I babysit for a living and I have a question.....?

Question

I am a stay at home mother of a 5 year old little girl. I recently decided to start babysitting for extra Xmas money. I ran an ad in the paper and now watch 2 kids. A 3 month old girl and a 2 year old boy. The 3 month old has been coming here for a month. This is the first week for the 2 yr old. I gave the mother of the 2 yr old references and all that when she first came to meet me. She felt comfortable and started her son the next day. She calls 4 times a day. Just to check on him and to make sure he ate. Last night she called and said they noticed a scratch on his stomach and wanted to know how it happened. I told her I had no clue that he never cried or anything to me. I didn't notice him getting hurt all day. Well she was very angry that he got hurt in my care and kept demanding to know what happened.I have no clue!She brought him back this morning and brought it up again.I feel that she is someone who may nit pick everything.I have a bad feeling about this.How would u handle this

The scratch is like maybe 2 inches long on his tummy. Not deep or serious.

Answer 1

Oh man do I understand where you are coming from! I have a day care in my home and I had a parent who was just like the one you're talking about. She called almost every hour to see how her daughter was. Did she stop crying after she left, did she start playing after she had snack, what did she have for snack, how much did she eat, did she go down for her morning nap, when did she wake up from her morning nap, and on and on and onnnnnnn! After a couple of days I politely explained that I had 5 children in my care and the phone calls were taking away from the time I spent with the children and that I needed her to curb the calls or at least understand that I would not always be able to answer the phone. She didn't like that and kept calling anyway, and if I couldn't get to phone in time, she would hang up and call back immediately until I answered. After 2 weeks of me feeling completely on edge and under the microscope we had a conversation. I asked her if it was possible for her to stay at home with her child, I said you don't have to give me any details, I would just like to suggest this to you. She asked me why and I told her that if she was so concerned about her child during the day maybe it would be better if she just stayed home. She said that no she couldn't financially do that. I then told her that the constant phone calls had to stop. I didn't mind one in the middle of the day, but that I could not continue watching her child if I felt like she didn't trust me. I also said that if she were in a larger day care facility they would not allow this at all. The person who answers the phone is not usually the person who is in the classroom and that they would not be able, or willing for that matter, to trot down to the room every hour to get a report from the teacher. She agreed to one phone call at lunch time and that worked for about 3 days. Then it was 2 phone calls, then it was 3, then it was almost every hour again. A week of that and I gave her notice and told her she had to find another child care facility that I would not work with someone who didn't trust me and that I had a waiting list of parents who were needing quality child care and would trust that their child was well cared for during the day without making me feel like I was not doing a good enough job. Yes, it is the parents right to check in on their childcare provider and they should from time to time, but there is a line between checking in with them and being obsessive and controlling. I think you need to have a talk with this parent now and let her know that she needs to keep the phone calls to a minimum. Remind her about the individual care her child is receiving with you and if she thinks a scratch on the tummy is bad, just let her take her child to a larger facility and see what kinds of scrapes and bruises he comes home with, not to mention strep throat, the croup, the flu, stomach viruses, and nasty runny noses, just to name a few. She needs to get a grip and let it go, kids get scratches and bumps, it's not like you sliced the child's stomach open on purpose. Good grief. If she can't realize that, you need to think about letting her go.

Answer 2

I think you're right... I would probably let her know that you will finish out the week and give her notice to find another day care starting next week. And from the way she sounds.. I would give her the notice in writing.. I have a book titled "How to Say It" by Rosalie Maggio and it is so useful in writing all kind of letters, notices, and gives you tons of options, with phrasing, what not to do etc...

In the case of a dispute like this it cautions to not put them on the defensive by using an accusing tone ( I know... she started it...lol) It says to outline the two opposing views. Then give clear reasons for your stand, using supportive material or statements ( you gave her referrals , she checked them out etc..) Use "I" statements not "you" statements and avoid emotional statements...

Here are some of the words or phrases suggested:
incompatible, complicated situation, dissatisfaction, awkwardness,matter at issue, matter in question,question at issue, it would be in the best interest of (her child) to agree to terminate,I regret to inform you, the most satisfactory solution would be to...

Hope this gives you some ideas....In all the years of owning my own business, I have found that these are the type of ppl you will never be able to make happy and if this started that soon into the relationship she could cause all kind of problems for you.
Every 2 year old I have ever been around is active, exploring, crawling, climbing getting into everything and they have all had scratches , bruises, bumps, and sometimes broken or sprained bones from what they get into... She knows that... let her go find a better place for him...

In the future you may want to draw up a policies letter, covering minor things like that and that you have a policy to notify them if any "accident" occurs. I also used a day care one time that had a little check sheet attached to my childs diaper bag everday... what they ate, what time they ate, if they peed, pooped, if they seemed happy or tired etc... It was a great way to cover their a*s... Which is what you'll need to do if you want to continue...

Hope this is all helpful and supportive to you, I know I hate it when my business morals and ethics are questioned but I learned quickly to use tools in the initial contract that made my clients rights feel protected as well as protecting myself...
Wish you all the best..

Answer 3

I babysat a two year old as a living for a year, and know that yes they do get hurt, and a lot of times it's nothing. As a mother I would like to know if my child was hurt and how it happened, but something so simple as a scratch, I think she is going a little overboard. If I were in your position I would call to have a meeting with the mother. Calling 4 times a day is a little to much. I might suggest that if she cannot trust you, she find someone she can trust to care for her child. Who's to say the scratch even happened while he was in your care, sounds like she is a little to over protective, and might just end up being a pain.

Answer 4

Wow! How freaking annoying! It was annoying with the 4-calls-a-day from the start. You should just tell her that you honestly don't know what happened to her child (which you did tell her), and if she continues to bring him back and complain, just say: "I can't continue to watch your son for you if you don't trust him in my care."

It's not fair for you to have to be worrying over some child, who, if he gets hurt, some angry mom will be all over your back. I babysit a lot as well, and kids obviously bump into things, get bruises, and scratches more often than not--especially toddlers...and on top of that, he's a boy :) I'm paranoid as it is when that happens, and it is not good for the parent to make it worse than it is...in your case, it's horrible that she's pushing an issue you've been telling her you have no clue about.

She obviously doesn't trust you enough (she doesn't believe you're telling the truth) and I do believe she will continue to "nitpick" over even the littlest things perhaps...so just go back to what I suggested you say to her before and hopefully she'll calm her face down, and if not, just stop doing business with her.

Okay, well I hope everything works out for you! Have a nice day and Merry Christmas!

Answer 5

I babysat out of my home for 6 years. You need to be very sweet and act caring about the child. She is probably just feeling insecure. She really does not know you yet. I would reassure her that it was something you were not aware of and you are sorry the child got scratched. After a few days if she is still talking about it tell her in a nice way that if she is unhappy you will be glad to accept her 2 week notice. Remember word of mouth carries alot of weight in child care so if you have one unhappy mom it will spread like wildfire. As for her calling all the time I had two kids (siblings) and their mother called everyday at nap time and asked what they were doing. It drove me crazy! I thought the same thing as yesterday lady!!! Then when my son started school and I went back to work in the work world I realized that she probably called because it was her lunch time or something and things at work were slow and she was probably missing her kids having time to think. I know it can make you crazy to have an over picky mother!!!!! Just bear with her and if it continues very long break your tie to her in a professional, nice way!!!!! People do not realize that if you are trusting and appreciate your babysitter they tend to love your kids easier than if you are overbearring or pushy....Good Luck!

Answer 6

I would be like " Ma'am your son is 2 years old and will get many unexplained bruises and scratches. I do not know how he got it because he never came up to me and said anything about pain. He might of scratched himself for all I know. If for any reason you can not handle this unexplained scratch then i would suggest you find someone else. I would never let anything bad happen to your lovely child but I am sorry for the scratch on his belly." I feel bad for that child if she is going to freak out over a scratch. Its a boy and a toddler at that. lol!

Answer 7

FIrst off apologize for not seeing it. It probably was the babies sharp nails though that cut himself remind her of that. Second while she is there each morning check him for new marks and if you find something show her, do the same at pick up. If by some chance he does get hurt in your care notify her immediatly so that she can be aware of it. Seems to me that she is just an overprotective mother and untill she feels comfortable being away(probably missing) her child she will call several times do your best to make her feel comfortable encourage her to come by on her lunch break if its not to far away so that she might visit . I think its just mostly her nerves tough just do as she asks and be extra careful with her child and she will lighten up

Answer 8

He's a boy. Boys are rough and get scratches. I find scratches on my nephew all the time. For all we know he could have brushed up against an artificial plant. I could see her freaking if he required stitches but why are sooo many parents so afraid to let kids be kids?

If I were you I'd tell her to use another babysitter if she continues to be an overly paranoid mother. In my experience mothers like her are feeling a guilty conscious... maybe he got the scratch while in her care.

Answer 9

#1 she's so concerned yet leaving her kid in your care.
#2 Id think Id be very concerned if God forbid the normal 2yo takes a bad fall and gets a bruise. Sounds like she expects you to keep him harm free. Not going to happen,no matter how great of a care taker you are.
The calling 4 times a day shows she's concerned for her kid. As time goes she'll probably call less. But decide if you need a nitpicker hounding you over every timy incident. Yesterday my 4yo got 2 bruises. None of which were my fault.

Answer 10

I babysit and have had problems with some parents. I had one child cry the whole time he was wiht me. You have to decide what you will tolerate from the parents. If it is not a good fit for you or the child and parents you might have to let her know that you are not able to babysit for her. It might leave some hard feelings, but you have to do what is right for you and your family. You don;t want to work with a pariond mom and who knows what she might do. Did you type up a contract for her and you too sign? I do this so all my parents know what to expect of me, what I deal with, sickness and disipline, holidays and rates, etc. You can find sample contracts online and use them for your babysitting. Just make sure you don't take on more than you can handle. Good luck.

Answer 11

Has her son NEVER gotten a bruise or scratch? She has to realize that kids get scratches and bumps sometimes and there's nobody abusing them! If it were me, I would not want that woman as a customer. You're right about the nit-picking, but it could get even worse. She could file charges against you. Tell her the truth, you're not comfortable with the arrangement and sorry, but she'll have to find another caregiver. Don't feel guilty about it either, feel relieved!