So I've been dating this guy for over a year now, and I just have this feeling that he is not over his ex. They have two kids together, so I understand that they will always be in eachother lives, but he's always talking to her, hanging out at her house, doing favors for her that don't involve the kids, and it pisses me off.
2006-12-06 06:11:28 · 35 answers · asked by daisy83731 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's cheating on you with her. Dump him now.
2006-12-06 06:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by two_kee_kees 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I read this question and thought that I had posted it.... seriously. I know exactly what you mean. I have been dating a guy now for almost 3 yrs. He and his ex have 2 children together, and me and him have 1 together. He is always talking to her, and she is constantly calling him whining and complaining about hw crappy her life is. He is always doing her favors, he pays child support (almost $400 a month) and yet he still sends he money on top of that too. Not everything they talk about is about the kids, and it pisses me off also. For awhile I thought I was the only one out there with a problem like this. My best advice... which I have recently been doing with mine.... set your foot down, and set it down firmly. Don't budge. You have your opinions, and you are a human being. If he loves and respects you, then he will do his best to please you better. I have told mine that I would appreciate her not calling almost every day if its not about the kids, and if its not about the kids and he feels he should talk to her... then he needs to leave the room. Also... he is not to spend an eternity on the phone with her either. I told him that I understand that he does need to talk to her and etc., but not to the extent of which they carry it out. I've told him that they left each other for reasons and that they have also both moved on. I remind him that he has another family now to also have to think about. I hope what ever I've said helps. Just remember that you are a person too... and yes... you do have the right to say something about it. Those kids are a part of your life too , even if they try to deny it. If you look after them, take care of them,etc., you do have a say.
2006-12-06 06:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by kimmysue1983 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont like sharing your guy...and thats normal. But thats just something that will always be a factor when you date someone who was married before and has kids with them. His kids will always come first therefore his ex wife will always hold some sort of power. She will always be in his life. And if you cant handle that, which i wouldnt be able to, then maybe dating a man with children isnt the right relationship for you. But if you cant see yourself living without him then your going to have to accept it, even if it means pretending you dont mind. Hes going to have to go over there and spend time with her. And yes, a part of him will always love her im sure. If not for any other reason, the fact that shes the mother of his children. But there is a reason he is not with her and he is with you. If he wanted to be with her, he would. But he chooses to be with you. Just think about if you want that kind of life, if you can truly except it and be happy. Because life is too short to be anything but happy. And maybe you should talk to him, without sounding extremely jealous, and tell him that it bothers you when he pays attention to her. And you feel like your sharing him sometimes. Maybe he doesnt even know how hes making you feel, and maybe it will help. Anyway, good luck.
2006-12-06 06:23:02 · answer #3 · answered by amtech33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel about him constantly being around his ex-wife that doesn't involve his children. You have every right to be angry, because he's always talking to her, and I don't think he can get over his ex-wife-even though he has moved on with his life with you. Your boyfriend needs to understand that him and his ex-wife aren't together anymore and he should stop doing favors for her that doesn't involve his children! Good luck!
2006-12-06 06:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing that because he's still sexually involved with her, that's why you have those feelings...If you have a man who has kids from someone else and he hangs at her house, he's screwing the hell out of her..
Sometimes in life people know that they aren't meant to be together but they may have good sex together...
If he wasn't involved with her sexually, you would be going with him to get the kids and he would not be hanging around her house if nothing was going on....
2006-12-06 08:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will always have that bond. She will be the woman in his life way past those kids turn 18. You better get over it or move on. Because those feelings are just gonna simmer within you.
I have issues w/ my b/f getting mad when I have long conversations w/ my daughters father. And really it is best for separated/divorced parents to have a great relationship. It makes being parents that work together that much easier.
2006-12-06 06:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I can see that it pisses you off. I have a son too and my x helps me out and I know that he isn't over me. If a relationship is over and it includes kids then everything the parents do after ending the relationship should only involve the kids.
2006-12-06 06:13:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe I have an answer for you. My boyfriend is still married to his wife (they're separated and going through their divorce) and @ the time when they were together they had custody of a family member's children. After he left her he still used to go by and see her and the kids. @ 1st I was upset by it, honestly I didn't like it, but I thought about it like this if the shoe were on the other foot I would want him to trust me and allow me the respect to see whomever I wanted to see and let my child's father come see me and the baby (my son's 7 months).
Also, think about it like this, if you were the one w/ an ex and kid's wouldn't you want him to be undertsnading?
If he wanted to be w/ her then he would have never gotten a divorce.He's w/ who he wants to be w/ and if it's bothering you then talk to him. He loves you, he'll understand, and I'm sure you two will come to a reasonable agreement about the ex-wife and kids.
2006-12-06 06:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by uniquebeauty00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might still have feelings for her...after all they must see each other all the time since they have kids. You have every right to be pissed...tell him how you feel about the whole thing...if he really loves you he will understand and try to work something out...
2006-12-06 06:16:23 · answer #9 · answered by ram_this911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem and I lay in bed at night just thinking about it. I am very jealous too and I just can't seem to overcome it well at least we know that they must have some feelings for us if they are with us and not them I am curious to see other responses. Consider yourself lucky my man has two kids from two different girls.
2006-12-06 06:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would piss me off too. You are jealous of her because you can see he still cares about her. I'd be concerned with him 'helping out' - it's fine, I suppose, if that is all he is doing. I don't think it's wrong to say that you want him to limit what he does for her. Sounds like she doesn't have a new boyfriend yet and that is not your problem or his.
2006-12-06 06:17:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋