines good
2006-12-07 08:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya i trust mine!!
2006-12-07 06:50:06 · answer #10 · answered by Yndy'91 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋