So, yes...I'm only 19 years old, I'm a full time straight "A" college student, I work two jobs, I live with my grandmother, I love my boyfriend of seven months who already has a baby from a previous relationship. All odds are against me. And even though I'm young and people say to have my fun first, I don't see much I'm missing other than traveling across the world. I want a baby...Am I wrong for that? What should I do?
2006-12-06 08:34:39 · 20 answers · asked by Cathy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!
Are you kidding? YOU STATED.... "ALL ODDS ARE AGAINST YOU" That's a HUGE tell tale sign that you shouldn't go down that road. That makes absolutely NO sense...
Secondly... "YOU LIVE WITH YO GRANDMAMMA! HUMMMM!! Hint: That's not very adult/responsible.
THIRD.... YOU WORK TWO JOBS!!!!
(Having a child is a FULL TIME responsibility). Who's going to watch your child... Your grandmother? Daycare? Do you know the cost of proper daycare?
FOURTH: You've know this dude for SEVEN (7) months... HUMMM!!!! CRAZY!
FIFTH: He has a child already... Is he paying child support? Does he have a career or a very decent, good paying job. What are his plans for the future... what can he contribute emotionally, financially, spiritually to a child? Is he providing those types of needs right now to the child he already has?
Don't you deserve a person that doesn't already have baggage? Do you think you derserve someone like this in your life?
Get a GRIP!
Finish your education (get a degree/or several) travel, build a career, move out and live on your own (by yourself) for a while, and then you'll attract and eventually marry a responsbile, stable person. Work with that!
Having a child is tough enough under the best of circumstances (happily married... man and woman) you're setting yourself up for failure... Don't be deceived/fooled.
Who you are at 19 years of age.... is certainly not who you'll be at 27 or 28 years old (hopefully). Maturity and a well rounded sense of having accomplished certain goals and acessing one's own sense of being highly responsible is very key in raising a child. Children are not dolls or play things. You can't return them once they're here. Providing for a child is NOT by any means easy. Then there is the emotional, physical, financial (just to mention a few) issues that are involved.
In short... YES, you are wrong for wanting to move forward with that.. and What you should do... well.. that's already been answered in the paragraphs above...
Don't get it twisted and believe the HYPE that's it easy and wonderful to be a single parent....
2006-12-06 09:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is instinctive, but thats not the best reason to have one. Wanting one and being in a position to care for one are two different things. When a baby comes, you will be mommy forever. Your life as a free spirited woman is gone forever. No one can tell you it's wrong, because they are not you. But you really need to think about why you want a baby... because you can't turn back when it comes. Your decision is forever.
I think at 19, barely old enough to vote, not done with school and still living with grandma and in a relationship with an unwed father of another child. harly makes for a good situation. Are you sure you want a baby because you really want one or are you merely jealous of the attention he gives to the other child and his ex.
Grow up, and my recommendation is to move on... forget the baby for now.... a baby will grace your doorstep another time under better circumstances.
2006-12-06 08:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong about having the desire...but being a above average college student sounds to me like you have a future ahead of you if you continue in your studies. And, what better way for a baby to come into the world than with a mom and dad who have a financial means to take care of them. When the time comes prayerfully your boyfriend will want to make you his wife first. The baby will grow to know that his parents loved each other enough to make a commitment for life. That to me is important.
2006-12-06 08:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, wait...Having a child changes your life drastically like you won't believe....Don't rush to be go out and have a baby by this man yet....
I did not start having kids until I was completely and ready to settle down....
If you go and have this kid now and your relationship does not last then what?who's going to be financially responsible?you are? If you put him on child support, you will have to share with the first baby moma if there aren't more out there.....You need to stop and rethink what you are saying...
Having a child is a blessing and joy, but financially, its expensive....You are too young to even think about a baby right now...
Graduate from school, get a good job and then you think about a husband first then the kids....
You need to do this the right way as there are too many single mothers out there holding this financial burden of raising kids alone or getting into the system for help....We do not need another one.....
2006-12-06 08:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait until you're older and have found that one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and vice versa. I'm 34, married and have a two year old son. There's no way I could have handled bringing up a child when I was only 20. A baby changes your life more than you could possibly imagine.
For your own sake, wait until you are ready to settle down to have a family. You'll be glad that you did.
2006-12-06 08:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by tipper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong for it but it sounds like you're busy enough working two jobs plus a college student plus imagine waking up in the middle of the night at least twice and changing the baby's diaper or finding him and studying for tests and working believe me if you wait til you're at least out of college then you won't have as much on your plate.
2006-12-06 08:39:44 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 23:26:19 · answer #7 · answered by kinjorski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have a baby yet. Babies don't exist just to amuse people. Graduate from college, get one good job, get your OWN home, get married. You wouldn't be doing your precious child any favors having them now. You'd only be fulfilling an impulse desire. That's not the reason to have a child. Don't forget, it's THEIR life, too, and every single decision you make in regards to them will affect their ENTIRE life. Do the right thing and wait until you're READY--not just until you WANT to.
2006-12-06 08:42:20 · answer #8 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 and I am telling you its only hormones. You will be much happier if you wait till you graduate have your own house and a steady job. Babies are extremely time consuming and cost a fortune. I have lots of friends that got pregnant when we were in high school and out too. They all wish they waited and me I wanted one badly for a while buy I cherish the fact that I waited and still have some freedom. So wait its worth it believe me!!
2006-12-06 08:40:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wait a bit longer with your boyfriend. yes, you love eachother but a baby puts a massive strain on anyone's relationship, and you have only been together for 7 months. talk about the situation more seriously and wait a few months more down the line. good luck.
2006-12-06 08:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by alabama w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋