This is kinda long..but it's real talk?

Question

Ok..I've been dating my fiancee now for a year.Things started off all good at first...then after he got used to me..things went down hill.He wouldn't respect my wishes to stop going out to clubs,stop going to parties, and to stop taking exstacy pills.He got drunk and high most of the times and went out with his dead beat cousin.He ruined our relationship because he influenced my dumb fiancee to disrespect me..he stressed me out so bad that I lost our baby and he wasn't even with me at the hospital :(....RECENTLY..I was introduced to a friend of mines cousin..he is my soulmate..I mean..we have so much in common it scares the crap out of both of us.I have spent time with him and we really click.All of a sudden..my then b/f..stop hanging with his cousin,got a really good job,took me on a shopping spree,and bought me the ring I always wanted..we're newly engaged..that kinda puts me in a bind..b4 he did all this..I was sure that our relationship was dead..now I have 2 men n love.wat do i do

Now all of a sudden..my now fiancee is talking about buying a house next year amd trying for another baby..he feels there's someone else and now its all about me..I don't want to hurt neither one of them..but I need some advice

Answer 1

Be lucky that he woke up, he saw the possibility of losing you and decided to snap out of it and treat you like the princess you are. The bad thing is it could be just for show and once this other guy is out of the picture he'd be back to his old self. But then again this new guy may be just like that too. I mean you clicked and things are great but you haven't been together for a year and it seems like the prospect of having the ideal man is what is really the driving force behind your attraction. esp, since your fiancee was treating you poorly prior to your meeting mr. new man. I say go with your heart only you know whom you really belong with both men have the potential to be great or miserable, give it time and don't rush your decision just because the ring is on your finger but don't give up on him just because he was a bad person before. that's the only advice i can give you. You'll know when it comes to making the right decision.

Answer 2

Well you haven't hurt your existing boyfriend ,,,,, He's hurt hiimself ,,,, If he actually loved you then he wouldn't have put you through this in the first place ,,,, Instead he would be bending over backwards to show you how much he did love you and try his level best to make you feel special all the time and not just when it's convienent to him or when faced with the possibility of losing you ,,,, His putting you through this tells me he's capable of doing it again after he has you more hooked ,,,, You need to run ,,,, not walk ,,,, and get out of that situation ,,,, You are going to pay dearly if you don't ,,,, If his cousin or anyone like him is ever around ,,,,then the potential for your boyfriend doing this again is always there whether you wind up married or not ,,,,You've already been there once and done that ,,,, Time to move on and turn another page in your book of life ,,,, If your boyfriend has issues with himself about this then it's his fault not yours ,,,, Don't let him make a fool of you because that's what he's doing if you stay with him ,,,, You don't need this crap and there are plenty of other fish in the pond ,,,, such as this other fellow you mentioned ,,,, Your existing boyfriend has blown it ,,,, He will realize now that a person doesn't know what he has until he no longer has it ,,,, and believe me that's a hard one to swallow and will be a good lesson for him to remember in the future ,,,, This is also a good lesson for you too ,,,, Drop this guy like you would a hot rock and don't let him talk you out of it ,,,, Stick to your guns ,,,, Guys can be just as good an actor as girls sometimes ,,,, sometimes even better right up to and including a show of tears ,,,,, Don't be fooled ,,,, What you have with your boyfriend isn't a relationship at all especially if it's an on and off affair like you explained ,,,, A relationship should be fun and exciting and not what you've gone through with him ,,,, You aren't going to be able to do this with out hurting someone so let it be the one that has been hurting you all this time ,,,, Pay back is very bitter so give it to the one that has earned it ,,,,, He's brought it on himself and you can't help that ,,,, Go with this other guy ,,,, the pastures look much greener in that direction anyway ,,,,, If he doesn't work out then like I said ,,,, there are plenty of other fish in the pond ,,,,, just go fishing again so to speak ,,,. Start a new chapter in your life with out the difficulties you've experienced in the past ,,,, Good luck ,,,,, Yoda said this ,,,,

Answer 3

Now this is some real talk ok. You say your 1st guy got used to you and things went down hill.He wouldn't respect your wishes and he disrespect you in some way. He left you come on you found a dude you say may be your soulmate. The really good job,the shopping spree,and the ring you always wanted. I mean come on you said it your self you and him lost a child and he wasn't even there. So ask your self this if you go with the 1st guy keep in mind that he may do the same **** again. Go with whom you truly believe can make you happy and that you are happy with.

Answer 4

Ok the first thing is....are you in love with both of them? If you are you need to decide which one you believe in your heart and soul is your companion? By the way you wrote your question...you can already tell that. Your fiance is only doing all of the things he is doing right now because he doesn't want to lose you in anyway. Don't you think its a little too late? You also need to ask yourself if you will you have hatred towards him if you do get married? You lost a baby. That is something no one can ever give back. That wouldn't be fair to either of you. The best thing to do is what is in your heart and yes someone will get hurt. But that is how life is. You live and you learn and you move on. No one can really answer this question but you. I hope this advice does help you!

Answer 5

You left the ex for a reason and as soon as he saw that you were with another man and happy he wanted you back. He took you out and got you the ring that you wanted, got you on a shopping spree, got a good job. I say he got you alright. You can't have both men. You know your ex and how he was well.................. who's to say that once he marries you that he won't start all over again disrespecting you and doing things with his cousin just cause he say that he won't do it? You are happy with this other guy so why mess up a good thing? You even said that this other guy is your soulmate and if that is the case then why are you back with the loser who disrespected you to begin with? Just because bling glitters doesn't mean that its gold. You were happy with someone new and this guy knows it thats why he is throwing confusion your way but sweetie don't fall for it. Give him back his ring and whatever else he bought you and stick with the man that you know loves you and wants to be with you and down for you and not someone who puts you down.

Answer 6

If your fiance is changing just because he is feeling threatened, what is going to stop him from going back to his old ways once he is comfortable again. Don't think of just the short term, think of the relationship in the long run. Marriage is a big step and unless you know that he is going to stay the man he is now then I would break it off as soon as possible. Follow your instincts - not your heart in this situation.

Answer 7

i think of there are some people who're truthfully candy and advantageous, then there are human beings on meds and no be counted what you tell them the worldwide is rainbows and cookies, and then for the the remainder of them that's fake, interior they are egocentric, evil, sinister, and in basic terms prefer to objective to placed on a character to discover something they could carry above your head or use against you.

Answer 8

It all comes down to your honor.
Hooking up with someone does not make everyone else on the planet unattractive. That's where self control comes in. All your life you will have opportunities to meet new people and sometimes they will seem like there's nobody better.
Unless there's something else wrong with your fiance, I suggest you honor your first commitment.

Answer 9

Honey, if I was you I'd forget getting re-engaged to this guy. He showed you his true colors. And most important of all, was not there for you when you really needed him. So what if he buys you the perfect ring? The other guy was your "soul mate" remember. He is worth more than any diamond.

Answer 10

You are not ready to settle down! Leave them both for a period of time (3 to 6 months) and then see how you feel. Also see who is still waiting on you for the time you set aside for yourself!