Toddler Tantrum?

Question

My son is 19 months old and it seems I can never make him happy.He seems bored and gets mad at his toys and won't eat and I just don't know what to do.I am also 29 weeks pregnant and can't constantly get on the floor to play.Any suggestions?

Answer 1

One thing that you need to teach him is how to deal with his frustrations.

One technique that I use is when a child gets unnecessarily frustrated and angry a toy or activity he is doing is in the calmest, most confident voice, free of anger and frustration, tell him "no tears, no crying now. I will help you but not while you are crying." Tell him to take a deep breath, do it with him and reassure him that you will help and want to help him but he must stop crying, hitting, screaming, etc.

If he still keeps at it, leave his immediate area but stay within his eyesight and tell him that you will come back to him when he is ready to stop crying
and engage yourself (pretend if necessary) in something.

Although he may not understand all that you have said, he will understand your tone, and demeanor, and the words will be understood soon enough anyway.

When he does stop, be true to your word and help him as you said you would. If he immediately falls apart again upon your return, just leave again, return to what you were doing before, and remind him with a simple "no tears"

If what he was upset about has become a lost cause, (i.e. broken toy) Sympathize and validate his feelings of frustration and then show him something else that he can do.

Just stay consistent. Remind him of what he must do to get your assistance but do not give in to the tantrum. Always do what you say you will do when he calms down. Even when you are relatively sure he does not understand you. He may not understand the words but he knows you better than you think and will know when you are not doing what you promised. (I think it’s actually that children recognize our guilt about not following through all too well)

It is also possible your toddler is just tired. Signs of sleep deprivation in toddlers are often characterized by being easily frustrated and bored.

-Tip-
Next time you clean gather all of those small cheap goody-bag type toys (i.e. kazoos, harmonicas, cars, mirrors, etc.) and put them in a shoebox. Next time you need to keep your toddler entertained take out the box and let him open and explore what is inside. Make sure you vary what is in the box regularly so there are always new things to explore. The kids I nanny have several of these boxes and love when take them out for them to explore.


I hope this helps,
Good luck

Answer 2

14 months?! Our daughter started doing this as 7 months! What we did and still do (she's almost 2) is as long as she's safe (not near any sharp furniture or anything she could knock over onto herself) we just take whatever the item is telling her it is okay to be upset when you don't get to do what you want, just let her at it and walk away. Then returning and asking her periodically if she's done being upset and feels better. As she's gotten older sometimes she'll actually tell us she's not done and proceed to begin kicking and screaming again! In the end we always give her a hug and explain to her why she couldn't have/do whatever it was she got upset over to begin with and thats the end of it. This approach has seemed to work out okay for us except in public obviously when you can't just walk off so what we do is put her in her stroller/shopping cart and tell her we don't get to be at the store anymore because of the way she's acting. That hasn't completely sunken in but she does understand the part about having to go back to the carseat and leaving in the car.

Answer 3

I have an 18 month old girl. I have simalar problems!! At this age they just don't get it. So taking things away and such....I don't think that will do you any good!! If he is having a tantrum, walk away and ignore him. If you give him attention that validates the behavior! As far as eating, I have to agree, he will eat when he is hungry! My daughter will go a whole day not eating well and then the next she eats great!! Time outs may work at this age, but it is hard to get them to stay put for 1 minute. My pedi told me to hold my daughter on my lap for 1 minute. I have a hard time holding her there because I thought it might be scarey for her.....but it seems to work some, although I am not very consistent with it!
Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Try taking some of his toys away for a week. Let him play with the ones he has left, then introduce the other toys. That'll ve one way of having him play with his toys. Have you tried taking him out for a walk to the park? If you dont have that anywhere near you, is there some kind of drop-in center you can bring him too? Ones where parents can stay with their kids and play. Even just going for walks might help him. Then both of y'all get some fresh air and exercise. As far as eating goes, as long as hes getting enough fluids and somewhat eating, he'll be ok. Could it possibly be he knows that theres a baby on the way and hes jealous? Its not uncommon for that to happen, even when he is so small. You'd be amazed how much little ones understand. I hope you figure something out soon before your next little one comes.

Answer 5

I had 3 children in 3 1/2 years. Quite a while ago. They now have children of their own. FIRST it is not really your job to make him happy. Your job is to furnish him with the environment and toys to be happy with or in. Big diff. Second. You do not say what you feed him. I hope you have given him a large enough variety so he really has choices. Then if he wont eat. Fine. Serve him small amounts, what he does not eat throw away or feed to the dog. do not make a big deal about it. He is playing with you. When he gets good and hungry he will eat.

Answer 6

Ignore him. It may sound crude. But, once the the new baby arrives you can't give them both 100% attention. It might help to find other kids around his age to play with. You can always set aside playtime with him. But, he's gonna learn at some point he can't have your attention all the time. Most kids fiigure it out and learn to entertain themself.

Answer 7

yup beat down time like Bernnie Mack said lol time outs take things away tell him you love him but for acting out stand him in a corner make him hold his arms straight out for 3 minutes then if that dont work try it on one leg gl

Answer 8

see what he is trying to say.
go like toy shopping or something with him and let him pick out what he likes..