How can I be the "Almost Perfect Housewife", what is your idea of the perfect wife/homemaker ?

Question

I(28) have been a housewife since November of 2005(I was a pediatrictian before I was a housewife) and I think I am doing a great job at it, but I always think there is room for improvement, so if you have any ideas/tips/positive criticism on how I might improve on being a homemaker or better wife please feel free to share :)

Things I do and other info:

-Married my husband(29,Cardiologist) in April. 2001

-Take care of our 4 children (2 boys:18 months and 2 year old, and 2 girls: 2 year old and 6 year old, we adopted all except are youngest)

-Cook Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner (Daily)
-Clean the house(Vacum, Mop, Dust, Iron Clothes, Dishes, Ect.)

-Homeschool all children

-Take children to activites (Ballet class, Gymboree, and Girlscouts)

-Do the Laundry

-Go to church

-Go grocery shopping

-Go to the gym(My husband stays in shape for me, so I feel like I should return the favor and I can proudly say I am 5'7 126 pounds)

-Find time to be alone, let alone intimate with my hubby

Thank you, but I am far from perfect :) Please feel free to share any helpful critism or advice.

Answer 1

I must say. You are doing an outstanding job!

Here are some other small points to add. These are not shortcomings but really help add to the experience.

1) Put an apron on! I think wearing an apron adds to being the ultimate homemaker

2) Ironing - Your husband is a Cardiologist. I think you should make sure you iron his shirts

3) Cooking - Are you making meals from scratch? I'd try to add a few if you aren't

Good luck!!!!
P.S. At 28, it doesn't sound like you were a doctor for a very long time. 4 kids and a doctor before age 28! Wow!

Answer 2

Well, if you don't know yourself well enough, by now, to know what you can do to improve yourself, or if you don't know what you need to work on, through communicating with your spouse, I don't think finding answers through complete strangers, who NEVER spent ANY personal time with you, in your daily endeavors, then I'm not sure where you can even begin! Maybe you don't need to improve on anything, unless you're hearing it from your family and friends, who know you the best.
I would have to say that if you get along with your husband, and are happy, together, and share quality time, and are financially secure, and are doing your best, then that's all you can do, and until someone you KNOW, tells you different, don't try to fix something that's broken, rather, enjoy the moment, take pleasure in life, and know that you've done everything in your power, by the great gracious Higher Power (spirituality), to fulfill your life with the goodness that you have shared.
You seem to be on the right track and are doing fine, in my books.
I am a mother of two boys (10 & 12), and married to a wonderful husband, who became a stay-at-home-Mr.Mom, when the kids were younger, and I work three jobs. I'm secure in my relationship, and I always think that what I've learned over the years has really helped me develop a good sense of security in who I am, as a provider, nurturing mother and best friend to my husband. We do have our moments where conflict steps in, but we work through that, and there's nothing I would change, because everything I've done, up until this point, has made me who I am, today - stronger, more spiritual, happier and by far, more open and honest with accepting that I am not perfect, but I've done everything in my power to do the best I can with what I have.

Answer 3

Well, you used to be a pediatrictian so, you tell us. I think everything sounds great, but are the children in daycare when you are at the gym? Of course they are. Why don't you buy an in home gym, because frankly you guys have 4 children and you are spending money on a membership to a gym and spending money to have your kids in daycare while you do it. Well... homeschool doesn't sounds too good either. The children won't be able to know the facts that it is a tough world out there when they try to get a job. Are you going to homeschool for college also? I'm sure you and your husband didn't do that. School is hard, but it does give them social skills. When your children are at school, you can get all of your things done sooner. It's sounds like you don't have that much time for the children and playing when you make time for the other things. Face the facts, the homeschool was a good idea, but not the best for you and the children. Sounds like the children might want to spend time with you, but they can't because you are trying to perfect everything that the eye sees and look good. You need to support these children by taking them to a park and playing frisbee with them or you all go out to ride bikes. You need to spend more time loving the children not teaching the children what they can do in school. You can be alone the whole time once they are in school. So, I hope that's what you see also.

Answer 4

Wow, you sound great to me. My fiance would love you to death.

But like you say there's always room for improvement.

Have you read Laura Doyle's book "The Surrendered Wife"? I know people will give me thumbs down for mentioning it but you might like it. If there are any problems in your relationship at all it might help. Lots of women say it does. I am currently reading it to see what I think ... the ideas behind it are logical (like you have to change YOURSELF if there's a problem; you can tell your hubby to change til you're blue in the face but you're the only one you can control and one is better than none).

Maybe if you read that it would at least give you something to do, since you seem to have everything under control? There are "Surrendered Circles" that meet to discuss the book and their relationships, too; if you have free time and decide to follow her ideas you could go to their meetings.

Even some women who think their relationships are already good find helpful ideas in it. I think mine is wonderful already and I don't think I would EVER call myself 'surrendered' or anything like that. I also would not say that I follow any of those steps ... but the idea that I am the only person I can control is certainly helpful in some situations.

So there's a suggestion. I hope you like it.

Answer 5

its seems your doing an EXCEPTIONAL job! im amazed and overwhelmed you question your abilites and the hard work you put into your family. Marriage is a team work, two way street that needs much patience, love and devotion and it seems you cover all areas... as well as you do for yourself and your family i dont seem to find anywhere that you take a moment to yourself to spend time with YOU to relax take a bubble bath or even just have time to think... and to me there is NO 'perfect' housewife or homemaker, all that matters is you and your family are happy, healthy and enjoy life and all the joys you share together!

Answer 6

My idea of a perfect wife/homemaker is a happy one. Being happy with yourself and family. I also think getting plenty of support so as not to feel like that you are being taken for granted. (getting back as much as you put in). Sounds like you do a great job and I hope your hubby appreciates that. I'm not overly fussed if things dont get done around my house everyday. Just seeing my kids and husband happy is good enough for me, and they are happy to have a stress less mum. Sounds like your kids have a ball with all their activities.

Answer 7

My husband and I joke about me being the 50s housewife. It sounds as though you are the same. You are not submissive to him, just want to treat him with respect, and let him know how much you respect and love him. I am sure my list of things to do are just not mentioned on your list.. so here they are..

* Make sure that the kids are clean and delightful when he gets home.
*Never talk about stressful things during dinner.
* Make yourself look nice before he gets home.
* Ask him about his day..

That is all I see that you dont do.(and it could be that you just didnt write it down) KUDOS to you!! If you think there is more that you should be doing.. just ask him!

Answer 8

I have been a housewife since 2000 and you are doing way better than me lol.Im lucky to find time to read a book with words let alone doing all the housework lol.

Answer 9

From my point of view, a married man, you are doing great. Mrs. Cleaver would be jealous of what you are accomplishing. Your husband is a lucky man to have found a woman like you. I to am lucky in having found my wife she, like you, pretty much runs the house and I am grateful. Keep up the good work.

Answer 10

In my opinion, there are alot of inconsistencies to your story.

You seem you would have just maybe finished your internship and then decided to stay home while/after adopting 3 children DURING your schooling? If you adopted a child who is now 6, you would have been in medical school and so would your husband. I find that next to impossible. Medical school is 4 years and an internship is 3-8 years depending on specialty.

Able to adopt 3 children starting in your early 20's sounds impossible.