Would you term this spousal abuse?

Question

Friends of ours have been married for over 10 years.

The wife spends all her spare time with her mum and family, and is "too tired" to communicate with the husband, much less anything else... Although she sees to the children's physical needs, she is emotionally disconnected and highly critical of him continuously - often keeping him up until early hours of the morning with shouting, cursing, telling him how worthless he is and how miserable he makes her, and that he is not permitted to sleep until she is done.
He is a softy that would do anything for the sake of his children but says he's not sure how much longer he can take the treatment.

Answer 1

yes i would consider this a form of abuse. Until she realizes that the energy and time that she is dedicating to her Mother and immediate family should be time invested in her husband and children there is very little that can be done. She needs to realize that her family will continue to grow with or with out her. and on day she is going to resent herself for her selfishness. the husband on the other hand should evaluate whether or not it's worth it to stay in a marriage where he and his children are being neglected and further more he with out a doubt being verbally abused.

Answer 2

Of course it is abuse. Not only is the husband subject to abuse, but so are the children. There is more to being a mother than providing for the physical needs of a child. Kids need a loving environment. They are learning that it's ok to treat someone with disrespect and if the dad doesn't do something, they will most likely end up perpetuating this kind of cycle by marrying an abusive spouse or being abusive themselves.
The husband is NOT doing right by his children by tolerating this kind of behavior from his wife. Counseling would be a good idea, at least for him. The kind of person the woman is, she would probably just say that she's not the problem and refuse to go. If it were me, I would just leave the situation.Aafter 10 years, she's probably not going to change.
Sadly, everyone is a loser in this situation.

Answer 3

That sounds like a difficult situation, I would consider it some form of abuse. The children may get their physical needs met, but being in an environment like that with their mother verbally abusing their father is not healthy and could cause problems now and in the future for them. The wife is obviously unhappy and is taking it out on the person she shares her life with. Something needs to change, because the effects of continuing on like that will be negative for everyone involved.
Maybe you could suggest counseling, depending on how close you are with them. By getting some help, the wife could find out what her issues are and discover healthier ways of letting out her emotions. The husband could benefit by talking to someone who is a neutral party and the children may also benefit from seeing a professional. Once they get to a more stable environment, then they could decide if they are going to work it out and treat each other with respect. I hope things work out for everyone.

Answer 4

Heck yea, but it is only so much a person can take. He will eventually either do one of two things. 1. grab her around her throat and tell her to shut the f up, or 2. pack up all his things and leave. One thing people with kids involved need to realize, if you are not happy in the relationship and you are screaming,yelling, and so on everyday and they are saying they are there for the kids, the kids are hurting more because they are not dum, they can hear and see what is going on. I would rather leave and be away that way my kids can see the happy me,When you are upset and unhappy all the time the kids can feel that and it affects them also.So I would suggest you tell him he have to think really about those kids. Leave so he can build is confidence and spritis up so he can show his kids how to be happy and have a happy life!

Answer 5

Of course this is spousal abuse and it needs to stop. Your friends should seek assistance from a psychologist or marriage counsellor as all this denigration, hate and yelling will only adversely effect their children. It's not right and needs to stop. Your "softy" friend needs to stand up to himself, otherwise he will have to put up with this for the rest of his life and be miserable and that's not fair, everyone deserves peace and happiness in their life.

Answer 6

I would call it emotional abuse. From the sound of it, she has some deep seated issues but with an attitude like hers, I doubt if anyone could suggest that she see a psych. If I were he, I would really sit back and evaluate his options. I would be out of there. Understandable, he loves his kids, but sometimes you need to think of yourself first so you can look after them the best you can. He needs time out before he snaps.

Answer 7

Yes! There is more then one way to abuse another. He needs to get help with or without her. The children will one day have problems for the way the Mom is acting out, and the Father sounds passive to me, they all need help! Good Luck!
She may need professional help with in the mental health system.

Answer 8

Yes I would say this is abuse. I am not sure how much the children can handle knowing or hearing their parents fight. The guy needs to stand up for himself and either go to counseling or divorce.

Answer 9

It is emotional abuse. Definitely grounds for divorce. Depriving someone of sleep because you have the need to berate and belittle them is emotional abuse.

Answer 10

This man should not put up with this behavoir for one more minute. Of course it's abuse!!!!! He needs to run like the wind..