My friend was with his GF for a year..
He is 26 and she is 27.
They shared their histories about 4 months into it and he told her he had 3 diff sex partners in relationships, she told him she had 3 too.
Then 2 weeks b4 the wedding she told the truth. 12 diff guys.
He called it off.
2006-12-06 07:41:41 · 20 answers · asked by Its me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
umm... u guys are missing something.. she lied until right bf the wedding day.
How is he the villian?
2006-12-06 07:45:26 · update #1
he called it off because she lied. she trapped him. Only after the money was spent, the dresses, suits, building reserved and paid did she tell the truth.
2006-12-06 07:48:41 · update #2
No Yoda the problem is LYING and DECIEVING.
She gets no cookie for telling him right before the wedding after he is drained of cash. That's like telling her, "oh yea, did it tell ya i have aids?" right before the wedding.
2006-12-07 05:17:48 · update #3
If your friend was uncomfortable telling her boyfriend how many partners she'd had, that's exactly what she should have told him. "I'm sorry, but I don't really want to discuss numbers because I don't think that's meaningful. Those relationships were a part of what made me the person that I am now. You are the person I want to be with, chose to be with, and intend to stay faithful to. If you need to know exact numbers and statistics about prior relationships, then maybe I'm the wrong person for you because I just don't see how that's important." End of story, if boyfriend can't live with that, end of relationship.
To lie about it, and then present a wildly different answer just two weeks before the marriage, would sure be a deal-breaker for me.
I think that most people want to be in a relationship with a person who is comfortable enough inside their own skin, so to speak, that they never feel that they have to lie, evade, prevericate, or twist the truth about themselves to someone who is supposed to care for them. If someone tells a lie about one aspect of their life, it's inevitable to wonder what other lies they may have told or will tell.
I think this couple was right to call off the wedding. They obviously had issues about each other that couldn't be resolved in time for the wedding.
2006-12-06 07:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by Karin C 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The issue here isn't the amount of partners she or he had ,,,, That's not really all that important ,,,, If this guy was going to base his reason for calling the whole thing off on that then she should question just how much he does love her and if it was a basis for a marriage in the first place ,,,, What difference does it make how many partners a person has had,,,, Having one is just as bad as having a dozen ,,,, What he should think about is just what he feels for her now ,,,, while they are standing in front of each other ,,,,, He told her he had previous lovers and expected her to forgive him ,,,,, If he's so small that he can't accept her past deeds regardles of how many there were then I consider her the luck one ,,,,, You can't change or help your past ,,,, All you can do is go on ,,,,Yes she should have been honest in the past but there again that's just more water under the bridge and I'm not ,,,, as you say ,,,, missing anything ,,,, THE FACT REMAINS THAT SHE DID TELL HIM ,,,,, If he can't give forgivness as good as he receives it then he is the problem here not her and she's lucky she found out before it was too late ,,,, Lesson learned for the future ,,,, The problem here isn't her it's him ,,,, And I would strongly suggest to him that if he wants a pure woman then go look for her in a church but just make sure he tells her about his past exploits the same way he did with the girl he stood up at the alter ,,,,
2006-12-06 12:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's his choice, and I guess that's what he wanted to do...
but I would consider...
is it worse to have had sex only once with 12 different guys or to have had long sexual involvement with only 3 different ones (not that I'm saying that's what the situation was, I don't know.)
I'm not saying one's better than another, just that there are many factors to consider. Also, girls get hit on a lot more than guy. If a guy doesn't want sex, he doesn't ask. A woman gets asked when she isn't thinking of it. There's more inner guts required, IMHO, and some girls are people pleasers.
BTW, I would be angry that she lied the first time.
2006-12-06 07:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by kannajo 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
looks such as you may take a step returned and make certain the place your existence is going and what possibilities in existence at the instant you're making* looks like youre no longer waiting for relationships ideal now, you will get your training on the right song, get a element time activity maybe...and initiate making some sturdy possibilities in existence. being with somebody whos a highway youngster, no longer likely to college etc...is going to grant you alot of problems. is that what you choose? you heavily could make certain the place your existence is going and initiate making extra constructive possibilities* goodluck*
2016-10-17 22:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why call a wedding off over how many partners she had? That's all in the past. You can't change a person's past. The only reason she probably told him three also was so she wouldn't make herself look bad in his eyes. Alot of people need to stop living in the past and enjoy what they have in the present and try to improve upon that for their future.
2006-12-06 07:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well i could understand if she cant tell the truth about something like that...whats to say she will tell the truth during their marriage about something bigger. probably wouldnt have been bad at all if she just told him from the get go but they still had 2 weeks to talk about it and see where they stand before calling off the wedding
2006-12-06 07:44:51 · answer #6 · answered by Nisey B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Too bad she wasn't honest in the beginning, but if the wedding was already being planned he's being a jerk and she's trying to come clean before it.
On the other hand, maybe people should date more than a year before getting married.
2006-12-06 07:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by Cobalt 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
yes it was wrong atleast she was being honest with him.. and he is shallow because what happend when they were not together has nothing to do with him what is in the past is in the past.. comes to show that he never really loved her the way he claimed.... He was being childish and immature..... But i guess better he left her now then him dragging her through a divorce where he would have lost everything
2006-12-06 07:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well. its all on how the guys feels about itt. Im mean.. im a girl and if i was that girl in this situation.. i would ask for anyother chance, i mean 3-4 thats okey but i think she got alittle [out of hand] with 12. but some girls are just that good that they can get 12 and go for itt. hes just lucky that she told him and he didnt find out after the wedding. he should def. of givin her another chance after she told him truth. if she wanted to be with him. maybe she wanted him to break up with her so she could go with one of the other boyss. it all depends.. =]
2006-12-06 07:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by Chelsie T 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
He is right to do that!!! who wants to marry a lier! if she lied about that, even though she told the truth later, who says she is not going to lie again!!!! I would too! Atleast until they get their **** straight!!!
2006-12-06 07:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by smitty4626 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋