How can I accept the fact that I will be alone forever?

Question

I am 33. I am still a virgin. I have a big nose, a skinny face, a long neck and balding. It bothers me that I will never get a girl to find me attractive. People have told me that it's all about being confident, but I have a hard time believing that. I mean, if you are a girl and you see a guy like me, you would vomit immediately. So I need to face reality and accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life. But how can I accept that when it still bothers me a lot?

Answer 1

Well, you've admitted it, so the first step is dealt with. Now you have to consider all the benefits of singlehood. Isn't it great not having to put up with someone else's neuroses?

Answer 2

Forever is a long time and 33 IS NOT old. You've got time. Calm down and focus on work and family for a while. Stop nagging at this for a while and if you really want to accept it, it will happen. But I don't think you should totally give up, just think about other aspect of life for a while, ok.
OH and watch love actually, it is full of difuncuntional relationships and junk like that. It should make you feel better, I would rather be in no relationship for some time that one where a guy cheats on me or is an ***.

Answer 3

You can't. If it bothers you, it can't *not* bother you. Listen to your friends. There are all types of people in the world; chances are that a number of them would be happy to be with you. Feeling down on yourself will drive people away like nothing else.

Take this from someone who popped a 30-year old virgin: you are not hopeless unless that's what you want to believe. If you have hard time believing confidence will work, it's because you've never had it. A good and understanding therapist is probably your best bet, and there are also dating coaches in some areas that might help as well.

Answer 4

Larry - you may not believe this, but looks are not everything. If you can make a girl laugh and treat her right you surely can find a girl worthy of loving. Just because you haven't found anyone yet, does not mean you never will. Looks are only important if you have absolutely no personality, brains or talent. Those are the things that truly impress women. Somewhere out there is a perfect woman waiting to love you - thinking that no body will ever love her either. Maybe you just need to look harder....Have you tried E-Harmony? Thats a great way to meet someone you are compatible with on many levels. And compatability is wherer true attraction comes from, and what love is built on..

Answer 5

First stop blamming yourself. Most girls go after guys who are complete assholes. Youre problem is you l don't have self confidence and act really desperate arround women. Ladies pick up on this really easily. As long as you think like this you'll never get laid no matter how you look.
I assume you live in some advanced western country and waste
your time in overpriced nightclubs trying to pick up farang princesses who spout feminist man hating rubbish.

Stop wasting your time and life away. Arrange a trip to either Bangkok Thailand or the Angeles Philippines. Go to gogo bars massage parlours. Don't try to find a girlfriend or love just focus on having a good time and getting laid.

When you finally get back to where you came from you won't be anywhere nearly as desperate as you were before and in a better condition to score.

Answer 6

Larry, do some self-awareness work. Consider this; you are a divine spirit having a human experience. So am I...and so is she. Within each of us there esides our inner spirit which guides us. What truly becomes attractive about a person is that inner spirit. Not hte outer form. You know "beautiful people" who are true jerks. You know not-so-beautiful people who are angels. Which are you? I guarantee there are hundreds of women who will find you attractive. But first you have to find youself attractive. Make a list of all your positive qualities. Study the list. Focus on the positive qualities that you have. Honor yourself for your virtues. Then imagine what it would be like to have a girlfriend with similar virtues. Focus on the thought of having a companion...not a raving babe, just a heart-felt companion. Then look up .

Answer 7

Don't be one of those people like my sister... she only goes out with certain people. Like what kind of job they have, how much money do they make and exct.
You are a man and you WILL find that special person. So what you are 33! Are you dead!? NO you are alive and available! So just keep your head up and don't stair at the ground when you pass a pretty woman! She is actually closer than you think! Ask someone out. Go out on a blind date, go and join a singles club or group. You would be surprised what is out there and who knows you could find the LOVE of your like at one of these places. Gosh she could be your co-worker or your neighbor.
Don't put yourself down like that and don't listen to what the other LOOSE RS tell you that answere your questions. They are just jealous that they are not saving themself for that special one.
Trust me! You will meet someone. I met my husband and we are totally different people but we love each other and he and i just moved to Florida about 6 months ago and has given me the best life ever.
You will find that special person just give it some time and do what i asked you to do, get involved!

Answer 8

that is so sad...your making me cry!!! don't say that about yourself. . your face will always be the same. however, there are ways you can change your look. how about trying to change how you dress. dress more fashionable. lots of women like bald men so thats not a problem. are you skinny??? maybe that's why you have a skinny face. if you are skinny then gain some weight. after changing your outside, maybe you'll start to feel better on the inside. you are capable of getting girls that you like as long as you got the characteristics of a gentlemen. approach women with high self-esteem. "fake it till you make it" when you got the girl, being romantic, a good listener, adventurous, outgoing will keep her interested.

Answer 9

I believe you have accepted it according to what you have written. Using the word "vomit immediately" tells me that you don't only find yourself unattractive but that you don't like yourself as well.

Yes, you lack self confidence as well as self-esteem which both can be worked on with a good counselor.

I would not date anyone like you or even think about dating anyone like you only because when I see you, you probably are walking with your head down, don't make eye contact, don't start a small conversation, and may walk like your afraid.

Please be aware that I didn't mention anything about your looks.

Best of luck.

Answer 10

You keep talking like that and you'll be alone forever. Believe me, women do not care as much about what a guy looks like as men care about what women look like. I was a model, and I've dated some men in my life who would not be considered physically attractive in any sense of the word. They turned me on, though, because they were smart, fun to be with, and made me laugh like crazy. THEY didn't care that they weren't Brad Pitt, so why should I? Seriously, the best thing for you to do, is start by looking for women who have the same sort of interests as you. If you're interested in jazz music, start going to jazz clubs--things like that. Then strike up a conversation with women there who are as interested in it as you are. You might get so caught up in the conversation that you forget about what is getting you down on yourself. Don't even think about your looks. Keep your head up, smile, laugh. Be interesting and nice. It IS all about being confident.

Answer 11

Larry, I understand how you feel but the fact that you're so down on yourself is what's really holding you back. Trust me when I say that I've seen men far worse looking than you say you are find a girl that loves them. Women are very attracted to men that can make them laugh, that really listen to them and who make them feel special. If you approach women with a hang-dog attitude and focus solely on your least attractive qualities, you will never get to know them. Find something to like in yourself, build on that and start taking chances. You've really put a heavy burden on your looks - you expect them to do all the work. You're valuable and have something important to contribute.
If you find it impossible to concentrate on your positive points, please talk to a counselor who can help you do so. You deserve better than the hand you're dealing yourself.