I need some help, my mom took my daughter to visit for about two weeks, and now that they came back my mom is really sad that hannah my daughter is going to stay here with me, now every time I hold the baby she cries but when my mom holds her she stops crying so I think they have developed a very strong relationship. I have to work all day and she stays with a babysitter most of the day and my mom has all the time for her. My question is sould I let my mom take the baby and bring her back to visit every other week or should I keep the baby and take her to visit my mom every time I can?
2006-12-06 12:24:43 · 6 answers · asked by Carmen G 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Carmen -- there is a simple life strategy for any situation and it goes like this.
Depending on your decision, what would be the ramifications to you, your daughter and your mother
1) in 10 minutes
2) in 10 months
3) in 10 years.
All life question can be addressed if you look at your decision in these time frames. A simple example --. Should I skip school? There would be no issue in the next 10 minutes if you did and perhaps you would even have great fun. But, In 10 months, if you skipped a lot of school, you may fail a grade and that would have measurably more consequences. If you failed a grade your self esteem would tank, and that could have long term term effects on where you live, who you live with, what you do for a living, ect. In 10 years that decision might be a slippery hill.
Now you take the quiz -- what could happen in 10 min. if you let your mom take your baby? -- what will it be like in 10 months?, and now, what will your relationship be with your mother, and your daughter in 10 years?. Think it through - there is no right or wrong decision but if you know the possible consequences, decisions are easy to make.
Good luck!
2006-12-06 12:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by dar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely recommend visits to Grandma, and the rest of the time your bub stays with you.
Your mum may not be doing it intentionally, but it sounds like they do have a pretty close bond.
This is a good thing though! and it can be maintained through regular visits (like once a week or something) to Grandma.
I know when I was growing up I spent alot of time with my grandparents, and we had (and still have) a very close loving relationship. However, I was always waiting for the time when my parents would come and pick me up.
The crying phase will pass, as long as you make sure that you are the one there to comfort her when she needs it.
Hope this was of some help!
2006-12-06 20:44:06 · answer #2 · answered by yummy_mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What?! My mom has a strong relationship with my children, and in my opinion visits are long enough. I would never give my children to anyone just because they bonded. If your mother has all the time in the world for your child maybe ask her to babysit instead of paying someone else to do it.
You are her mother...you shouldn't have "visits" with your child. Your mom needs to get over it and realize that this is your child and your bond is stronger. She already raised her child.
2006-12-06 20:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to bond with your daughter FAST!! Seems like she's bonded to 2 other caregivers without having a strong bond with you....If you plan on having your mom basically raise the baby, just let her do it.. stop confusing the child.
2006-12-06 20:30:23 · answer #4 · answered by maccrew6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the parent....your baby...not moms....you keep your baby and let grandma visit every other weekend.
2006-12-06 20:28:57 · answer #5 · answered by April B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHO is the parent?
2006-12-06 23:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋