I suddenly broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because of commitment issues (mine). I immediately regretted it, and it took a week for me to get him back. However, during that time he had hooked up with another girl. Nothing like this had ever happened before, and after apologizing profusely he says it was because he thought his "life was over". He forgave me for breaking up with him, and I told him the truth about my own feelings (that I want to marry him and that fact scares me to death). However, I am still so angry about what he did, often times I think life is perfect, think about what happened for a second, and am in tears again, with mental images of him and another girl that make me ill. I always thought we had a story book romance but since he kissed someone else its been ruined. I still love him to death, I just don't know how to get past this. Please help, it's a terrible roller coaster of emotions I am on.
2006-12-06 15:53:34 · 10 answers · asked by anonymousplease 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well this is part of our life. it is never easy to forgive someone you love when you find he/she had betrayed us behind our back regardless if both of us had broken off.
Sometimes we need to cool down and think what is the best solution to solve this problem. Some of us may act like nothing have happened and forget the whole incident but some of us is unable to do so.
Whether can you forgive him or not, all depends on yourself and not us. We can tell you to forgive him but realistically can you do so? Only you know the answer yourself
2006-12-06 22:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest couples counseling. The two of you have issues to work out. You need to find out why you want him so badly but are so scared to actually make the commitment. To forgive means you move on. It doesn't mean you will forget it, but it does mean you won't use it against him later. Forgiveness is also a release. If you can't forgive, you are the one that will be hurt by it. You broke up with him and for all he knew it was over for good. Usually when someone ends up with another so soon after a break up, it is "rebounding". There usually isn't the normal feelings of caring or love, it is a reaction to the situation. Again, a good counselor can help the two of you sort through all the emotions and feelings before you decide to try marriage. Problems that already exist don't magically disappear with a ring and a ceremony.
2006-12-06 16:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by jigsawinc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one approach will work for each person, so I'll suggest a few. If you're really feeling down, you may want to think about seeing a counselor. If you prefer not to, then you may want to try some self help books. Although it's not specifically on forgiveness, you might want to try Feeling Good by David Burns which would be in the Self Help section of most major bookstores. In general, trying to distract yourself and getting involved in absorbing activities as much as possible could be good. You might want to write a really angry letter to him and then burn it. I truly hope that you are able to get past this soon, and I wish you all the best.
2006-12-06 15:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by cotopaximary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who broke up with him. What did you want hime to do sit around and mourn your loss? And wasen't as if he was cheating on you, you ended the relationship, not him,, And I applaud his choice to go out with other women and get on with his life,,, Your terrible roller coaster of emotions appears to seem more like a case of: YOU NEED TO GROW UP.. If I were him I'd have thought twice about giving you that 2nd . chance,,,
2006-12-06 16:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by Gringa_uno 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU dumped this guy. As soon as you dumped him, he was free to do whatever he liked. YOU broke his heart and left him emotionally devastated. YOU put him in a situation where he needed comfort. So you have no right to be angry if he found that comfort in the arms of another girl, because you pushed him into that situation.
Next time you start feeling angry at him, remind yourself that it was all your fault. He was not unfaithful to you, he believed it was over.
2006-12-06 16:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE SOME ISSUES THAT YOU NEED
TO WORK OUT, AND UNTIL YOU DO YOU WILL NEVER GET
ON WITH YOUR LIFE. WHAT EVER IS GOING ON, TALK TO
SOMEONE BECAUSE IF YOU DONT YOU WILL CONTINUE
THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR
'SELF BEFORE SOME ONE ELSE CAN LOVE YOU. FIND
YOUR SELF FIRST THEN SEE WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER
BECAUSE LIFE IS NOT A FAIRY TALE AND THAT MAY BE
THE PROBLEM NO ONE IS PEFECT. LIFE IS A JOURNEY
AND YOU NEED TO SEE WHERE YOUR LIES.
2006-12-06 15:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He only kissed another girl at least he didn't have sex with her. Yeah i know it hurts but it was just a kiss not the end of a good relationship and plus u broke up with him.
2006-12-06 15:57:55 · answer #7 · answered by jsxy695 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm i'm really sorry to say but you're very unlucky to meet this situation. life's like that you can't control. just stay strong and let time heal your wound. good luck
2006-12-06 16:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by rachel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ya was broke up so just get on with ya life
2006-12-06 15:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said it right there...you were broken up....you were both upset...and he kissed her ..they didnt have sex..i can understand if u were upset about that but move on its a kiss...
2006-12-06 15:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by the quiet one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋