I was with my boyfreind for almost 3 years and I broke up with him and made him move out because he was cheating. He started parting and doing his own thing for a month or so and we did not talk during this time but I woudl see him out at the club...never with anyone. However just this past week we have been talking again and he stayed at my house 3 nights this week and only one night we had sex and the others he held me and this is what he says that he wants because he fills comfort when we are togather. He asked me today if I loved him and I told him yes that I always would but that I am not in love with him. He knows by the way I have been acting that this is only a comfort type relationship and knows that I will not be hurt again so I will not be back with him. But I am not a hoe so I do not sleep around and he gives good loving so so I still have sex with him for pleasure and nothing else or is this giving mixed signals???
2006-12-06 06:12:38 · 28 answers · asked by stephanie c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
STOP STOP STOP think about it! This makes no sense. He's just looking for a booty call.
2006-12-06 06:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by marie1257 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue being intimate with him you know that it's not going to end well.
If you want it to be friends with benefits then make sure you clearly state that to him so that there aren't mixed signals and he can decide if he wants to continue with new terms.
Also make sure that you're willing and able to be in such a relationship with him. You may not be "in" love with him, but there are definitely a lot of feelings involved since you were with him for 3 years and those feelings could grow again and you may end up wanting something more.
Having sex with him is definitely a risk, set and clearly state your parameters and take it from there if you choose. I'd personally say to leave it alone because not too much good can from that in the end at least in an intimate relationship with him.
Good luck!
2006-12-06 14:20:35 · answer #2 · answered by Tempest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know as well as I do that you can only hold up this whole no emotions thing for so long. As hard as you try if you keep this up you WILL eventually start to let your guard down and I am really sorry to say it but he sounds like he would hurt you again. A good test is to let him back in your life somewhat but DO NOT sleep with him. If he still hangs around after a while of dealing with that I would maybe take him back.
2006-12-06 14:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by Tricia B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man who messes around when they are suppose to be in love with you is not worth the time or the energy to worry about. He will just repeat the behavior again, and perhaps hurt you more. If you want to play the "sex in the city" game, and use him just as a sex toy, then more power to you, but keep the cuddlies out of it. I personally vote that you find someone who is worthy of you and your affection. He is out there, but be weary of the double standard guy. He may feel it is okay for him to have slept around, but may not want a future partner to have done that. Life can be very fulfilling without sleeping with a guy to satisfy some need. Love and commitment with sex is out of this world. Wait for it.
2006-12-06 14:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by curious1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would not. Sweetie have some respect for yourself and cut your loss from the situation. There is someone out there for you who for one will not cheat and put you as second best and for two will give you asll you need. You already said you loved him but are not in love, you will just hurt yourself. Trust me I stayed in a marriage way longer then I should have under a similiar situation and that my dear is 7 and a half years of my life I can never get back. Do not have sex with him, cut him off and find someone who DESERVES you!
2006-12-06 14:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by Needingsomeadvice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only are you sending mixed signals you're also harming yourself. Justifying you are not a ho doesn't exactly excuse your choices either, you're smart enough to figure that out.
Move on, you can do better, you know you can or else you wouldn't have asked this question on Yahoo. The more and longer you stay with him you become more and more pathetic, which is something nobody wants.
So...what are you waiting for?
Before you can be as blunt or as harsh or whatever you deem necessary to ensure he quite clearly gets the message that you are over.
Don't be so selfish to stay for good lovin'.
2006-12-06 14:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by simm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experiences tell me that sleeping with a x will just end up bad. I have had sexbuddies and it has worked out well due that i learned to turn off my emotions and not start to like the guy and see him for what he is.
It is so much easier to find someone to have sex with now and then than to find a real boyfriend that you want to share ur life with.
If i like a guy now and if he isnt good enough as bf material then I just keep him as a sexbuddy.
I hope you do what is best for you and try not to get hurt!
2006-12-06 14:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i mean in this day and time no matter what you or anyone else does, they are always called a Hoe, i mean it seems like girls cant fun like guys can really. But i mean to me this is kinda leading him on and making him think things ya know? Maybe its not a good idea to keep it going just for sex. But i hope things work out for you.
2006-12-06 14:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by [[<3]] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as you are POSITIVE that he knows you aren't interested in a relationship with him, then do what you gotta do! Plenty of people have relationships of convenience, I think the only thing bad that comes out of them is one party not being clear about the situation. As long as the boundaries are very clear, then who cares if you guys still have sex?
Though, my only warning would be to not let yourself get back to that place with him. A month is not long enough for someone to change that dramatically. If you think continuing to sleep with him is going to make you fall back in love with him, I would seriously consider cutting him loose if I were you. If you can have a physical relationship with him without your feelings getting involved, then more power to you, just really think about it before you begin and make sure this isn't just your brain rationalizing letting him back into your life. :-) Good luck!!
2006-12-06 14:18:10 · answer #9 · answered by Princess~C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't mixed signals if you have told him that you do not want a relationship with him again.
Be careful though, I know having sex with your ex is easy and familiar and comfortable, but your feelings are still involved and you could still get hurt.
2006-12-06 14:15:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sleeping with someone who wants more than just sex is def. leading them on. The comfort you are getting out of it in the moment will be negated by the drama it will cause. Be the bigger person and move on and let him move on instead of leaving him to wait for you to turn around and tell him you love him.
2006-12-06 14:16:15 · answer #11 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋