Suicide... someone please talk me out of it?

Question

some one please help me... my life is horrible... yet another one of my friends hates me now... He out of no where hates me beyond all reason... I thought he was one of my two real friends but he apperantly just wanted to use me then crush my already broken soul... I know only have 1 friend and my girlfriend... I'm not even sure if they care about me though... my step dad mentally abuses me and physicly abuses my mom... my mom loves him though so I wont call the cops on him... I'm addicted to cutting myself... my moms a psycotic druggy... but I love her and she doesn't abuse me in any way... and I think she cares about me... thats most likly just the drugs she takes... I dont want to hurt my gf but I feel like I have no other choice... I'm so confused and unstable I think she may not even love me... I know she does though why else would she put up with a pathetic emo who cant stop cutting himself and cant cheer up like me

Oh and before you "say go see a doctor now!" been there done that... they dont even know I'm suicidal I just said I've thought about it... I've actually attempted it a couple times only to chicken out in fear of hurting my gf... I was hospitalized for 5 days and the put me on 300mgs of a really expensive anti-depressant... I think its call buprion ER or something like that... oh and you'll most likly think this is weird but I REALLY hate xmas... dont ask its just various traumatizing events that happened to me... I have an appointment with a therapist either tommorow or the next day but I dont know if I can make it through today... everyone I actually let my barriers down for hurts me... I NEED to cut myself right now but I threw away all my razorblades (stupidest thing I ever did) and my mom would notice if a knife had blood on it... I need help but everytime I talk to a therapist I get scared and lied... someone please help me... I dont know how much longer I stay alive T.T

oh I'm 14 and a freshamn in high school and even though I have a IQ of 131 I'm making a 0 in one class a 15 in another and the others are all either high 50s to low 70s

Answer 1

Okay ! Listen and listen carefully get this Homeopathic Remedy AURUM MET in 200 potency and take it once a day you will be feeling better within hours of taking it. and by feeling good I mean feeling totally good and happy without any side effects or complications take it for as long as your suicidal thoughts persist and stop where you think you are not feeling depressed anymore. Keep me posted about your progress after taking it for three days ( 3 Doses) it is totally Non addictive and works like a charm on suicidal thoughts and depression.
Take Care and God Bless you !

Answer 2

You need to talk to someone who has experience in helping people contemplating suicide or something.(samaritans.org might help) This is just a milestone in your road. Everyone goes through something for a reason. I was in the same position as you I hated my life, always had that thought that no one cares or loves me just cause of some BS, I was at my breaking point that suicide was my only solution technically I'm was a self cutter now i just have those scars to remind of something. Yes, life is a ***** i will admit that. You just have to realize that friends come and go, real friends are the ones who's stick and stay with you through the good the bad and the ugly.
Just remember you're loved by you g/f, your mom, your friend and other that you might not know of. Its wrong what you step dad is doing to you and your mom, you don't need that in your life neither does your mom since she's has a substance abuse. you should really talk to someone to help you and your situation.
PS: sorry if this doesn't help you

Answer 3

Sweetie, PLEASE don't do it. Throwing away your razorblades was the SMARTEST thing that you have ever done, not the dumbest. I have a 14 year old daughter who is also a cutter. She went through a horrible time 2 years ago. We are making it through it day by day. She is an absolutely wonderful and amazing person, as I am sure you are, too, in your own right. She has so much much to offer and I bet you do too! Please make it through today. Tomorrow, be completely honest with your therapist. Help is around the corner. I know how frustrating it can be. It can feel like you are all alone and no one understands or even notices. Hang in there, though. It WILL get better. You have to persevere. If you need to talk, I will talk through email or messenger with you until your appointment tomorrow so that you have someone to talk to until your appointment. Stay strong!!

Answer 4

First of all your mom cannot love a man who verbally abuses her son and physically abuses her. She is just too messed up to realize what piece of crap he really is. If you call the cops on him it may start a chain of events that helps to work out all of the other problems your going through. Second, if your girlfriend knows all about all of this and she is still with you then don't ever let her go. She is a good girl who will stand by you through thick and thin and you will need her. Third, friends come and go and people use people everyday and then drop them the next day and I can only say that as you get older you run into people like that less and less and while it sucks right now it will get better. You cannot stay in a situation where you are being abused and your mom will eventually appreciate what it is you did for her by getting rid of her man. Your mom also needs help and she may be too messed up to know that herself. You can't make her do anything but you sure can let her know that you love and you want her to get well. And last, cutting yourself is a way to be in control of what you feel and with all you have going on I understand your need for control. You can make it through this. It took such guts to say all of this for everyone to see so that means your ready to make changes. Good luck and Please fight for your life. Once all this crap is done your going to be one strong and understanding and caring man. I am so proud of you for making this first step!

Answer 5

Hey, look. You need help, you admited it here yourself. Your story is heartbreaking. I know things are really bleak now...I don't know how old you are, but soon enough you will be out of your house and away from your stepdad. The BEST thing you can do for yourself is be honest! You did it here with us, you can do it with a therapist. Finding a good therapist is really important right now. You need a safe place to open up and feel ok to be you. And it is ok to be you!

You know what is right, and that hurting yourself or your GF isn't going to make you feel better in the long run. The bravest thing you can do right now is face your fear and your problems head on and push through them. The only reason you want to kill yourself is end the pain.

I was like you half a lifetime ago. If I had killed myself I never would have learned how utterly fantastic it is to be weird, thoughtful, sensitive and ok with it all. You can do it. If I did, you can.

It won't be easy, and being a teenager is hard enough as it is. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You know, it isn't weird to hate Christmas...a LOT of people get really depressed around the holidays. I am not a huge fan of Christmas...but like a lot of things that perplex me...I turn it into an amusing thing to write about. Have you considered finding an outlet for your pain? Something creative? Music? Theatre? Art? Even sports...you don't need a team...you can run, ride a bike...I spent hours riding my bike and drawing to escape my painful teenage years...and have great legs to show for it 17 years later!

Please know, your perspective now is skewed because you are depressed. I know mine gets that way...take time to take care of you. YOU matter. You know, it not a copout to seek friendships and trust in a group setting...have you ever considered Al-Anon or Al-ateen? they are anonymous groups, free for kids and loved ones of substance abusers. They can be really supportive. The support is out there...and you seem to want it.

I've had a number of friends die over the years...it never gets easier and I still miss them. I can bet they didn't imagine their affect on people. I often wish I could call them up and laugh about some stupid thing, or cry with me at a breakup. Life is for learning...and that is all this is...a lesson. You can do it, you can be the you, you want to be..as queer as that sounds. God bless.

Answer 6

Please don't do that. I am sure there are plenty of people in your life who love you a lot and wouldn't know what to do without you. Things might be bad right now, but they can only get better from here. I think you should consider going to the doctor. They will be able to help you. There are many medications that will help with depression. If it gets to the point that you think you are going to kill yourself please call your girlfriend or call 911. If you killed yourself, think about how many peoples lives would change. Your girlfriend and your mother would probably blame themselves for not being there more for you. Your family would be so upset. It may seem like some of your family members don't care for you, but they do. They love you a lot. Try writing in a journal. It may seem stupid, but it really helps get your feelings out. I hope that everything works out for you and you start feeling better soon. Please don't make a bad decision. Try to go to bed so you don't have to think these horrible thoughts any more.

Answer 7

Dude, killing yourself is not the answer, life will get better. All of the "friends" that I had in school, were never my friends. I talk to none of them now. The person who you will hurt the most is your mother. I have learned that the only people who will always be by your side is your family, all of the "friends" that you have now you wont even talk to when you get out of school. Dont hurt yourself over people who dont even matter. They may seem important, but they aren't. If you don't like your stepdad, just distance yourself from him. If he hits you or your mom, call the cops on him. Hope this helps man, life is a gift dont throw it away.

Answer 8

See a doctor, and show him what you have written. I know what it is like to feel the way you do, and I wouldnt wish what you are going through on anyone. I have been there and even died. The deeper I got into the "nobody loves me", the deeper the feelings of worthlessness imbedded inside me.
What you are doing is reinforcing your low self esteem, and one day you will think yourself into a move there is no turning back from. DONT DO IT.
Here is a simple formula with historic success. You dont have to believe it, just try it for 10 days and it WILL work.
When you go to bed at night repeat over, and over these words.
EXACTLY these words.....
" EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY MY LIFE IS BETTER, AND BETTER, AND BETTER "....
Word for word.
This is a very well known method for self hypnotic treatment.
I promise you that after 10 days you WILL feel better.
Talk yourself to sleep with these words.
Remember...Never let the sun go down on your anger/sorrow, for it will surely rise with you the next morning a little stronger.
Good on you for putting what torments you on this site. You are already on the way to a better, and better state of mind.
Good luck, you'r special.
PS Look for and affirm the good points you see in those around you, but especially in yourself, and take it from me you have already proven that you are a caring and intelligent person to tackle your feelings in the way you are....Best wishes

Answer 9

The holidays are always a hard time, especially when you are going through depression. It WILL get better. Try to believe in yourself. Always try to see the positive side of things in life. The more you think on how awful things are for you, the further it draws you in! Smile, take a walk, or a run. Look at the beauty around you. Plan on going to help serve food at a local shelter for Christmas. Help others! It will help you find peace within yourself.

Answer 10

Listen to me. Do not take away your life when you have so much to give to the world. I know its hard, but you have to tell yourself 'things WILL get better'. Life is not fair but you have to do the most with what it gave you and it would be wasteful to give that up. Your life is something precious, keep it safe. When your life is shrouded by darkness you must try andFIND the light. Look to future, think of how much is in store for YOU and not in a bad way. You may hate your life right now, but try and think about the world without it and if you REALLY think about it, it won't do anyone any good to take it away. Remeber what I said, things WILL get better.
Plus you need to find a way to make things better, I know your not telling anyone you know your thoughts but that might just be a big step. Talk to your mother, go to the source and if your mother has to leave your father to solve the problems then tell her. If you know shes the kind of person who won't listen to that, then go stay with another relative if you can. If you don't have a relative to stay with at the moment, try and stay at someoens house you trust, don't matter who it is, just think about your life and what your putting at stake here. If nothing i tell you works then I'm going to make a suggestion that you might not agree with, but go talk to your therapist about it if nessacary. Good luck