My Lover Won't talk to Me?

Question

My lover and me had a fight last Tuesday. She basically told me last week to find someone else and don't email her anymore, don't call her and she took me off of IM. This isn't her first time doing this. We break up and make up a few weeks later. My friend believes it's because she is trying to find someone else in the chatrooms and when she can't she talks to me again. What should I do? I love her alot but I don't want to bother her, it may make her more pissed. I also wonder if she is thinking about me as much as I think about her. What should I do?

Answer 1

This is a womans way of controlling someone. In this case, it's YOU , my friend.. DO NOT be sucked into her game. You cannot control what SHE does, you can only control what YOU do and how you react to her. What she wants is to watch you squirm, to make you realize just how "wonderful" she is when she pulls away from you.

Beat her at her own game and PLAY IT. Don't call. Don't IM. Go on as if she died or something. Hey, you're just doing what she asked you to, aren't you?? Go out with your buddies, go to the movies, DATE OTHER GIRLS. Once word gets back to her that you are seeing others, having fun, watch how fast she gets back to you to try to make up.

If I were you, I'd tell her "Thanks but no thanks" once she does call you again. A control freak like this, you can do without!

Answer 2

Stop being so pathetic. This sounds mean but it is not. You know as well as I do that this relationship is showing patterns that all of your relationships have shown. It starts off the same... the excitement of getting to know someone and letting them get to know you. Everything is new and the world is yours. Fast forward 6ix months and now you are fighting daily the respect is gone(probably call each other curse words) Say awful things that you say you don't mean but really do a little. **** blows up you have huge fights then you make up. We are all creatures of comfort and seek acceptance form those we care about. Seeking comfort in routines. The question you need to ask yourself is "Why do you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?" What do you really have? think about it.

Answer 3

Get over it and her.Don't play into her games,beat her at her own.If she tries to talk to you again,ignore her this time.Give her a taste of it.Find someone else,don't be afraid to be alone.You have to be content within yourself before you can truly give yourself to someone completely anyway.If you can't be happy being alone,you will never be happy with another.Not really.Grow some balls man and lose the skank,she's playing you.If she really cared about you,she wouldn't treat you the way she does.Move on now or it will only get worse! Trust me,i've been there and i'm sure i'm older and more experienced than you.

Answer 4

Well, for one..why does she get mad at you? Are you just horrible to her and dont treat her right? But of course, there is the other side. I think your friend is right, because if she loved you, she wouldnt want to break off with you and go back with you multiple times. Usually when someone does that its because they cant find anyone else, so they go back with you. What you should do, is break up with her, that way..you dont have to feel bad for what you did to make you think you're horrible. At least if you break up with her, she will feel like its her fault, and you can also as easily break off with her. In my opinion, she isnt worth being with if she is trying to find someone else behind your back. And, I dont really think she thinks about you if she IS looking for someone else to replace you. Find someone else who will appreciate you. =)

Answer 5

no she is not thinking about you, your friend is right, your her back up, a sure thing, when she cant find anything else she come back to you because she know you will be waiting. this is very emotionally unhealthy for you, either dont talk to her next time she tries to get back with you just to see if she is persistant and thinks it is worth putting a little effort to getting you back, or just move on and find someone who treats you well. it might just be a case of she didnt know what she had until its gone, she cant realize this if your always there, so just let her see what it feels like not to have you anymore

Answer 6

You are obviously good enough for her since she tends to come back, you're just not sufficient enough for her, and you might not ever be. If you always end up as her second choice (or third, fourth, etc.), then unless you enjoy having this status you should keep her out of your life. Find someone else if you want someone, but stay rid of her.

Answer 7

I'll say what the other people will not.

You are a snivling pansy. She's using you as a back-burner option. Want to throw one over on her? Don't go crawling back to her. Take no interest in her at all. STOP CHASING!!! Suddenly it will hit her that shes got no one and will come to you. That's when you have sex with her and then kick her to thr curb. You can do better but theres no reason you can't get what you want from her before you go looking for it.

Answer 8

the best thing you can do is find someone else before you get even more attatched to this girl. since she always comes back to you, do not make an effort to get back with her. show her that you will not just always come running back whenever she wants you to, but show her that you are a person and need respect. don't get back with her and maybe she will learn to take relationships more seriously... and good luck :)

Answer 9

It sounds to me like she is playing with your emotions. Most people consider this a form of emotional abuse.

You need to ask yourself: do you deserve to be treated like this? Do you WANT to be treated like this?

If the answer is yes, then when she comes back, take her back. If it's no, get some counseling from a battered women's network (they work with lesbian women too!) and look forward to a lover in the future who will treat you with dignity, respect, and love.

Answer 10

It's unrequited love, buddy. I think what your friend is hinting is that she's a wanderer, as if she can't make up her mind on who she likes. Or maybe, no offence meant, but maybe you're annoying (like in a naggy sort of sense). You didn't provide enough info.