My son was diagonosed with a communication disorder when he was 3 and I need some advice.?

Question

I have a 8 yr old son that has been diagonised w/a communication disorder. Hes in 3rd grade and has anxiety issues, and a hard time staying on task. He has a hard time focusing. He gives up very easliy if he doesnt understand something. I have to help him with is homework everynight, which isnt a problem, but he basically just looks at me for the answers and gives up. He is
a very emotional child. He is afraid of riding his bike so he hasnt
learned to ride it. He also gets fustrated easliy(he has a very hard time tying his shoes) He freaks out if you laugh at something he does, not at him though, but he doesnt understand and still doesnt
after explaining to him that no one is laughing at him. I love my
son VERY much and it hurts me to see him this way. All I want to
do is fix this for him and I dont know what to do. We have tried sports and its awful for him.Doctors and teachers have both
suggested that and I understand but its just not working. Any ideas would be appreciated

Answer 1

My brother went though a similar time. He was diagnosed with multiple learning disorders and put in special classes at school. My parents sent him to counseling as well as went to counseling with him once a week. This went on until he requested it be stopped. But, for the five years it went on it was very helpful. The woman showed him tricks to remember stuff. And, how to write down his feelings in a journal. She'd talk about his journal when he went to his appointment. I think alot of it was he was afraid to talk. Afraid to tell his feelings he just couldn't express what he wanted to say.

He's now 18. And, let me say since he turned 17 he's been a different kid! He got a job, a girlfriend, and a truck. He suddenly made all kinds of friends and gained self confidence. He's articulate and still needs help in certain areas, but he's very independant.

When he was your son's age he was attached to my mom. He wouldn't want to leave her side...ever. He also never did his homework and got fustrated over everything! Even opening a door with gloves on sent him over the edge...

With help (my brother's was covered under insurance) learning how to effectively communicte. And, if given good tools he'll make it through on his own. Just give him time and be patient. We ALL thought my mom was nuts. Even her own sisters!! But, looking at my brother she did everything right!

Answer 2

My son is 6 and has mild PDD (autism spectrum) some issues with your son sound similiar. We tried numerous alternative meds for my son (special diet, herbal supplements, etc) Nothing really worked. He's hyper, hard time focusing, lacks attention. When we finally put him on Ritalin his school work and behavior problems greatly improved! (PDD and ADHD symptoms can mirror each other. Although the Ritalin doesn't help with some of his PDD issues). Although it only helps at school because I need baby steps with the meds. It's a low dosage that only lasts about 4 hours. By the time he gets home you can tell it's out of his system. We may have to change that in the future. I help with his homework but he gets very frustrated and starts crying , we then know it's time to stop. He doesn't ride his bike either but he has a scooter that he loves and just whips all around the neighborhood on. Sports is not my son's thing either but we keep trying different ones to see what he likes. He was in martial arts for a year and loved it and the discipline and respect issues helped to bolster his self esteem. Try it out! You may find this will greatly improve your son! Most places will give you a trial class for free to see if it would be something he would enjoy. We had to quit because the cost was too much. But we have also recently put our son in Cub Scouts as well and he enjoys that also. It helps with his social skills and the dens are small (with like 6 or so kids) so it's not overwhelming. Contact your local chapter and give it a try. I'm not sure what communication disorder your son has but talk with your doctor or search online for any support groups. You may want to have your son tested for Autism as well. Good luck to you and your son!

Answer 3

It sounds like more than a communication disorder. His behavior on the surface resembles asperger / autism spectrum. We all have the frustrations, but some of us have a harder time dealing with them.

He may also have a processing disorder. I'm no pro, but I work at a special ed publisher and do a lot of reading into our products, so I'd recommend having someone beyond the school's psychologist work with your son to find out what's holding him back.

I used to have real anxiety issues as a child, and put up with a moderate amount of testing. I was fortunate in that I needed very little treatment, and no drugs. I do remember getting a little tired of meeting with the "special doctors," though.

Answer 4

First of all, I went through this with my son, and it turns out that he was gifted in the areas he was getting in trouble for because he was at a different level, GET A SECOND OPINION!!! My son is five going on six and he still gets mad when he cant do something and still has a hard time tieing his shoes, And even adults freak out some times when you laugh at them so why wouldnt a 8 year old, They dont understand yet and there body is still developing even if there mind is way beyond. You just keep loving him and doing all you can and with CONSTANT and CONSISTENT correction and love he will eventually get it, also PRAYER is powerful and never forget to listen to him..

Answer 5

Mary
Your son sounds a whole lot like my oldest, who is diagnosed with aspergers and nonverbal learning disorder Please look at it online at www.nldontheweb.com or www.nlda.com and see if it sounds familiar. There are a lot of things that can be done to build this child up, but you have to start small and work hard.

My suggestion would be to first support your child in his interests. You can't 'fix' him, and you can't fix it 'for him'. Don't force him into things he doesn't like, you will build that dislike and low selfesteem way high. Be his helper, but let him do it himself, or he'll never own the issues and he'll never have the sense of accomplishment that comes with overcoming troubles.

Secondly find a behavioral therapist who can sit down you with and figure out some things that important for him to learn in the next week, then the next month, the next year, etc. It's probably important that you resolve the shoe issue, it'll lead to bullying. Find some slip-ons, tying shoes is an outdated issue anyway. Sometimes there are miniscule steps in tasks that we don't see because we take them for granted. We have both a behavioralist and a psychologist trained in autism working with us. It's a huge benefit, even though we only see them once a month for consultation.

Good luck

Answer 6

God bless you and youre son. i think you are a very special person. I have a neice with this same problem, and we do pretty much what you are doing, except when I help her and she gets bored doing her homework we wil take a break and I will just talk to her about anything for a few minutes, then I will help her some more. Maybe this will help you I sure hope so . I now that sometimes you feel like just giving up, but take a deep breath and count to ten. i really dont know what else to tell you.

Answer 7

Tell the teacher she must give him ONLY ONE instruction at a time. My cousin had other less severe problems but he could not grasp more than two instructions at a time. So if you told him to take out a book, read chapter 2, and answer the questions. He might get as far as reading. And because of frustration he wouldn't ask.

If the teacher can not do this than in most places the school is required to provide an in classroom aide. Who will help him through things one step at a time. This may help, or it may make him feel worse. It's your call, but if you feel and aide will help FIGHT until you get one.

Answer 8

You are a very sweet mom and I'm sure this is tough on you.

Maybe you can do some online research and find out if there are natural alternative treatments to Ridalin ( I probably spelled that wrong).

I really, really recommend you find in your area a martial arts program where they promote partnership. I go to a fantastic dojo where it's mostly adults, but they have kids programs too, and it's all about everyone getting involved and helping one another out, as none of us are perfect. Aoid ones that are all about tournaments and trophies. And FYI, my sifu ( instructor) was a young boy of 9 confined to a wheel chair for cerebral palsy, was dyslexic and always got picked on. Martial arts taught him to walk and have self confidence. Please give it some serious thought.

My thought are with both of you.

Answer 9

I am going through something right now with my kid giving up not even trying.....my sons problem is health related, well emotional too I guess. That is my problem too is trying to fix everything for my kids, sometimes they need to fix things on there own....Labeled with something or not..... Try backing off "helping" him with homework, make him come to you if he has a question or needs help. This makes him have to do something for the help instead of you being right there to do it. Nothing wrong with emotional, if you don't baby him and the other kids see it, he will get teased for it and therefor not fit in with the other kids. One of my boys is almost 13 and still has problems with tying and buttoning his clothing. I make him ask, come to me for help (there for a long time he wore cowboy boots that did not take tying). His little friend has helped him repeatedly (only real friend he has) on tying his shoes. I have seen his shoes tied in knots and he is real proud of these knots he did all by himself, so be it, it will not hurt them being in knots. He wears button up shirts to big for him so he will not have to unbutton them, he slides them on and off, this is fine by me. If he needs help I am always right here. He is in special classes that help with these kinds of things too, that is to dress to "fit in", I have reservations about this but whatever makes him happy. They also teach him to wash his clothing, hygiene, just day to day things and he is always so proud to show us what he has learned, even surprising us!! None of my boys are into sports. They would rather be doing something that does not mean having all the people around them, though I have asked and asked them if they want to do a sport. All of them are getting more and more into music. What is it your kid is labeled with? You might be surprised at how many parents are out here that are going through some of the same stuff. Wish you well and some kids just need creative raising more then "normal" kids.

Answer 10

i honestly have no suggestions except to talk with a specialist if possible. and ask them to be completely open and honest with you about your child's condition. sometimes the medical community isn't as telling about certain disorders because either the parents are not willing to except what is really wrong or they feel that they must "sugar coat" things because of the age of the child. i work with a girl that has a social form of autism. unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done for her. that's just the way she is. don't give up hope. he might grow out of it with age.