I'm Daniel and I'm 18 years old.
One night I made what you would call a mistake, but I wouldn't now, at the time I would. My girlfriend of two years had gotten pregnant. Everything was working out fine until she died in childbirth. She gave me my amazing daughter who is 5 months old and I can't stop the criticisms.
I dropped out of school, not because I was dumb because I love my daughter. I do plan on heading back some day. I have a steady job at my fathers realty business and I make a good amount of money to live in a nice neighborhood with a beautiful home. I give my daughter everything, she is actually very very very spoiled. Every outfit... theres a headband and matching shoes. She has every toy known to mankind. I love her unconditionally and I only want the best for her. I need people to stop judging before they know me, but its harder than i thought.
A picture of my baby girl:
http://i14.tinypic.com/2rxf95k.png
2006-12-06 08:03:35 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Mate - good on you for putting your daughter first and foremost - love her and protect her and stuff anyone else who has a bad word to say. You keep up the good work - good luck.
2006-12-06 08:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by zappafan 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not clear about what and where the criticisms are coming from. I will assume her parents.
The loss of their daughter, because she had sex with you, has to be devastating to them.....perhaps even more than for you. Just look into the future and imagine the same happening to your daughter. You have some idea.
Don't ever expect for them to get over that. However they need to forgive as best they can in order to be good grandparents.
You are caring for your daughter and clearly love her very much. Just keep doing that. She is the most important thing to you and what everyone else in the world thinks should not change that in any way.
No doubt that if you could take it all back you would. That is not possible. So forget that. Now just continue to do what you have to do each day and make your daughter your focus. Continue to work with whoever is criticizing you but just don't let it bother you.
Hard to do I know but you have no choice. There will come a time in the future when things will resolve themselves. Age does that.
So hang in there and do the best you can.
Raise your daughter so that this will not happen to her. Teach her about the responsibility of sex that you and she did not have. That will be how you make up for what happened.
2006-12-06 16:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First let me start out by saying that I'm very proud of you for you standing up being the man you should be. It takes a real man and a loving man to consider his daughter and her well being the way that you have. Especially being your age. So many guys would turn their backs on their kids and leave them at the hand of a family member to take care of. I would like to encourage you to go back to shool to get your diploma or at least you GED. It is very important that you have one or the other. Continue on with your education because its very needful in this generation that we're in today. Never call what you done a mistake because you stated that you have a 5 month old daughter. You should never consider her as a mistake. Consider her as a blessing from God. As far as worrying about what people are saying or feeling about you, STOP! People don't have a heaven or hell to put anyone in. Another thing the bible tells us not to judge others. Only thing you need to be concerned about is your daughter and not what people think about you. Hold your head up high because you have something to be proud of. You most definitely should be proud for the man that you are. As far as your girlfriend goes I'm sorry to hear that but sweetheart that was God's plan not yours. You could not prevent life or death in that situation. So don't feel guilty about her death. I know it hurts but it was not your fault. When we as people learn to accept God's will for our lives, the better off we'll be. Those people that are judging you, just realize that they are ignorant and they have no wisdom or knowledge because if they did they would stand behind you and encourage to continue on being a man and a father for your daughter. Realize another thing, those people judging you are not perfect and they all have done something wrong in life and have made mistakes before and no doubt some are still doing things so don't let that worry you. Pray and ask God each day for guidance for your life and thank Him for your special gift (your daughter). I pray this advice helps you.
2006-12-06 19:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are truly an amazing man. You stepped up to the plate and took on a big responsibility and are doing great. A lot of other "men" would have run the other way but you didn't. You sound like you know what you want and are doing everything you can to achieve that goal.
If someone asks you a question you don't think appropriate just ask them "Why do you want to know." That will usually make them think about their motives. If someone makes comments just say, "Under the circumstances, I am doing the best I know how" and leave it at that.
It can all seem like a lot sometimes but you sound like you've got it figured out and things will fall into place for you if you keep you focus.
And your daughter is beautiful! She has an amazing daddy.
2006-12-06 16:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by puggas 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. She is not a mistake, but a surprise. A mistake is something bad that happens - like an accident that causes a broken leg. A surprise is something you did not plan, but is fantastic.
2. At 5 months I don't believe you can spoil them, just love them. However, try and cut back in how much you give her. At his age it does not make a difference, but when she gets older the list of 'wants' will become more difficult to fill and long term will make her miserable that her wants can not all be filled.
3. Who gives a rat's what other people think and their judgements? Your life, your child, your decision. Your friends obviously are aware of what the true situation is and only their opinion (if any) should be of any concern to you.
2006-12-06 16:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by juztnutz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let what others think about you get in your way, and if all that criticism gets hard then think about what matters most, is that you love your daughter and are striving forward from such a tramatic event. That right there shows your strength and ability to pull through, and in many cases, many people get jealous of this fact and start to speak, ridicule, and criticize.
I applaud you for being so true to your responsibilities, daughter, and your beloved. Making it this far with all that criticism as well is an accomplishment.
Just remember what is most important and that those judging you are being judged themselves, which doesn't harm you but it harms them. Also know that what goes around comes around.
2006-12-06 16:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by Verie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is gorgeous. Congratulations on such a beautiful daughter. You seem to be a very loving father and you are doing your best for her, so don't pay attention to the rest of the people.
I am sure the baby's mother from up above is watching you and is feeling very proud. Try to continue with your studies though. Good luck.
2006-12-06 16:09:51 · answer #7 · answered by Martha P 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
daniel, you don't owe anyone an explanation about your life and how you run it...you're an adult, and a daddy. your life belongs to your baby. get an attitude that you don't care what other ppl think about you. let them judge away...at night, all that matters is that you're there to tuck that precious baby girl in, and be the daddy she needs. a word of caution...be mindful of buying her everything YOU think she needs. it can be a way of trying to fill the "hole" that's in you because you're missing her mom. children need love, patience, understanding, safety, rules, and boundaries...as well as an emotionally heathy parent, more that they need "things." i know it's hard not to buy them everything...they're so adorable, and all the kiddie stuff is so cute too. just use good judgement so you don't have big problems in the future...as in having to get bigger and better "things," and having to out-do the last gifts, etc., you bought.
there is an organization called parents without partners that you might look into...they're awesome. you can socialize with ppl who are in situations like yours. very best of luck to you.
**love the photo...she's a cutie!!
2006-12-06 16:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by pirate00girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who has to live with your actions. You and that baby are the only two things you have to worry about. No matter what you do or don't do someone is going to have something negative to say about it. I commend you for raising your daughter, more men should do it. I wouldn't worry so much about what others think. They don't have to answer for your actions you do. If they can't keep their traps shut about it, then I would tell them where to stick it. Keep your head up and keep doing what you feel is right. Good luck to you and your daughter. She is beautiful and that picture of your happy little daughter should make it all worth it!
2006-12-06 16:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by heaven o 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People are going to judge no matter what you do, no matter how old you are. It will be worst now since youre young, but all your life you're gonna have people acting like they know better than you. Best advice is, don't pay attention to any of that. hear what they say, but you decide whats right for you and your family.
Im sorry things turned out the way they did, but things do happen for a reason.
Good luck in life, and always, ALWAYS be there for your baby girl.
2006-12-06 16:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by Chicabonita 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Well, I would suggest you just keep doing what you are doing. You stepped up to the plate and are handling your responsibilities. I say God bless you for doing the right thing. Most young men would not have done that. You should be very proud of yourself. And do not allow the whispers and nasty comments of others to get to you. It is none of their business, and none of their concern. If they have so much time to talk and worry about your business, they are obviously not handling theirs. Try and get yourself back into school and into college part time, you will be glad you did. Your daughter is beautiful and she is a very luck little girl to have a daddy like you. God bless you! ****
2006-12-06 16:09:37 · answer #11 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋