Insecurities?

Question

I need some advice. I'm 26 years old, and very very very in love with my boyfriend. We've been together for almost 2 years and I couldn't be happier. The problem is that I still have insecurities about if he'll stick around. He was with another woman for 4 years, and then moved on. I've never given my heart away or opened myself up for so much potential hurt before. I don't want to have to be walking on pins & needles until after the 4 yr mark just so I know that he's not going anywhere. He reassures me that he's not going anywhere, that he's completely happy, etc. How do I convince myself that it's ok to be relax & just be in love with a wonderful man?

Yeah, I have some insecurities...but, they stem from so much previous hurt that other men have inflicted on my life. I'm not complaining about it--it's made me who I am today, and I like me...I'm just stating that hurt also causes doubt about others sometimes.

Answer 1

Oddities age of youth. The trust of the friends you have made
so far, check into reality. Make some committment to the home
scene, communities responsive life. You are old enough to
look into adult activities. Make yourself wholesome, clean,
bright, educated as part of each day. The adult in your heart
is peeping around, take on some choices of what friends means to you. Sharing, love, hobbies, work, sports in intelligent
selections is still open, and has time limitations. Blessings for
a happy holiday.

Answer 2

Well the big thing here is that when you are in a relationship like this, you are putting it out on the line. That is what it means to be in love, to throw caution to the wind. If you have been with him for 2 year, surely the lines of communication are open so talk to him. If you are worried about him leaving and it is bothering you and making you feel scared and terrified inside. If he is truely in for the long haul then he will do anything to make you feel better and know that he is not going anywhere. You just need to have faith that he isn't going to leave you and just go with it, love him with all of your heart. That is all you can do.

Answer 3

Be cautious that your insecurities could not push him away. Insecurity like jealousy can eat away at you and cause you to act in ways that are not positive for your relationship. I was in a relationship where my girlfriend was insecure. There was no “real” reason for her to be insecure. I was not even thinking remotely of ending our relationship. BUT…. she kept bugging me…. and that got worse…. eventually some time she would wake me up at three in the morning (when I had to go to work at 7 a.m.)…. and ask if I still loved her…. had to admit not that particular time. This got to the point where I could no longer love her….

You set a lot of good things about your boyfriend and you set a lot of good things about you loving him very (3) much. I think that sentence says what you need to know. What you need to put in your heart. The fact that he broke up with his ex girlfriend is what brought you to together. I mean if he had broken up would not now have spent two years together. Analyze and ask him made him break up with his past girlfriend. Certainly make sure you don't do whatever that is.

Most guys really hate saying… I love you or yes dear always be with you. The guys who say it too much are probably what we call liars. Guys feel that actions speak louder than words. In other words on doing all these things for you…. I'm with you…. I'm loyal… I'm your best friend…. many I say I love you in this form.

While you feel you might be setting yourself up for potential hurt that's not a reason to stop running and not finish the race. Anyone will get tired of you keep questioning them about her love. Look at their actions look at what they do for you. If one day they mess up that doesn't mean the whole future is gone. It just means there is a bump on the road that's the normal course of her relationship. It's no fun without him. Is your ability to pull back together that strengthens your love.

Had to comment:

One person said “marry him”…. so people don't get divorced in four years?? Marriage is never the answer to problems

One person is said above “ oddities age of youth. The trust of the friend you have made so far, checked into reality” ….. speaking of reality…… I didn't even understand this answer….. not sure what any of this has to do with gaining trust with someone you're with. But you be glad to know “that the adult in your heart is peeping around” so you better see a surgeon and get its put back in.

Mark
Author GirlsTellAll

Answer 4

Why a four year mark? Just because his last relationship lasted that long!? Well, you can't do that to him or yourself it's absolutely not fair to him. He has his own reasons with his past relationship why they lasted that long. 4 yrs is a long time so really you should be glad that he is willing to make long term commitments with any woman. Worry about today not tomorrow or yesterday. If you do that than your relationship with him will last a life time. Good luck

Answer 5

relax and enjoy your relationship..if there is nothing wrong there should be no need to get all nervous..your relationship with him is different then the one he had in the past..if you guys have a while together now and all seems well, thats great !!..unfortunately though no matter what relationship youre in tehre is always the possibility of breaking up for whatever reasons..nothing lasts forever and this is why you should just be happy and not worry..Enjoy and good luck.

Answer 6

don't worry he might not leave you , but you know how guys are.
a girl who liives across from me got pregnant a year ago by this guy then like 3 months later they broke up because he was cheating on her .she's 16 or 17
a man is an addition not a completion

Answer 7

Just have him to keep reminding you. Eventually, your insecurities will go away. I was havin' the same problem with my boyfriend, but the time period was I thought I'd have to wait out an 8 year period. lol But with time, he kept reminding me that he wasn't goin' to leave and they started to disappear.

Answer 8

What ever you do don't tell him about your not sure hes sticking around. Us guys don't like women that are insecure. Time will tell. Keep bugging him and you will make him leave.

Answer 9

ya just need to trust him, love like you have never been hurt before and enjoy the ride. worrying will only interfere with your realtionship...men dont like insecure women and you could push him away...just love him come what may...

Answer 10

take a walk in the forest and think about all the good things he's done for u. after the walk u feel new again. good luck