What should I do about my parents?

Question

My parents I should say aren't the nicest people. I'm 15 years old and my parents are constantly yelling at me. My parents argue with each other and say that their marital problems are my fault. I have severe depression and see a therapist once a week, but I don't talk to her much because I don't like talking about my past....My parents yell at me b/c of my music that i listen to and the kind of clothes i wear. They won't let me get my permit or even take my driving courses. They also won't let me get my work permit which I totally do not understand. Please someone help me I can't take this anymore.

My father is rarely home because he is in the Military. Both of my parents are very emotionally abusive. I'm pretty much in tears every night.

I'm definetly goth but I will wear different clothes once in a while for my parents and I listen to a lot of metal, rock and punk music

Answer 1

Can you move in with a family member or friend? I think you should try to get away as soon as possible. No parents should ever blame their kids for their problems. They're the adults who should be responsible for their actions, not you. If you can't move out, just try to hang in there for 3 more years. Then get the HELL out.

Answer 2

I'm sorry, they're adults and they should be acting much more mature than that. It is not, by any stretch of the imagination, your fault that they cannot act responsible. I wrote a list a while ago, and you can show it to them in hopes that they will be more accepting, at least, of your gothic lifestyle:

Goth is more a lifestyle or outlook on life than anything. They tend to accept that there are bad things as well as good things in life, rather than 'sweep them under the rug', to say, and pretend they don't exist. They can dress however they want, although many prefer darker colors and more dramatic clothes and makeup, and listen to lots of songs and varied genres of music, which can include but are by no means limited to, new wave, darkwave, ethereal, Celtic, goth rock, punk, postpunk, chants, heavy metal, industrial, Latin, et cetera. Not all are interested in vampires - in fact, relatively few are. Many if not most have good relationships with their parents. Very few have mental or psychological problems. Most are actually quite nice, if a bit saturnine. Very, very, very few are 'satanists' or 'devil worsippers'. Most of the young teenagers who listen to Marilyn Manson, Disturbed, Slipknot, Korn, My Chemical Romance, Drowning Pool, et cetera and wear heavy thick makeup and studded spike collars and bracelets are called 'Mall goths', shop mostly at Hot Topic, and - this is important - they're not real goths. They just seem to think they are. They act disturbed and surly and try to impress/intimidate people. It seldom works, as most are obviously pathetic, and almost all will (thankfully) grow out of it. If you'd like a comprehensive explanation, try visiting goth.net. Some songs that goths might listen to:
Dragonfly (Conjure one mix) - Cruxshadows
Dazzle - Siouxsie and the Banshees
The Passion of Lovers - Bauhaus
Lucretia My Reflection - Sisters Of Mercy
Lullaby - The Cure
She's Lost Control - Joy Division
In Our Angelhood - The Cocteau Twins
Funeral Night - Bella Morte
Deliverance - The Mission UK
Cemetary Gates - The Smiths
Are 'Friends' Electric? - Tubeway Army
Love Is Stronger than Death - The The
Nowhere Girl - B-Movie
Twilight Of The Mortal - Killing Joke
Seconds - The Human League
Indigo Eyes - Peter Murphy
Right Now - The Creatures
Walk on the Moon - Daniel Ash
No Big Deal - Love and Rockets
Fire Woman - The Cult

Some non-pop music that may help improve your mood:

A Feeling - Throwing Muses
Sakura Drops - Utada Hikari
I Could Be Happy - Altered Images
No Action - Elvis Costello
Where Your Eyes Don't Go - They Might Be Giants
It's Not Up To You - Bjork
Ivo - The Cocteau Twins
Voices - Macross Plus (anime)
Clocks - Twelve Girls Band
Left Of Center - Suzanne Vega
Aankh Naal - Kam Dhillon
My Doorbell -The White Stripes
Le Vieux Piano - Edith Piaf
Pictures Of You - The Cure
She Don't Use Jelly - The Flaming Lips
Unwell - Matchbox 20
T-Rex - Cosmic Dancer

Answer 3

Well first of all let me tell you that your parents marital problems are definately not yours they are adults and they know that. I beleive you should open up to your therapist if not her talk to someone it doesn't help you to keep stuff that is bothering you built up it will get to the point where you will not be able to control it. Maybe you should ask your therapist to have your parents present so that they know how you feel. i don't believe your music or clothes should be anything to yell at you about. you are who you are and dont' let anyone tell you otherwise. I have a niece who is gothic her music is okay and her clothes well BLACK it was hard to get used to but hey i still love her the same. It gets a little frustrating when she will not dress up and out of her regular clothes for a special occasion but she does not get yelled at. Anyway about your driving and work permit take time in a session that you should request with your parents and therapist and ask them why. Parents tend to be a little more open with other people around. Or they just lie. But you never know it is worth a shot. Good luck and keep your head up don't let the small things bother you it will get better.

Answer 4

Maybe when your father is away you should sit with your mother and tell her how you feel.Talk to the therapist see if you can have family therapy and let your feelings out Remember you are not part of their marriage problems you weren't asked to be born that's just an outlet for them.

Answer 5

Talk to school counselor or someone you can trust. If you do not get some sort of help, you will end up messed up. Parents are not perfect....some people shouldn't even be parents. I have never understood why you have to have a license to drive a car but not to have kids. Goodluck....you deserve better.

Answer 6

Hang in there until your 18. Then get a job, a little money stached back and get the H*ll out of there! My parents were exactly the same. I left home and never looked back and I'm doing fine.

Answer 7

Just hang in there.... they only care about yu and want the best for you. Surely theres a easn why they dnt want you driving or working. Dont beat yourself up about it. Just remember, no family is perfect...

Answer 8

Pray.