Do you think that when someone wants to become exclusive (marraige and boyfriend/girlfriend relations) with you it is something that is compromised after? What I mean by compromised is when you partner is suggesting having a threesome or do something the involves bringing another person into intimate acts. I know part of the reason is to try something different so the relationship doesn't get boring. It also depends on the type of person and what they are into as well.
You wouldn't be being up tight about sexual preference if you didn't want to do something like this? Does knowing that information above make it acceptable? When you disagree on issues like this how do you find the middle line where you're both respecting each others opionions and preferences?
This isn't happening to me, it's just something I've been thinking of and I can't seem to think of an answer for this. It's just something I'm curious about and interested to see what other people think of this topic as well.
2006-12-06 10:36:55 · 12 answers · asked by hearts99992000 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For us bringing someone else into our relationship does not change the committment we share to each other. It's sex, not love.
We are very committed to each other - we are not looking for somebody else. Our relationship is the most important.
We are faithful to each other - we do not lie to each other, we do not run around behind each other's backs with other people. We will not betray each other. Our relationship is the most important.
Sharing is not cheating - again, we are not cheating on each other because we are not deceiving or lying to each other. Cheating is running around behind your partner's back.
We don't swing to "spice-up" our marriage or keep it from getting boring. We swing because we both have fantasies that require more than two people to fulfill. In fact, if our sex life is slow for one reason or another, we don't swing at all. If we're not getting it together than noone else is getting any of us either.
Swinging is additional, fantasy sex, not replacement sex.
I think this is a major misconception about swinging. People think that being "committed" is a physical thing. It's not. It's an emotional thing. I think this is because people focus on the sexual aspect of a cheating spouse, not the emotional aspect, which is the reason they strayed to begin with. People don't stray from happy relationships.
We know that we are "it" for each other. There is nobody else we want to spend the rest of our life with. Therefore sex with others is just that: sex. And, it's not a threat to our love for each other or our committment to each other.
Being committed and being faithful goes further than sexual relations. It's having each other's back. It's being each other's best friend and confidant. It's knowing things about each other that nobody else has ever known. It's knowing each other's deepest, darkest secrets and still accepting and being totally in love with them. It's the person that grounds you when your whole life seems to be in chaos. It's the person who unquestionably accepts you for who you are and doesn't try to change you.
That is love. That is what makes a relationship. If it was just sex I can think of several ex's I could still be with. But outside sex we just didn't "mesh". Make sense? We both had good sex with others before we met, but those others didn't meet the requirements above for a loving, trusting, committed, faithful relationship. That is why we are married to each other and not to someone in our past. And that is why noone else is a threat to our relationship. Noone could replace either one of us in our life.
2006-12-07 04:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a relationship where I had the chance to do this and I passed it up. As much as most guys would love the opportunity, I loved my relationship the way it was and didn't want to risk damaging it.
As far as finding a middle ground, I don't think you can. You're either having threesomes or sex with a third person or you aren't. I have no experience on the issue, but I would think that if one person didn't want it, but was willing to put up with it, in time, it would bring about the relationship's end.
2006-12-06 10:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being exclusive, means two consenting adults wanting each other only. Now, threesomes that is a crowd, a sure way to destruction. Don't subject yourself for any-ones pleasure, be sure you're informed in detail, on the measure of respect he is willing to give. Behavior of that nature isn't acceptable. If the relation is so boring, then maybe neither one of you should be involved in it. Trying new things are fine, if done in a tasteful manner.
2006-12-06 10:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by ~Jessica~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay tell him that you know a girl that was in a 4 year relationship and her b/f asked her to have a 3 some and of course since he wanted it i had to do it with another girl, which didn't bother me at first until after when i felt like she was getting all his attention and that maybe he liked f'ing her better then me.. i also had a 3 some when i was 17 with 2 guys and it's just to much work for a girl, trying to enjoy getting f'ed while tryin to give a b.j is just to much, cause i payed to much attention to what was between my legs and not in my mouth.. i think a 3 some for a serious relationship would be a mistake to be honest.. either way someone is gonna get hurt and then the 3rd party might feel like crap for doing that with people that really didn't like her/him and just wanted her/him for sexual pleasures... so good luck and best wishes! just start spicing things up, do role play, be naked when he comes home, let him abuse you alittle bit, maybe abuse him a little.. i dont' know, good luck!
2006-12-06 10:43:05 · answer #4 · answered by ~broken~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She thinks she's already in an exclusive relationship with you. You should talk to her about it ASAP. If you want this, and she obviously wants this, why not? It just means that you won't date/pursue others!
2016-05-23 02:01:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two people involved have to keep trying different things/hobbies/positions to keep the bond intimate and that can't include another person.
2006-12-07 03:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Goddessgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child, there's nothing "exclusive" about this. This man is horny and will use you and (2) other girls to get his "jollies" off. The loser is only interested in you for threesome. Does that sound exclusive to you? I think it's YOU that's "interested" in threesome, Ms. Curious...
2006-12-06 10:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by motherkc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the line will NEVER be defined! only refined. And it's not something that can just be established. It takes a very long time to find out just exactly what range that line falls in.
2006-12-06 10:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by soundalonedrummer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bringing a third person into a relationship never works... Dr Phil
2006-12-06 10:38:44 · answer #9 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you probably show find out all these important facts before commiting to a exclusive relationship
2006-12-06 10:40:23 · answer #10 · answered by METOO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋