An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday morning watching a religious program.
The preacher on this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part of their body they wanted fixed.
Many of the people were elderly so they were covering their eyes and hearts. Then the preacher said "Ok now for you at home put your hand on the part of your body you want fixed and say this prayer with me."
So the little old lady put her hand on her heart, because she had a very bad heart. And the little old man put his hands on his crotch.
The little old lady turned to her husband and said "He said he could heal the sick, not raise the dead!"
2006-12-06 18:27:22 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol thats quite good........keep em coming...lol
2006-12-06 18:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by madmoo0 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announced to the congregation that he would not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces,
"If the Rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a mini van, to transport their children!"
Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stand and says, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his two children!!" More sighs and applause.
Mrs. Goldbarb, aged 70, stands and announces, "If the Rabbi stays,
I'll give him SEX!"
There is a hush. The Rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"
Mrs. Goldfarb answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "Screw him."
2006-12-07 02:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats a good one 9/10
2006-12-07 04:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by Shredder 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a bit like me this morning dead
2006-12-07 03:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he have more chances of raising the titanic
keep em caming
2006-12-07 07:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by ilikealaugh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont think there is a cure for dead things liked it
2006-12-07 03:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never give me the 10 points boo hoo. I answer all your jokes.
Don't you like me?
I'm scared
2006-12-07 03:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh poor husband bein siad that - but still funny!
2006-12-07 05:04:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol rofl u should be a comedian on TV seriously
2006-12-07 02:40:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe there's an afterlife ?
2006-12-07 06:57:00 · answer #10 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one
2006-12-07 04:49:05 · answer #11 · answered by jon h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋