depressed about my dad?

Question

well when i was five my dad went away and left me,k my mum doesnt say anyhting about him anymore, and i have started thinking about him more often now, and i dont no why, can anyone think why i am thinking of him so much, and how can i forget it?? or should i forget it, what should i do?? please help xx

Answer 1

my dad went back to his wife when my mom got pregnant with me and we have never laid eyes on each other. i do have a small pic my grandma saved for me, but i think of my father everyday of my life. sometimes good and sometimes not so good thoughts.i wonder about him how he is where he is is he even alive?? so i think it is natural to think of him and even miss him.i miss mine and i never had even a day with him. sometimes i wonder how he could have a baby girl and not be with her at least some. u will probably always have these thoughts, nothing will make it go away .i am grown with my own family now and the thoughts still follow me.i hope this gets easier for u.i wish u the best.

Answer 2

When my Dad died it was the worst loss I had suffered in my life (up to that time), even though my family had time to say good bye in hospice it did not lessen the degree of loss when he finally passed, in fact his pain was so great during hospice I had secretly wished he would go sooner rather than later. When he left I was emotional but attempted as best I could to muster up strength for my Mom. While doing this I felt I was getting over the depression of losing him rather fast, which I didn't think was a bad thing at the time. About two weeks after his death I was driving to work and started to think about him, the lump in my throat grew and finally the tears came. This must have been a moment I thought and when I got to work it was gone, however these symptoms came back every morning on my way to work and it was depressing me to a point that I thought I might need some help. It turned out, I believe, that these morning grief sessions actually helped me. I was able to talk to him, apologize for stupid things I had done when I was prepubescent (I know stupid), and even tell him I understood so much of life because of him. This type of drive and grieve lasted for about six months and I believe it really helped me work through this time in my life. What I'm saying and really all that I am saying is you need to feel the loss, but there may be a time where it can be done better. I never had the immense sad feelings while at work or while I was busy doing something else, so I am suggesting to you to let your grief go, but try to make a time to do it. I believe that the grief is necessary but do not think it should overtake you life, get out there and do life but don't forget your Dad. Talk to him and remember him but don't forget to live. You don't need drugs to get through this, I think it will make the depression last longer.

Answer 3

I wonder how old you are? Not that old I think. But you have a right to know who your dad is. Start by speaking to your mum, no matter what their fight was, he is still your dad. But speak to her an a calm non volitile way. If she wont talk then back off and leave it. But keep going back to the subject every so often. If you cannot get anywhere with her try the internet with any info you already have. Best of luck with your search. But be prepared he may not want to be contacted, and he most certainly will not be the the fantasy figure you have created in your mind, he may even be deceased. But for your vown peace of mind you have to know. Hope it works out for you.

Answer 4

I am not sure if this will help much, but it is my intention. So here goes-- I can understand missing a parent whom you barely know. Just on the basis that he is your father, you should not forget about him, or it...
Your mother was most likely hurt by his leaving, which may be why she doesn't say anything about him any longer. I really think you shouldn't forget him, and try to understand his leaving has opened up an empty space for you which needs to be filled.
Yes, this may take time, and some understanding on your part.
The understanding is how and why your mother feels the way she does. You should try to talk to her about it when you feel the time is right to ask her. Also, are there any aunts or uncles who you can talk to you about it?

Answer 5

You dont say what age you now are. Do you remember your Dad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your present obsession. Have you got a photograph of him. These thoughts will not go away easily. Can you speak to your mother and express your thoughts to her. See what she thinks. When you have explored all the avenues open to you, I can see no reason why you cant make initial contact with your Dad (if its possible) and take things from there.

Answer 6

Because you want to know him. If my father had left when I was five, I'd have a lot of questions for him.

Does it cause a problem when you mention him to your mother? I think you need to slowly begin to bring up the subject of your father and, if you want, you could contact him. He could turn out to be a good guy and then you'd be able to have a relationship with your father. If he turns out to be a jerk, then just end the relationship--and this time it will be you leaving his life. The choice is yours to make. I wish you luck.

Answer 7

as we get older we all want to know more. have you tried to talk to ur mum maybe she finds its hard have you any other family members you can ask if its too difficult for your mum.its a natural curiousity. we all have it.