Do we choose our sexual orientation?

Question

If sexual orientation is really a choice, shouldn't we all have the ability to choose another for one day? or one minute? and then choose to go back.
Could you choose to become attracted to your same sex?

((I apologize if this seems unrelated to religion and spirituality, but I believe it is due to the overwhelming discrimination involved))

I suppose my position is clear based on my framing of the question, but I am open to dissenting opinions.

galloping gormet: sexual orientation--one's natural preference in sexual partners....
It does not have to do with the act of sex.

Answer 1

NO. It's not. Tell the incredulous to check with the APA. They're the relevant authorities. They've been telling us for the better part of 4 decades and in no uncertain terms that homosexuality is normal, healthy and just as unchangable as heterosexuality. They've been telling us that it's not a mental illness, that it's not a disorder, disease, dysfunction, maladjustment, psychosis, perversion, etc.... Looks like some people missed the memo. That, or they're wearing extra strength anti-reality goggles.

Oh, and as for "reparative therapy":

Theories of therapeutic methods for changing sexual bias are no longer endorsed by professional mental health organizations, such as the American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, American Counseling Association, National Association of School Psychologists, and the National Association of Social Workers. Other health care associations have also condemned reparative therapy including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American School Health Association. Professional organizations of educators have also added their voice opposing this therapy, such as the American Association of School Administrators, American Federation of Teachers, and the National Education Association.

Answer 2

Its good to see this question posed in a respectful manner. So many people just comes here to rant.

I do not believe sexual orientation can be decided. You are not borned with it either. Its a collection of ideas, experiences (good and traumatic), desicions, acts, that one day lead you to realize a sexual preference.

This however does not justify the deviation from the divine design of heterosexuality.

I will give you an example wich is rude, please dont take it personally as is only an illustration:

If a person is born under the toughest circumstances and becomes a criminal because of the way he was raised, he still sins if he steals or murders. If he can tell right from wrong he cannot use his backgroun or preferences as an excuse.

The sexual orientation is not the sin. Is the act or purpose to commit the act that is a sin.

I'm sorry if you have been discriminated before. We are all sinners and as such God loves us all. There is no reason not to accept in church a homosexual, drug addict, criminal or even a stinking bum (we had one last week and he was really stinky).

Answer 3

We do choose our sexual orentation. Just like we choose anything else in life.

I once read an article about the medical study that originally "claimed" that there was no choice. The article basiclly said that the findings of this study had been taken out of proportion. It said that the original study found that in many homosexual men, they had high estrogen levels, that were passed to them while in the womb. That was spun and taken to mean that they had no choice, they were just gay. This is why it is so very important for people to ready these studies on thier own. If I remember correctly, the article was in Newsweek. But it has been several years since I read it.

But yes I believe it is a choice.

As for discrimination- I think that certain things a a consequence of a choice. I don't think that it is right to deny these people work or throw rocks through their windows or things like that. Or make them shop at different stores or go to different schools.

But I do believe that Marriage should only be between a man and a woman. And that children have the right to a home where there are two parents, a mother and a father.

If you want to be married and have a family then do it the way God intended- with a man and a woman.

Answer 4

I think everybody has a choice. Do you act on what your thinking every time?
For example - it's a sin to have sex outside of marriage. Does that mean it doesn't happen? nope. Does that mean the offending party didn't have a choice, they had to follow their feelings? Not at all.
I'm sure if people were to live in a situation where they saw only people of another sexual orientation than their own, that eventually, their minds would change and they would follow their feelings and go with what was around them(maybe not all, but some). The only thing that would be hard to answer would be whether or not God thought it a sin if someone wasn't obviously a man or a woman.

Answer 5

Honestly? I don't think a person does have much of a choice as to their urges. However, it's what we DO with those urges that matters.
Even in the eyes of God, I don't believe that actually being a homosexual is a sin...unless the person acts on it.
I know I'm going to get thumbs-down for that, and some will call me intolerant and hateful...but I'm not just making this up off the top of my head. If it was up to mankind, I suppose we could just have sex with whomever we choose, whenever we want. But I don't believe that it IS up to us to decide what's right and wrong.

Answer 6

Your sex is determined before your brain is developed. As a matter of fact, I have known some people whose brain was not developed before they became old and gray.
That said, some people are not satisfied with the sex that they were born into, but God made you the sex that you are. Your parents did not do that and certainly you had no control of that.
He also made you for a purpose, and you might as well not fight it because you are kicking against the goads.
Fighting it will hurt you more than accepting it the way it is.
Maybe you would just like to be the opposite sex just long enough to see how it feels to be the opposite sex.
I am sure that any guy who was able to change into a girl would want to become a guy again, real fast.
Some women, though not built like men, try to act just like men and are very comfortable acting like men.
Sometimes I think that I might have preferred to be born rich, but then I know some real snobs that are rich and I would rather die than to be like them.
I would only want to be rich if I could stay humble.

Answer 7

Sure, I remember distinctly around the age of 12 or 13 thinking, Okay, it's time to develop sexually now after a decade of being completely unaware of those things, so which one shall I go for? I weighed up the pros and cons of each - less persecution, BUT better taste in clothes and art - and I made a conscious choice to be heterosexual. Surely everyone remembers that special time in their lives when they chose to be het?

And apparently gays use that time to choose to be gay as well, but I'm not gay so I can only assume they were the same as me when they made that choice.

Answer 8

I'm not sure what makes someone cross into a homosexual lifestyle by choice or being born with it , but I believe that folks do make the choice to act upon their feelings. I'm not familiar enough with the life style to offer more than this answer - In my research in the Bible NIV - there are verses that say it's not God's way - so with that in mind I do believe you can love the sinner but not the sin, so to speak. God loves people who put him first in everything so if people are born this way - than its not for us to judge

Answer 9

With regards to the straight people who say you can choose, I wonder how many of them feel they chose. I'm straight. I tried to be bi some time ago. Didn't work so well.

Answer 10

You might be able to choose for a day or two but for a whole lifetime? I don't think so, and for what reason?
Horrible and deceitful to live a lie, far better to accept yourself and others for what and who they are.
Consensual relationships are nobody else's business, take care of your own consensual relationships and let others take care of theirs

Sexual orientation is not a choice but if it was I would choose to be gay, I accept myself and I like my life, I don't put up with homophobic nonsense from anyone and I have a (mostly) sane family apart from one Christian fundamentalist sister but i love them all, I also have mostly sane mostly straight friends who are great and so does my long term partner, life is good when you're in a caring, gay, monogamous relationship - even in a mostly straight world.