Should I...? I am very confused about how I feel.?

Question

I am very confused about how I feel and what it means.

My boyfriend communication style is to shutdown, and mine is to bare all and work it out. He does believe in working to communicate though. We have been dating for 6 months. My needs have not been met in the past and it was very painful and hard to communicate them. Things are on there way to getting better. I am trying to be patience. I enjoy spending time with him very much, but I feel lonely in this relationship. I am confused and scared.

I am lonely because I feel like I am waiting for him to met me head on. To meet me in how I feel for him. For him to reciprocate.

I do not believe I love him, because I am heavy hearted and sad. Love is suppose to feel good. He has not said he loves me, and I do not think he does.

As friends, before we dated, I respected his advice.

My two question are:
1) Why do I feel this way?
2) Should I ask his advice for how I feel? (in essence telling him)

Answer 1

Most men shut down while women are ready to talk or battle it out. This is so typical it is amazing.....if you figure out the answer you better sell the instructions because you would make a fortune

Answer 2

Love does not always feel good. for the record, love can definitely be painful, especially when the love you have for someone is not reciprocated. 6 months can be long but then it can be not long at all maybe you should slow down a little maybe he feels you are moving to fast and if that's the case eventually you will drive him away. Don't push the subject, enjoy the time you spend with him so that he will enjoy the time he spends with you and maybe in time things will grow and he will be at a point where he is able to express that with you. but in your heart if you feel like you are not getting what you want out of the relationship then maybe this relationship is not for you and you shouldn't settle.

Answer 3

You have got to tell him your needs. And tell him how to for-fill them. Some guys are not good at communicating (try helping him work this issue out). If he does not put in the effort to satisfying your needs after you have the little talk then this relationship is distend to end.

I just had to say something about the girl right below me. You really pi*sed me off. Either you like a guy or you don't. Never put someone on hold in-till you find someone better. What are you in middle school grow the f*ck up.

Answer 4

From a guy's point of view: Most of the time, guys do not really verbalize their feelings even if they really love you. But the fact that you said yourself that you do not LOVE him is a clear admission that you should stop this relationship as lovers. Instead, continue on as just friends.

You just want someone to bla, bla, bla with you to validate, explore your feelings, because I suspect if somebody "met" you head on, then you will feel better. Your boyfriend, apparently is not willing do do it, so even if you eventually marry, you will just be miserable.

No need to ask his advice because what is more important in solving your situation is what you honestly feel. You do not love him. Done. Next.

Just be friends with him. That means also no sleeping with him. If you do, you're in trouble.Guys do not really think of "mixed signals" but rather of the, I hate to say it, an opportunity of a "freebie". Next.

And if your boyfriend really loves you, I bet you he will go after you next later.

Answer 5

It is obvious that you are in a relationship where your man does not feel the same as you do. I am not saying that he does not care for you, he just have his own level of feelings for you and he's cntent with the way it is.

You want more than he is giving. And you shouldn't have to settle for less than that. You can't change or hurry him, and at the same time you shouldn't have to wait until he comes along.

That is why I preach the following:
It has to be two people going in the same direction at the same time trying to accomplish the same goal..

Answer 6

Can a chicken & a duck communicate? That's the answer. It's either u have to live with it or stay away.

Since he's the shutdown type then it will be rather impossible to hear the word "I Love U" from him.

My Advice: Patience, patience & patience or just give up

Answer 7

I so know what you are going through, only he does tell me he loves me, but it feels like he is always backing away and I am trying to pull his feelings out, which he then gets all stuborn and it doesnt work. I am just enjoying the sex and moving my feelings into other areas of my life. Its been a year and I know I cannot accept a completely committed relationship of this type. I say involve yourself in other activities and if you meet someone interesting, let him go and go out with someone else.

Answer 8

sounds to me like anger, frustration, and anxiousness. is there a mystery that your retaining from all people? like possibly that you simply notion wouldnt subject so much however at the moment are knowing that a few persons realizing would possibly destroy you? suppose approximately how you notice your self in existence correct now and in case your now not comfortable with it, do anything approximately it! attempt to difference your self right into a greater you. and if that doesnt aid, check out doing extra matters you uncover calming. like possibly get your nails performed, or have a spa day. or simply hang around with a few historical peers. and dont freak out. the whole lot shall be k ultimately. so if the whole lot isnt k, its now not the tip. =]

Answer 9

see my words will be important me today in this moment like u the same but iam male and something u love him very much and love will not fealhappy if u feal that he ignore u and still ignore u u will be sad alot and i can't answer ur questions because i have no answer to mine also wtf??????how can we treat this situation in my school a girl like u and my plane is complex alot

Answer 10

you feel that way because of ur expectations. try to know his language of love.. it is very important.. there are people who don't really tell their feelings, they just show it in their own ways. his language of love myt be just that way.. spend more tym with you and stuffs he does. u think its not love coz u also have a different language of love. maybe for u, saying "i love u" is the ultimate way of telling u he loves u but for him its not.. its about being with u and doing things with u. try to discuss things with him. be open and be loving wen u do that :)