How can I feel better after suddenly having my cat put down?

Question

I just had to unexpectedly have my cat put down for feline leukemia (his health utterly deteriorated in just two days - the fault of the previous owner, my mother, who failed to have him vaccinated) and feel like a stupid miserable wretch. I'd appreciate suggestions on how to get my mind off it. I hope to get another cat soon, but feel like I must leave my apartment empty for a time in homage to my lost one.

Answer 1

Please don't feel badly about wanting to get another cat soon.

I had to have my 18-year-old companion, Shaheen, who I'd had
since she was a kitten, euthanised in September. I felt like I
should wait, to honor her memory, but I felt so terribly empty.
Three days later, I just couldn't take it... and even though I felt
horrible, I knew Shaheen was in a better place, and she wouldn't
want me to be alone and miserable. I went to PetSmart and
adopted one of the shelter kittens they had on display there.
Imani was wonderful... very affectionate... he didn't want me
to put him down to fill out the paperwork!

I loved Imani for five weeks. He had a cold he just never seemed
to get over and it just got worse and worse. I was devastated.
Imani died of FIP in early October.

I agonised about getting another cat. I wondered if I'd somehow
done something that killed Imani. I wondered if getting another
cat would be wrong, if I'd be subjecting it to a death sentence.
I probably drove my veterinarian crazy, constantly calling to ask
questions. It really took a lot of soul-searching, but I did decide
to get another cat... and not a kitten this time.

Amber's been with me about six weeks now. She's two years
old, and was on a kill list at a shelter when a rescue society
picked her up. I watch her constantly to see if she's showing
any signs of ill health, but she hasn't shown any. She's happy.
She's well-loved and loves me back. I can't regret the decisions
that brought her to me. I still mourn Shaheen and Imani... and
the other cats I've lost during the course of my life. They are
never replaced by another cat, but they are succeeded.

Cats give us a taste of unconditional love (even the aloof ones).
It seems like the price that we pay for that is that they are only
on loan to us from God and they have to go back sometime.

I know you're feeling awful right now. But if you feel like you
can handle getting another cat, please do. I don't think our
companions would like us to be lonely for their sakes.

Answer 2

There is no way anyone can answer this for you. You will know in your heart when you are ready to welcome another furry friend into your home. I can tell you from experience that you don't have to feel guilty if you want to run out and find another pet. Just don't rush the decision. Make sure the pet you pick is just the right one for you. May I suggest you find a shelter and give a poor unfortunate a home? I lost my 7 yr old lab mix last year suddenly to kidney failure. The next day after I put her down, it was so empty in my home, I called my husband at work and I told him we need to start searching for another dog. I initially felt guilty because I felt that I betrayed my dog by wanting to get another one so fast, but I was so lost and heartbroken, I needed another puppy. I found the perfect dog after a month of searching petfinder.com and going to the shelter. The minute I saw my new puppy, I melted and burst into happy tears. The people there were so nice and the adoption process went into full swing. I now have a very happy, 10 mos. old lab mix puppy, who keeps me very busy. Yes I still think about my other dog and how cheated she was, but I look at it this way, she didn't suffer and she was happy and spoiled and I gave her the best life I could give her despite her health. I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.

Answer 3

Allegra -

Dont' feel badly about the cat not being vaccinated. There are four strains of that virus I believe and the manufacturers' products do not cover them all. The effectiveness of the vaccine is questionable anyway and has been implicated in acually causing the disease.

I had to euthanize a dear cat friend just two weeks ago. If you take a 30C dose of Ignatia (available in a health pharmacy) you will feel better. I can still grieve for my cat and taking the Ignatia definitely lifted that heavy stone from my heart.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry. I have had to put down a couple of cats before because the previous owner failed to vaccinate them.

You could volunteer at an animal shelter. Most of them need all the help they can get, plus you would be helping the ones that are still living.

You could try picking up a new hobby like writing, drawing, fashion, etc.
I knew someone that made a scrapbook of their cat's life as a way of reminding herself he/she had a good life and she did the best thing for her.

:)

Answer 5

Try not to blame your mum. Do a small memorial service for your great cat.Light a few candles, arrange some photos and say a few kind words. Even if done privately, it may help you with your feelings.Remember, your mum did the best she could with what she knows. Wait before you get another cat. Go to the shelter and get one in honor of the one you lost. One cat saved. The cat will choose you.Cats are kind of magical that way. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 6

Allegra, first of all my condolences on the loss of your cat.

We also had to put down our lovely Tortie, Gaia, about three months ago for the same reason. Luckily our other two tested negative. I was with her at the end; it was wrenching. However, I took great comfort in knowing she wasn't suffering anymore.

Give yourself time to grieve and process your cat's death. The hardest thing is dealing with people who will say "It was only a cat" or "Just get another one." At the same time, remember this quote from one of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein: "You can only grieve for so long. After that, it's self-pity."

Hang in there an know you WILL feel better. And if you don't, check in with your doctor. Be well.

Answer 7

Mums cat just died recently she new it was going to happen, it had cancer it was 24!! but mum was really upset, so we went around looking for a new cat the next day.. we found the exact same cat as mums old one it was black with white patches in the same places!!! but i didnt like that cat and ther was one left so we got both!! if you do get another cat i advise to get 2, because they keep each other entertained instead of wrecking all the furniture.. lol funny to watch when there playing.. sorry to hear about your loss, i wish you all the best

Answer 8

Welmoed's answer is great, and so it's going to sound like I'm contradicting him.

My suggestion is that you honor the memory of your cat by visiting a humane society shelter and getting another cat. You have a cat sized hole in your heart, and another cat can help fill it.

Within about a year, we had one cat run away, one die of old age, and one we had to put down because of cancer. So we were down to just one. We weren't looking for anymore for just the reasons you suggest. But one night I found a cat lying in our street who had been hit by a car. I thought he was dead, but when we took him in to the vet to be put to sleep, the doctor told us that there was surprisingly little wrong with him. So we patched him up and rehabilitated him, and now he is the most aggressively affectionate cat I've ever seen. Six months later, my son found a tiny kitten stranded in one of our tree meowing for help. He was absolutely crawling with fleas. To my surprise, my wife was willing to scrub him with flea medicine and take him in, too.

Neither of these two cats has taken the place of the ones we lost. We miss them terribly, and I still keep an eye out for the one who ran away. But they have their distinctive personalities, and they love us and keep us entertained. I think they have eased our pain and grief considerably.

I think a good approach might be to have a friend go with you to a shelter. If you find yourself repulsed at the idea of even looking at the cats there, it's not time yet. But if you see one who seems to bond with you immediately, don't deny yourself the joy of a cat's companionship.

God bless, and good luck.

Answer 9

I don't think there is anything that will make you feel better, just keep reminding yourself that you made the right decision for him. And, don't get any more animals from your mother!!!
How about rescuing a kitten from an animal shelter and giving him a chance at life that your boy didn't get?

Answer 10

you must know that you had to put the cat to rest and keep it from suffering any more,you did the right thing, but make sure you do the right thing with your next kitty and get it's vaccines,so you will have the love of the cat for many years to come