My friend is getting married soon, and he and his fiance are trying to figure out whether or not to provide an open bar and/or serve wine with dinner as an option. His fiance does not drink for religious reasons, and he doesn't drink mostly because he doesn't like it. She would like to NOT serve alcohol at the wedding. No one on her side of the family drinks. He doesn't really care either way, though most of his family DOES enjoy drinking. And most of their friends enjoy wine with meals. Luckily, no raging alcoholics among the crowd...
So here is their question (and kinda mine, out of curiousity) : Will guests who drink expect wine or a bar at the wedding? Is it rude not to have alcohol available just because the groom and bride don't drink? The bride is worried what people from her church will think if there is wine or a bar. Groom is worried of offending family.
2006-12-06 09:43:58 · 16 answers · asked by Evoo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Advice from a wedding planner:
If there is anyone that understand the preferences or religious practices of the bride and groom it would be their closest family and friends who coincidentally are most likely at their wedding. If the grooms family enjoys liquor and the groom wants them to partake then I would recommend a cash bar. There is nothing wrong with not having an open bar, couples do it all the time due to budget contraints, I see no reason why they can't do it for personal or religious purposes.
As far as the church, it depends on the faith of the groom. If it is a religion that does not allow liquor or wine to be consumed then I would leave all alcoholic beverages out of the ceremony and reception completely. People will understand. They are there to celebrate your union, not to indulge in a free bar.
2006-12-06 09:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by Ash 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have a good reception, have alcohol the same as any other reception. After all, it's a special occasion, and this once won't hurt. Even in the Bible, wine is considered a sacrament as well as being part of gracious hosting. Just because some of the family doesn't drink, that doesn't mean others don't.
If you want the reception to be quiet, dull, and overwith fast, don't serve alcohol. Folks will find some excuse to leave early.
After all, when you have that many people together, especially when they don't all know each other, alcohol, in moderation, acts as a social lubricant. If you refuse to serve it, be prepared for a stiff evening, and almost nobody on the dance floor.
Hey, it's a WEDDING, not a funeral!
2006-12-06 09:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to not have some sort of open bar during the wedding...whether it is only during the cocktail hour or only for the reception portion, some sort of alcohol should be provided.
It is really up to the couple whether or not they want an open bar, but since her whole side of the family doesn't drink, then there might be something you can work out with the reception location and cut the cost of the open bar...especially if they don't drink for religious reasons, there should be a way to work it so that the couple doesn't pay for an open bar for those who don't drink.
2006-12-06 12:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly acceptable to not have an open bar or any type of alcohol at a wedding. If guest expect alcohol they will just have to deal with it for one night, it is YOUR wedding, or in this case, your friends. It is not rude at all. The bride and groom should do what they feel comfortable with. Maybe, for a festive alternative, have sparkling apple juice or something, but if the bride and/or groom are uncomfortable with alcohol beign served, don't worry about it. Chances are, your guests will understand, and if they don't, oh well. Let them serve alcohol at their wedding(s).
2006-12-06 10:13:21 · answer #4 · answered by eagleschica02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they don't want to pay for or provide alcohol that is there choice. It is after all their wedding and tradition be damned. If people really want a drink there is nothing that says they can't go into the next room and buy thier own drinks. I don't know of any family that is going to be offended by not having alcohol available. Incidentally providing free beer and wine is one thing but an open bar is expensive.
2006-12-06 09:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by ncaachamp 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really think the option has to be offered for hospitality sake. Give the venue guidelines though - low alcohol beer and wine only - no spirits or aperitifs - make them available only if the guests want to pay for them perhaps. My wife and I had a breakfast wedding earlier this year but still had to provide a bar facility or we would have appeared cheap and inhospitable. It was limited to beer and wine only and capped at $1000 (only used about $750 of that cap). Have a great wedding day and life together.
2006-12-06 09:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by zappafan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married in June. We only had champagne for the toast and a glass or two of red or white wine with dinner. We served soda, punch and coffee. I could not afford the alcohol, didn't want people getting drunk on my dime or my in-laws dime and there were a lot of nondrinkers at the wedding (some AA and some just didn't drink). I didn't hear anyone complain about it.
2006-12-06 10:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by ubiquitous_mr_lovegrove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no rule that says you have to have alcohol at any social event. They should serve other beverages though. I've seen this handled before with a little note on the invitation to the reception. They could do something like that if they felt they needed to "warn" some friends and family.
2006-12-06 09:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by Jane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to the wedding, the bride gets the deciding vote.
I quit drinking a few years back and my wife doesn't drink. Most of our friends aren't big drinkers either, so we didn't have any alcohol at our wedding last year. Her son (grown) and a couple of his friends brought six-packs. Nobody was put out by it.
2006-12-06 14:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by raysny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not rude to not have an open bar at the wedding. the bride and groom need to think about other options. like okay serve champagne with dinner. have the reception some where that if someone wants a drink they can PURCHASE one for themselves
2006-12-06 09:48:07 · answer #10 · answered by maggie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋