How do you cheer up some one with cancer when it appears that the end is not far away,?

Question

My problem is this. My friend has undergone treatments months ago and is now going through them again. If chemo don't work then its two differents sets of radiation. Things don't look good right now and my friend is not only sick from the treatment but in pain as well. To make matter worst, my friend lives across the ocean and the internet and phone is our only means of communication. Now, my friend doesn't reply or answer the phone. I feel as if my messages are being read. Any suggestions on how to cheer up my friend or a message that can be sent. I welcome any and all advice. Thank you in advance for your help.

To all that answered my question: This is the first time that "all" answers were given from the Heart and well thought out. Not even one answer just for points.How do I pick a best answer from all these great answers. If I could I would give all of you 10 points. You deserve them. I am going to give up three more points and let the voters deside this one. I can't. Also I was informed about chemo-angels. I looked at that web site and believe that I want to be one too. Thanks to all of you for your prayers, comments, advice and information. God bless all of you and I hope you have a extra special Merry Christmas.

Answer 1

That's a tough situation. I say the best way to cheer up someone who is extremely ill is to talk to them as if they were perfectly healthy. Joke with them and make them feel like you don't see their illness at all.

Answer 2

This is a difficult one, Cancer is a life style, meaning that it changes everything you do and everyone around you. It means that everything you do should be as if it were the last time you were going to have the chance. Its how we all should live our life's...Its because we are to busy living our life, that we don't get the most enjoyment out of everything we do. This can be a very positive time if all involved make it that way, keeping in mind that death is just the next step not the end. quit worrying about the what ifs and just live life as if you were dying. If this is such a close friend to you, do everything in your power to be there for them and have a great time.I battled cancer with my daughter for five years and we have been through everything, however we made each and every chemo, radiation, transplant adventure and focused on the good, because the bad will always be there, know that she died smiling and joking. her last statement was " Life is a Journey, but death is the true adventure, no worries!

Answer 3

We can see roughly 14 billion light years away. This is because the Universe is roughly 14 billion years old, and light travels at a finite speed. The Universe is potentially much bigger then this, but it is currently invisible. Also remember that we cannot see what is happening to distant objects now, only what happened to them billions of years ago. This is because light from what is happening now has only just left the object (quasar, or whatever it is) and has not yet reached us. As the Universe gets older, we will be able to see more and more. In fact, we can see about 300,000km further every second (which is an insane amount!) as this is the speed of light. It is very difficult to say what is beyond our limit of vision. The most distant objects we can see are very different to close by objects, because we are seeing what they were like in the early Universe. Ultimately it is very unlikely we will see any planets or even stars in the very distant Universe, as they just haven't had the time to form.

Answer 4

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. I lost my precious nephew to Cancer in 2000 he was only 13 1/2 yrs old. One of the things that meant the most to him was receiving cards and notes from tons of people many that he had never meet. One night I was searching for treatment options for him I ran across a site called Chemo Angels. It is a group that supports people going through Cancer. So I signed my nephew up for it. ( It is free) within a week he got his very own Chemo Angel who sent him a small gift each week as well as a "Card Angel" who sent him a card each week.
There were many days when he felt horrible but yet he would muster up the strength to open all his mail from friends far and near.
When my nephew passed away I myself joined and became a Chemo Angel to give back to those who helped make my "Nicholas" days so much brighter.

I hope this helps and I will keep you and your friend in my prayers.

Chemo Angel Rachel Arent

Answer 5

So sorry for your friend. He is in my prayers. You said he is still in treatment. That is such a rough experience. He is probable sick & so tired & beat up that responding may just be beyond him for now. Keep sending the messages, & calling for I'm sure they do give him a lift. Be patient when he feels better he will let you know. Let him know he can talk to you. Sometimes just have an opportunity to vent helps. Know. He will know your standing by him.
Wish I could help you more, this is a tough situation God Bless.

Answer 6

My aunt recently found out that she has cancer. She has gone through chemo and radiation. I sent her a quilt that she can wrap up with on the couch. Or where ever and that seemed to really brighten her day. Try sending your friend gift like something that you'll use to do that always put a smile on their face. Cause a smile or laughter helps out so much more than you think. Hope everything works out for you and your friend. Let me know at
[e-mail]

thanks

Answer 7

Being a cancer patient myself who doctors consider one in a million cases who survived all the bashing I went through for three full years made me think of a lot of things. All it required was that I had my family and friends besides me during the entire fight and thats what helped me get through the nightmare. Even today, the doctors cannot pinpoint and say why I am still alive after seven years of the illness - but the point still remains your presence and others who are close to your friends makes a far bigger difference then recieving cards, mails etc. I do not think he would be in any shape to read the same in any case and your being there would be something of a solace to him.

Answer 8

Oh... Wow

that must be an emotional struggle for both of you...

I recomend you go visit him soon... if the end is near, it might cheer them up to see you again...

If that is too much of an emotional toll on both of you
gather a box of stuff that was important to the both of you and send it in first class airmail and they will get it and look back at your memoirs and certain items and doodles or notes you can write...

God bless you for caring about your friend..

I will post more ideas as the come... if they do!

*I will pray for you and your dear friend*

Answer 9

Sometimes the best thing you can do is be there, and since you can't do that, make him smile. Send pictures of funny things or jokes. Maybe say how it made you think of something fun or funny you did together or something similar.

Send clips of songs that your friend might find humorous. Laughing might provide some relief from pain.

Answer 10

Send them letters (snail mail) call them keep up-beat. Allow them time to talk about what they are feeling, the stages of grief is difficult when your firend is the one dealing with them, just being a friend will let them know you care. God Bless you and your friend

Answer 11

My best advice is this: Don't try to cheer the person up, or you may end up wasting a lot of time and energy. Just be there for your friend. He may want to mourn what is happening to him, rather than be happy. If that is the case, he needs you to understand, rather than try to be all cheery.

You're being terrific by asking this question, and I admire you for wanting to do the right thing. Your friend is lucky to have you.