Dear Husband
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!” My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life
you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
2006-12-06 07:00:26 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha......that was great, wasn't sure where the first letter was going but damn if the second one didn't clinch it!
2006-12-06 07:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
GEM you are a GEM! I love Mama Cass. She was an extraordinary singer with a beautiful powerful voice. She was a gift just like you. Hopefully we all have a little something to offer each other in this world.
2016-05-23 01:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny. A long way to go but worth the trip. Thx.
2006-12-06 07:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lostlove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was so ironic but moral is look before you leap
2006-12-06 07:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by clumsy gamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao pretty good loved it
2006-12-06 07:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by pookypoo1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL YEAH. GET IT RICH AS HELL AND FREE!!!:) I FEEL SORRY FOR POOR EX-WIFE. NOT:-(
2006-12-06 07:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by BRITTANY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pretty good lol!
2006-12-06 07:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by starry_eyez70 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LOVED IT!
2006-12-06 07:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by SinisterKid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋