Now we have a child and are fighting over how she should be raised. Within the church or given the choice to decided on her own. I feel that since she is only one year old right now that this is the best time to get into the routine of going to church. I value my christain up bringing and I want her to benifit for the morals and family values that I got as a child. Any suggestions you have are welcom thanks.
2006-12-06 09:44:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My father always taught us that children belong in church, with the parents, and not in the nursery. I feel that children should be exposed to a regular church upbringing and when they become adults, they will have the knowledge to choose for themselves if they want to continue on in a religous life or not.
2006-12-06 09:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 7⤋
Some things to think about....
You need to emphasize your relationship with God over your church membership.
The important thing is your walk with God and the holy spirit....not how you help your local church organization.
If you have a healthy spiritual life you can join a good church in any city and be fine. If your relying on your pastor for your spiritual feeding or growth then your not established on the right grounds.
You also need to communicate to your husband that you love him and your child...but that God is your ultimate focus.
And if thats not true...then you should work on it.
God loves you....and through your spiritual walk and example...maybe your husband will become a believer.
2006-12-06 17:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by aarondarling 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Okay, the question you have to ask is," Does he not want the child to go to church or does he not want to go to church?"
Yes, a child should be exposed to church. I would do it carefully though. I remember the boring, monotone, preachings wondering why I was sitting in an uncomfortable wooden bench for many long, boring hours hearing some guy I don't know prattle on about How good God is.
Does you husband have a bad memory of church? What he abused as a child? Does he fear the fact that there are so many pedophiles amongst the clergy?
You have to figure out why first. If it simply a matter of choice, then you should take the child to church. He/she should be exposed to it and choose based on experience.
Best wishes.
2006-12-06 17:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by Odindmar 5 · 2⤊ 5⤋
At this age I would introduce her to the church atmosphere without ramming it down her throat. Perhaps suggest to your husband that every second week she goes with you to church and the other she spends with her daddy. In time, your daughter will make up her own mind and may even decide to change churches or even religions. You need to accept this and support her choices. I'm not overly religious but am grateful for the church being there as I was growing up.
Good luck with whatever you choose
2006-12-06 17:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by Katie G 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Same thing happened to me. Met my ex when we were young and he was a volunteer at a ministry I worked for. We attended church together, etc. Then we got married. He joined the army when I got pregnant so he could support us. Then he went on an unaccompanied overseas tour for a year. By the time he came back, we had two children.... and he had determined there was no God.
I feel for you. My ex did a complete turn around on morals, values, everything. He started smoking, drinking, going to stip clubs, and I suspect he cheated. Well, the pastor of the church told me that he had cheated on me.
He left me for a separation, and gave not a dime to feed his own children. I hadn't worked through the 7 yrs of marriage, and now had no job and two children to take care of. I filed for support.... he countersued for divorce. And it was over.
No one but the Lord can instruct you here. But here's some scriptural thoughts:
You are told to raise your children up in the knowledge of the Lord. You are also told that if an unbeliever is content to stay with you, you stay with them.... but if they leave you are free of the bond of marriage.
What if you insisted on taking the child to church with you? What is he likely to do?
As for the child choosing.... we all choose when we reach an age where we begin thinking for ourselves. Many kids fall away from the church..... Kids like me who are not from Christian families find the Lord and are saved.
The issue for a Christian parent such as yourself is not about the child's choices, but God's instruction to train up a child in the way he should go..... and that means knowing the Lord. What the child does with that when they reach an age of maturity is between them and God.
What the husband chooses to do is between him and God too. You are responsible only for your own actions before God.
FYI: My ex insisted that I take the kids with me anywhere I went because he wouldn't "babysit" at any time... not just for church. It's amazing what happens when someone turns their back on God. He told me he wanted me to drink with him, and I told him the kids didn't need a drunk mother. His response was, "There's no God, so there's no right or wrong. It doesn't matter what anyone does."
When he uttered that philosophy, I knew we were in trouble. It was only a few weeks later that it all fell apart.
I know that prayer also changes things, so I pray better things for you.
God Bless,
Sue
2006-12-06 17:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your child is an individual. She should be given the tools to think for herself so that she may freely decide what she chooses to believe. Children are to young to know what they believe. A parent who truly feels that we each have the right to choose for ourselves will not indoctrinate their child, but teach her how to think intelligently and support her in her discoveries.
2006-12-06 19:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Gabby 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Give her morals and family values. That can easily be done without throwing in religion. Give her the choice to choose her religion when she's old enough and wise enough to do so. She's far too young at this point to make that sort of life altering decision now.
2006-12-06 17:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
If you love your child, let her choose her own religion. When she sees you pray, if she sees that being a christian brings happiness to you, then she'll become a christian, too. Don't make her pray every night, but let her see you pray every night, let her just watch. If she sees that talking to god is a beautiful thing to do, one day you'll see her leaning on her knees beside you, praying with you. Show her the goodness of your religion, and let her decide.
2006-12-06 17:51:20 · answer #8 · answered by Maus 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Good for him, teach your child all religions and let her decide for herself, if you cant do that you shouldnt have kids in the first place. honestly, learn some respect for other religions and lack thereof besides your own! Its a shame you are teaching your daughter intolerance and hate for other religions by raising her christian right off the bat. I know because ive been there.
2006-12-06 17:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 2⤋
This must be heartbreaking for you.I would pray for his heart to soften,and maybe get some marriage couciling.This is very hard but not to hard for God.Pray first,then maybe talk to your spouse in regards to church for your child.Is he being obstinate in regards to your child attending church?I will pray for you as well,God will bless you for doing the right thing.I would also pray for what ever caused him to change about his beliefs.He may be very hurt over something,just lay hands on him at night,and ask for God to move on his heart again,he does not have to know you are praying for him.There's a good book called the praying wife I highly recommend this book for you.I am reading it now.Be blessed and greatly loved
2006-12-06 17:54:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
"Within the church or given the choice to decided on her own"
Says it all really, doesn't it? Let's get the brainwashing in early.
2006-12-06 17:47:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 2⤋