What do you find to be the best form of punishment for a three year old?

Question

My son is all boy and he tends to get into everything he can find. I have tried time out, but so far it has not helped. He sometimes acts like he can not hear me say no. When he knows I am real upset he hugs and tries to kiss me, I try not to laugh but he will not stop and keeps coming up me to kiss me. I just need some suggestions to other ways of getting his attention.

Answer 1

Do you want to punish him or discipline him? Punishing him will not help him to learn self control, disciplining him will. Time outs do not teach self control. They are only a way for you to control your child. Time outs are punishments. They cause the child to feel resentment and anger. Using stickers as rewards when children behave do not work either. They work for a limited amount of time and then children only comply to get the “prize,” and still do not learn self control. I have been teaching 3-6 year olds for over 12 years. Over the years I have had to come up with alternative techniques to disciplining children and they work! Using natural and logical consequences whenever possible work best. Taking away a toy or privileges when a child misbehaves is not a natural or logical consequence. Taking away a toy if a child throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of natural and logical consequences. If a child makes a mess, they clean it. If they purposefully fall out of a chair, they have to stand. If they break something, they put it in the trash and no one can use it. If they can’t sit politely with the class, they get placed away from the group until they are ready to sit politely. If they are being aggressive, they are removed from the other children until they are ready to be gentle. The discipline I use always fits the crime committed.

Another technique I use when a child is misbehaving is this. As soon as they misbehave, I get down to their level and say "I don't like when you (I explain what and why in very few words)." I take them gently by the hand and put them in a spot away from the other children and say "When you're ready to (control yourself, listen, behave) then you can come back with us." This is not a time out because I do not set a time limit (me controlling the child). The child returns when he or she is ready to control themselves.

I notice children when they are not misbehaving. I say things like "You worked on that for a long time! You can run super fast! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders, great ways to show attention, and help children to feel powerful in a positive way.

I always set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. I’ll say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" means "No" the first time I say it. I say "Yes" as much as possible. I pick my battles. I am respectful of them and get respect in return. I am patient and consistent. All this without punishments!

Answer 2

Do you shout from across the room at him when you are telling him no? Go to him take a hold of his upper arms gently turn him to you and say no you are not allowed to do that. If you continue to do this you will be punished. If he tries to kiss you stand up and walk away. Ignore him. If he repeats the offense put him in a chair he cannot get out of(such as his old highchair with the seatbelt on) Do not use something that he associates with everyday living with. In other words do not use the highchair if he still uses it to eat. Get him a booster seat for the table now and then use the highchair. He needs to stay in the high chair for 5 minutes everytime he does not listen to you. For the first couple of days he may constantly be in the high chair and you are certainly going to feel like a meanie but the more time he spends in the high chair the more he will start to behave. Make sure he is not being entertained while in there and do not talk to him while he is in there. He may scream and kick the fuist couple of times but ignore him. When he is done his time go to him and say now you need to listen and when I say no or do not do that I expect you to listen. Get him down. No hugs no kisses until he starts to respond to you telling him no. If you hug him when he gets out of the chair you are rewarding him for being bad.

Answer 3

Get down to his level as much as you can. Hold him firmly but gently by his arms, with his arms being at there side. Tell him to stop doing what he is doing wrong and explain to him what it is he is doing wrong and why it is wrong. Ask him if he understands and continue to explain to him in various ways if he answers "No" or doesn't answer t all. Let him squirm all he wants but don't let go. Only let go when he answers in a way that shows he knows what he is doing that's wrong and why it's wrong. When you do let go, if he start acting up again then repeat the process.

You might think this is cruel in some way, but it will eventually get through to him and he'll stop acting up as often and start to listen to you. And if you don't take action now, then he will only get worse. Also, you can't laugh at him because that reinforces his bad behaviour. He can tell him that you love him while you're doing all of this and that you're trying to make him stop his bad bahaviour.

Answer 4

With my boy, I make him stay for 5 minutes on his chair in his room without doing anything. I have also made him a star chart in which I put or take away stars according to what he has done. it has worked wonders. Also when he has done something really bad such as lying he is not allowed to watch tv or play on the computer.

Answer 5

Try positive reinfocement. Get some stickers and poster and when he's good give him a smily face or sticker, when he's bad take one away. If there are really cool prizes for getting 5 stickers he'll be excited and punishing him by taking a sticker away is easy for you to do! I do this with my foster kids since timeout takes a lot out of you and doesn't get the point across with 3 year olds. It will also help him with counting!

Answer 6

Bamboo shoots under the fingernails...just kidding...just keep after him he'll get it sooner or later. Kids at that age are going through a fascination stage where everything is new to them.

Answer 7

Well im a teen and have no kids but have nieces and nephews.
Well u can take all the snacks away that ur son usually eats whenever.
Explain to him that if he is good he can have some snacks but if he doesn't listen tell him why he can't hav any
ex. say if he's good......... "You can have a snack honey u were good today good job, are u going to be good tomorrow''?
ex. if he's bad.......... " you didn't do good today so u can't get a snack lets try again ok".
Basically take his privelages away and let him earn it back.

Answer 8

Take away some favorite things, then make him earn them back. If he continues, you can pack up all toys, after a week or so of bordem, he'll get the picture.

Answer 9

Time-Out for 5 minutes....it worked wonders on my daughter when she was three. She's five now so she gets 10 minutes and it works. I don't have to do it often.

Answer 10

he is 3 yrs old you don't have to beat him just continue teach him the right way that's all you have to do later on when he grows up he will remember those things and he is going to act right lol i wish you luck and although i don't have any baby but that's my best answer