I really need some help, family troubles!?

Question

This is long, but I really appreciate the help
What should I do? My parents divorced several ylears ago, so I am currently living with my mother, my dad lives two hours away at the dental office he owns... My mom has recently been pretty hard on me; for instance, I didn't know she put christmas decorations so I didn't compliment her on them. She got very mad at me, and started referring to things that happened years ago that I did, and she said everybody hates me, you're the reason your parents divorced, nobody cares about me, I take everything for granted, I'm a pig, I'm an idiot, I am the reason she isn't dating, she can't have friends over because of me, and she even went as far as to call me ugly... She just told me an hour or so ago that the only responsibility she has is to feed and educate; everything else is a privelage, and that I don't deserve any... Whats that supposed to mean? She also is saying she can't afford very many groceries, but when my sister comes home from colleg

e, she has enough money to buy her everything she wants! She even bought her a pair of $200 jeans, how frivolous is that? My dad is over there making $200,000 a year, and he won't give me the time of day; he bought me a pair of shoes (I wouldn't have had any that fit if it wasn't for that...)and demanded my mom pay half? It seems that only a few people care about me anymore, my sister and my friends... Any help on ways to solve this, or how to do with it?

No, my mom is just being mean towards me. She walks all over me, and treats me like I have no feelings. She treats my sister like she is a god or something...

This has been an ongoing thing, she even makes fun of my friends... she even called my best friend a freak once! Just recently though, it is starting to get worse

I've tried talking to her, she either gets mad and says something back to me, or ignores me...

She won't do counceling. She suggests that I take it... Why? I do not know... As to the age question, I am a 14 year old.

Answer 1

It sounds like your Mom has a lot of mental problems and is not a very safe person. She needs psychological help. That is probably why your father divorced her. She is projecting her inadequacies on to you and you need to see that and not own her degradation of you. You all need to have some family therapy to work through any issues there are and to learn to treat each other with respect and not project your problems on each other. I am sure she is receiving a sizeable child support if your Dad is knocking down a couple of hundred thousand a year and if she is not working she may need to consider downsizing her standard of living so that she can afford to give the family the basic necessities. She sounds like she is not very mature and is acting like a spoiled teenager instead of a responsible adult. I don't know how old you are but please do not model her behaviour as acceptable adult behaviour because it is far from it!
Let her vent but please do not take it personally as her behaviour and words are irrational! Good luck!

Answer 2

ok i was just looking at your 30 best answers regarding questions, and apparentely you must have all the right answers? why cant you figure out how to fix yours? you must be over 18yrs right? If yes, go to college, get a job and show some improvement and maybe they might lay off of you. If no, do the same thing when the time comes. As for your mom, stay away from her as much as you can. She is a ticking time bomb. Something is going on in her life that is making her behave so insane. Like maybe not enough money to spend,cant find a man to like her,jealous of a friend, maybe dad is dating and she feels that she should have worked on the marraige and its too late. If she doesnt have a shrink, she does now. You are the punching bag. She doesnt have anyone else to vent at.When she is in your face ask her what she wants from you. If she wants you out of the house, say your peace and leave you dont know when you might ever see her again. See if you can stay with your dad. If you have to stay then keep yourself busy elsewhere until its time to come home and sleep. If that angers her, explain to her that you are giving her what she wants. I hope that i helped, and the next time she tells you that you are agly tell her that its because of her genes and you dont know what your dad saw in her. as for deserving any i hope that she didnt mean sex?? if yes your mom has issues and she needs some help even more.

Answer 3

Sometimes parents can all be like this and ya its hard but the best thing to do is ignore her. when she starts to be rude just walk away or things might get worse this happens to me all the time and the problem is with my mom as well but don't forget that you do have friends that care about you. So dont' let ANYONE GET YOU DOWN. hope this helps and good luck

Answer 4

Hey divorce is a tough time and your mom probably needs a lot more time to get over so give her that time, but if it gets worse and your mom doesn't have custody go to your dads, I mean come on he should care what happens to ya. And hey everyone don't hate you look how many people are trying to help.

Answer 5

Oh my god. Your story really made me cry.
At first the only thing i wanted is to make your mom suffer somehow, but then i realize that that may not be fair.
Your mom may be experiencing some emotional problems. Just wait until is the right moment for you to tell her that you love her and that you would give up almost anything for her.

I cant say that it will work, but it was the best i could suggest.
Hoped it worked.
I wish the best for you.

Answer 6

maybe your my long lost sister! this sounds JUST like my mom. shes constantly saying mean things to me like that..I think she might be bipolar or somethingg. wow if we do not share a mom than our moms should be best friends. The best thing to do is to IGNORE her and keep in mind the fact that you will be leaving for college soon. Also remember, not to follow her parenting skills when you become a parent. Best of luck and remember IM RIGHT THERE WITH YA!

Answer 7

I don't understand your mother at all. She has some serious issues. Your not noticing the Christmas decorations is no excuse for her mentally abusive behaviour. Can you talk to your dad ? Maybe he can get you out of there. You are legally old enough to decide which parent you want to stay with.

Answer 8

it sounds like your mom harbors alot of anger and needs to get help. you on the other hand sound like a very intelligent person.you have been treated unfairly for some reason. can you contact your dad and explain to him how your mother has been treating you. do you want to possibly stay with your dad to get a break from your mom? do you know that your mother could get in trouble with the children services for this abuse? i would ask her if she loves you and if not i would ask my father to come and get me. i believe you are not ugly, and i believe you are mature. but you need to get counselling for the hurt that your mom has caused. i would tell my dad that mom has been talkling so bad to me and that it hurts. also i would tell him that she doesnt want to buy me things and yet she buys exspensive things for my sister. it sounds like your mom has alot of issues. if you could call this number and talk to these people they are kind and caring people who listen and they are there 24 hours around the clock to help people who are hurting and suffering. 1-330-929-5010 . also you could talk to your grandmother or grandfather or other relatives who care and tell them what is going on.talk to your teacher at school and tell her your problems and the school counselor as well.

Answer 9

I think your mom was having a few off days. It would scar me for life if my mom ever said that to me. I live with my grandmother though so i dont even worry. Everybody doesnt hate you and im sure there is some one who thinks that your not ugly. Its also not your fault she isnt dating.

Answer 10

Im going to guess your mom has a short temper (little things you do ex: dont pick up clothes, forget to clean, etc. make her upset and she goes off) if she doesnt then you should go live with your dad because you dont deserve that.