My good friend has been sleeping with his ex-girlfriend now for the past couple of weeks. He is 28 and has just left for the Military. His ex-girlfriend has 2 children, 1 son that is 7 from a previous long term relationship, another daughter who is about 8 months old whom she had with her current boyfriend (possibly her fiance'), who is unfortunately in prison till february serving time for a series of traffic violations/violation of probation (I dunno something not too serious-what I mean is he didn't commit any felonies). This woman has just found out that she is pregnant with my friends baby. What would you do if you were her? or what would be the best (morally ethical) solution to this? or My wife is friends with this woman, What kind of advice would you give her if you were my wife?
also, I think that she has every intention to stay with her current boyfriend. (who I'd like to add is really a nice guy who cares for her)
-don't mention Jerry Springer I already thought of that!
2006-12-06 09:38:22 · 11 answers · asked by Sam Adams 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sufi
Trust me, I'm staying way far from this one....I just feel terrible for her children
2006-12-06 09:47:02 · update #1
you are too distant to be worrying about this.
let your wife give what advice she will to her friend.
stay out of it.
be supportive of your good friend.
he screwed up by getting this woman pregnant and that
is his responsibility and he needs support right now.
so i'd say stop worrying about what the woman should do and just help your friend out. like if she has the baby he might have to claim paternity or pay child support, or something else.
but you should stay out of it with the woman.
2006-12-06 09:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Regardless of whatever she does she needs to tell your friend. If she feels that she wants to stay with her current boyfriend she needs to think about two major things:
1. Will the so called nice guy accept the baby?
2. Is she ready for a complicated life?
Don't get me wrong in no means do I think that she should get an abortion!! Tell her to listen to her heart and her baby. She will find the right answer when it's time. Tell your wife to just be there for her no matter what because regardless of whatever decision her friend makes she will need a world of support!!
2006-12-06 17:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by s. life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously this women has a problem with keeping her legs shut. This woman will have three children, and it's her fault, she wants child support, and she is going to get it. Your friend made a big mistake. This fiance or whatever will know who the man is who got his girl pregnant. He will be very upset, and when people are upset you will never know what will happen. How could your wife be friends with this person, this woman is a user, and she probably would hit on you if she had the chance. This woman is a backstabber, and a user. If I was the boyfriend, I wouldn't want to stay with her, she is a cheater. If I was your wife, I would tell her to get lost, and stay away from my husband.
2006-12-06 17:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not exactly sure what your question is...here's what I have to say...I don't think this woman has very good morals if she is sleeping with someone while she has a boyfriend...she should have been more careful to make sure she didn't get pregnant...Her only option is to have the baby and deal with it, abortion is out of the question...tell the father of course, and her boyfriend, they both deserve to know the truth. If for some reason, she doesn't want the baby, then let the father have the option of raising it, or if he doesn't want it either, then put it up for adoption.
I think that covers everything. Hope it helps.
2006-12-06 17:46:17 · answer #4 · answered by Pooky 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, are you sure she is not going to go back to the one in prison when he gets out? Hard to tell you until he gets out and you see, or if she tells you for sure. BUT, if she wants to be with the one going to the military, then he should marry her before he leaves, because then his insurance can cover her and the baby. And he can help support her while he is away. I hope she will be faithful to him though. My hubby is in Iraq now, and we have heard so many tragic stories about wife cheating on them while they are gone, and ONE committed suicide over it, so it would not be good for you friend then. I would set her down and tell her to make up her mind want she wants, if she does not know, then leave it alone, she is the one who has to make these decisions, and you do not want to push her to the wrong decision. I hope she does something quick, she is really only hurting those babies and their future stability and happiness. GOod luck, I will pray for her!
2006-12-06 17:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by PROUD wife of a soldier in Iraq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was unfaithful to the man she plans on marrying that is going to be a difficult situation. She must decide either to tell the boyfriend the truth and keep the baby or put the baby up for adoption. If she wants to avoid telling him,her only alternative is to have an abortion. It has to be her choice.
2006-12-06 17:42:44 · answer #6 · answered by notaxpert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this woman needs to be totally honest with her boyfriend in jail.
She needs to go to him and tell him how she has been sleeping with someone else. Probably when he is still in jail that way he can't kill her. TO tell them how she is pregnant.
If he truly loves her they will find away to work it out.
I don't think she should have a abortion because that is wrong to kill a child just because she cheated on her boyfriend.
I think that maybe if she is scared to tell him by her self that a good friend should go With her to support her.
Being honest is the real only option because lies do come out after time.
2006-12-06 18:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by crazziegrl14 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know who this baby's father really is? I don't feel that any person entering prison for any reason is a very responsible person. IF he really cared for her, wouldn't she feel the love & stay true to him? IF he really cared for her, wouldn't he have stayed out of trouble to begin with?
See, if you love someone, you couldn't possibly cheat on them & you would go to the ends of the earth to help provide for your family. Through thick & thin, through bad & good....you just don't cheat if you're really in love!
I've been married for 24 yrs & know there's something fishy about this story.
2006-12-06 20:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by L R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to be honest with him and tell him that she is pregnant. If they are engaged maybe he would be willing to raise the child as his own since it would also be a sibling to his own child.
2006-12-06 17:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is she sleeping around. That is the advice I would give her.
She must not respect her children much less herself to behave in such a 'dog' like way.
And she does not deserve a 'nice' guy. She deserves a scumbag like herself.
2006-12-06 17:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lou 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋