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does any one know any good jokes? i want to be able to tell some of my friends at school

2006-12-06 12:10:02 · 8 answers · asked by Rhiannon. Stay[[+]] 4 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

and i am over 14

2006-12-06 12:23:34 · update #1

8 answers

well okay my best joke is there's 3 guys on top of a burning building a american a black and an asian the american is up first he runs towards the edge of the bulding and says eagle he turns in to an eagle and flys away the black man is up second he uns toward the edge and says hawk he turns into a hwak and flys away the asian is up dead last he runs towards the edge of the bulding and he trips ovber a rock and he says aw **** and he turns into **** and falls in to the fire and BURNS!!!!!

2006-12-06 12:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by hotcatspurr10 1 · 2 1

A Cardinal of the Church dies and goes to Heaven. An angel is giving him the the grand tour and a soul goes by draped in gold trimmed pure white robe with cheribim throwing rose pedals in his path as he ascends the gold inlayed white marble steps to his massive white marble mansion. The Cardinal asks the angel who that is and the angel says, "Oh, he's a lawyer.". The Cardinal thinks, "Wow, if that is what a lawyer gets, I can imagine what I, a Cardinal of the Church, will get". They continue on the tour and enter a huge building with a 200 foot high arched enterance way and the hall equally as impressive stretches forever. After walking for miles down the hall they take a left into another hall with 100 ft. high ceilings and walk again, coming to another turn into a hall with 50 ft. ceilings. this goes on an on with each turn the hall becomes smaller and narrower until finally they are going down a hall so narrow they have to walk single file and duck into doorways to let others pass. They come to a rough hewn wooden door, the angel opens it and inside there is a small straw cot, a basin and pitcher and a small window that looks out over nothing special. The angel says, "This is where you will reside for eternity in Heaven.". The Cardinal is totally taken aback by this and blusters out, "I'm a Cardinal of the Church and THIS is all I get, why did the lawyer get so much?" The angel says, " Cardinals are a dime a dozen, he's the only lawyer we've got here.".

2006-12-07 11:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0 2

do they have to be appropriate?

I have a brother who lost a tooth
now he works at GAP
I have a sister who broke her leg
now she works at IHOP


There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks short of a load, or his elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

2006-12-06 20:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

There was this dad who was so unbelievably shy, and when his little daughter first saw him naked and wondered what his 'thingy' was, he answered; "Well, err..., ehhh..., that is my little bird it is". His daughter was baffled by the fact that men and/or boys were so lucky as to have their own bird, but she was eventually persuaded and went to bed as any other night.
When the father woke up again, he was experiencing the ultimate, and I mean really ultimate, pain! His daughter was at his side and he asked;
"Ohhhhhhh, moan, MOAN, moan..... My little daughter, WHAT has happened to me?"
And the daughter answered;
"Well, I woke up in the middle of the night and decided I wanted to see your birdy, and well, when I patted it for a while it SPITTED at me. I was *SO* mad at it, so I wringed it's head off, broke all the eggs and burnt the nest!"

2006-12-06 23:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by Mary 6 · 2 0

Q. Why did the Mexican cross the border?

A. To find his 5th wife

Q what the difforent between a black guy and a white guy

A. black guy always use the back door

2006-12-06 20:16:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mysterious 4 · 1 0

Your 4head is so big it's a 5 head. Someone told me that and I LMAO!

2006-12-07 16:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

A priest, a rabbi and a Venezuelan prostitute all go into a bar and..... wait, how old are you?

2006-12-06 20:19:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

continue reading jokes &riddles they are plenty

2006-12-06 20:33:22 · answer #8 · answered by Eunice M 4 · 0 1

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