I'm thirteen but i'll be fourteen in on December 9th. I was raised a spoiled only child, and then my parents divorced. I currently live with my father, and he has a hard job where he works at night so he sleeps all day. I never get any attention and it's affecting my mental and physical health. I'm not hungry as much or I'll eat more than I should and I cry everyday.
I realized I'm probably having to grow up on my own. I cant drive. I tried doing my own laundry, and I'll still try.
I do my own dishes.
I clean up my mess.
I go out and get errins done.
I have all that covered. The only thing I dont have is a father. I really love my dad but he's always working.
How do I get my dad to raise me and give me attention?
Please only answer if you're an adult and/or parent.
2006-12-06 10:48:03 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
sweetie, you need to sit your dad down and let him know how you feel.
your father is doing what he has to do to make sure you have the things you need.
it sound to me like he is trying SO hard to provide for you that he has forgotten the attention part. that happens, and it doesn't mean he doesn't care or love you...he probably loves you more than anything else in this world!
daddy's have a special bond w/daughters that is unlike anything else I've seen. my daddy is *like yours* a very hard working man, and i rarely saw him. but my daddy loves me more than anything else in this world.
i used to feel like you did, until i became a single parent. it's hard to HAVE to spend long hours away from your child, but be dying inside because you miss them so very much.
my husband works nights too, and he *like your dad* sleeps most of the day, when he finally is up to see his kids..*esp. my daughter, who is has a special bond with* they barely get to speak or play together before he goes to work again.
you NEED to tell your dad how you feel. I'm sure that he will tell you how important you are to him, that he wishes he could spend more time w/ you and im sure if you let him know how much you miss him, he will try VERY hard to make more time for you.
just remember that he is all alone in this [parenthood] now, and has to work double hard!
2006-12-06 10:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand 100% were your coming from my dad owns an online business and is on the computer 24/7 lol and when hes not hes always paying attention to my mom. I liked it better before he started the online business thing but no matter what I say to him it wont change. I do all the work laundry, cleaning, etc. But at least I have my mom but when she gets home from work shes always tired and dont want to do anything. The same with you youll proll be alone until your married/out of the house and have a car. Im sorry but I really dont have any advise to give other than theres nothing you can do about your dad.
lil_rapsta_grl
2006-12-06 19:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a grown up girl you are! Having kids is the hardest thing you will ever do in life. Single parenting is even harder! My advice to you is to talk to him. Tell him how you feel.. maybe have a special day or night or morning that you two do breakfast, shopping, something.. together.. it is something that you can do together, you get to talk and be with your dad.. and he can see how much you have matured! Parents dont always know what their kids are feeling. Especially if they are raising you on thier own. It is hard working and trying to do everything that an adult has to do, and then worry that their child is not getting what they need from you.. you really feel pulled in all directions. Please be open with your dad. He loves you.. and I am sure that he will rectify this situation once you have told him how you feel!!! and.. You should be proud of yourself for being such a strong, smart and loving daughter!
2006-12-07 08:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by WestWife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grown up and a Parent here Double header for me :)
At 14 you should be fairly self suffcient (washing, dishes, ironing, cleaning etc.) ... I admire the fact that you realize you were a spoilt child ... you need to sit your dad down and just talk to him ... I'm sure he working his butt off to give you the lifestyle you're accustomed to ....
Maybe he just needs to plan a little better maybe set aside a couple hours a day just so you guys can get some quality time and maybe 0ne weekend a month you guys just hang out for the whole weekend
You both need your own space to grow and develop but having said that Yes you need to spend time together as well ... Life can sometimes be a real B(i)tch ... but thats what growing up is all about
Good Luck :)
2006-12-06 18:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way is to bring this up to the judge. Can't you live with your mom all the time, or grandparents?
I know you'll make it, because I was in the same situation when I was your age, but I had sisters and I was the big sister; guess what, I was like their mom as well. I'm sorry you have to through this on your own, but it will only make you stronger, tougher &
VERY independent!...I also work graveyards, and believe me those hours aren't just for any body. But your dad SHOULD be
acting like a parent, perhaps he shouldn't have custody of you?.
2006-12-06 20:10:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sabine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key.
Talk to him about it and see if there is a possibility of finding a job that's during the day. If that fails then just know that he is trying to provide for you and sure he would like to work during the day like everyone else and spend more time with his daughter but he is after all "working" he's not out gambling or partying.
I know it must be difficult but you are going to be such a strong and independent person, you will really be proud of yourself and learn to do things on your own.
Just remember he loves you and he is trying his best to make a good life for you.
Maybe you guys can plan certian nights together like dinner or a movie - that would be like quality time.
2006-12-06 18:52:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not know how this is effecting you. When he has a minute, talk to him about everything. 13 is really young to have all that responsibility, tell him your ok with extra duties to help him out but thats not what your complaining about. Tell him you want a father. Tell him about your appetite problems and the crying. I really hope the talk helps. Take Care and Good Luck Honey.
2006-12-06 19:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are doing what you need to do. You can only do what you can. I am sure you dad has a day off or two once in awhile. Be sure you plan things around his time. Good Luck
2006-12-06 18:50:48 · answer #8 · answered by NIck N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you talked to him about how you feel? if so, and he still is working alot, he unfortunately has decided what is more important in life.
i could work 80 hours a week if i wanted and have everything i want. but i work 40 and only 40 because i have kids with divorced parents and they need me more than i need money. 40 hours barely keeps the lights on, but the kids are better off.
good luck
2006-12-06 19:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by cheezie72 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should just tell him what you typed here. What you're gonig through is pretty typical of any teenager in any situation. Its normal to feel icolated and ignored by your parents, like they dont care or something.
Jsut tell him. Men arent really that quick to notice things, especially the emotional needs of a girl. :)
Its really not as bad as you think and feel it is.
2006-12-06 18:54:13 · answer #10 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋