do this mean i am selfish?

Question

my husband work over time 4 to 5 times a week I have 3 teenagers 3year old and a 5month old I cook , I clean take care of the kids be a wife is it work to ask for maybe 2 hours alone to my self a day maybe to go to the gym or give my self a pedicure or somethin I can understand the 3 yearold and 5 month being dependent on me but every one in the house seem like they cant survive for at least 2 hours a day so that means I slack on my alone time and focus every bit of my day and time on everyone else I feel so overwelmed some times .... should I just role with the punches and be strong like everyone expect me to be and shut up ...... or be more demanding of my time ? am i just being selfish

Answer 1

I don't think so at all. Everyone needs a break, and you have a demanding load....3 teeanges a toddler and an infant, i dont know if i could do it! Maybe you should have a sit down with the teenagers and the hubby and tell them you don't mind doing things for them but that maybe once in awhile they could help out...how about chores? They are old enough to do dishes, help with dinner, help with the younger ones....and even though dad works a lot of overtime maybe something can be done there as well. My husband is in the Army....they live and breath overtime but when he is home, he takes our 2 year old twins outside for playtime, even for 30 minutes...and i get to sit and do nothing, its wonderful!! I hope ya get a break soon, you sound like you deserve one!! Kudos to you though!! Good luck!

Answer 2

There are 24 hours in a day. Assuming you and everyone else in your household sleeps 6-8 hours, that leaves 16-18 hours. If you took 2 hours daily for yourself, your family would still have 14-16 hours of your time. Explain it to them this way and then make a schedule that allows your daily down time. Assign the older kids to look after the babies during this time. If you plan to do something outside of the house (which I strongly recommend) make it at a time when your husband will be home. Help your family to understand that this time alone will make you a better wife and mother since you will be less stressed.

Answer 3

I don't think you are selfish, but maybe demanding too much time? I am only the mother of one with a full time job and I couldn't think of finding 2 whole hours every single day to myself. Maybe having 2 hours one or two days a week and a half hour or hour everyday. It might be easier to get from the others and still let you keep your sanity. I would just think with a 3 yr old and 5 mo old, you kinda should be available for them all the time. Why should your older ones have to watch them? Or maybe get the little ones an earlier bed time and go for a long walk then. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Yes you need alone time - 2 hours might be a bit much, unless you have everyone in bed by 8:00 or something.
If you have teenagers you should have it a little easier, they should really be doing most of the housework and you take care of the little ones mostly. You need to delegate chores and taking care of each other to your children - how are they going to survive in the real world??

Answer 5

i think that 2 hours a day might be a little selfish...especially since your hubby works so much overtime...your job is the kids, does he get a break 2 hours a day?? Now i dont see how 2 hours once a week is selfish that sounds good and long enough for you to have some alone time...

what about at your childrens nap time?? why not do a pedicure then???

Answer 6

You're not being selfish, but I'd start with asking for maybe an hour instead. Sounds like you're trying to take too much at once. If they're used to having you around doing everything for them all the time, you need to wean them off of your services and make them start doing more things themselves. Then designate a half hour here, and a half hour there for "mom time" where you are absolutely, under no circumstances to be bothered (unless the house is burning down).

You need it for your sanity, but it'll take some work getting there. Take baby steps and good luck!

Answer 7

It's time for you to start teaching your teens to be self-relient. They should be doing their own laundry, keeping their room clean and doing chores around the house. You should not have to clean up after 3 teens! If they do not learn how do you expect them to do this when they move out on their own? I started cooking most of the dinners for the whole family when I was only in 7th grade because both my parents worked. It's not too much to ask of them.

Answer 8

i know how you feel and no i dont think your being selfish. you need some time alone and some time to unwind otherwise, although youre there for everyone else, you could be giving them more if you have time to yourself. maybe your husband or older kids could help you out with the housework. they do need to have responsibilities as well. good luck and take a break - you need it.

Answer 9

a mother who works that much NEEDS rest and alone time. I know my mom (mother of 5), and my husband's mom (mother of 8) need some alone time to get their energy back, and drain their stress. I definitely recommend you asking for help, or ask your teenagers to watch the kids for a couple hours so you could go do something. if you're strugging with alone time with your husband, you should have your kids watch each other so you and him could go out for dinner or something. but definitely, you NEED rest.

Answer 10

You will never be able to keep up with all of that if you DON'T take some personal time! For the long-term well-being of your family you need some time to take care of yourself, otherwise you won't be able to take care of any of them. It's not selfish, it's your mental and physical health that is at stake. Enlist the help of those teens! They live there and they need to contribute to the household.